Like I promised, I will critique the runway portion of the show... although thank goodness since this was a two day challenge, there was more story content for the editors to work with and the show was actually interesting with well made clothes!! I personally love that Anthony can only stay quiet for 14 minutes and 56 seconds (and only with the help of a gag). OH Brown Sugar, why do you sound so good?
"Ya'll, I'm saving the show with my personality. Fir reals."
THE CHALLENGE: Create an age-appropriate outfit for a little girl and a corresponding outfit for her mother.
"Why must EVERYTHING be a contest?"
This week's guest judge is Tory Burch. And she is a smug, stuck-up bitch supreme with nothing of any interest to say. We'll get to her complete personality defect-assery in a few... But first, the runway!
Awwww. Love the yellow and the SMILE on the little girl! She's so happy! (I was so delighted that the kids got to do the runway... what a dream come true for a little girl! And a new old biddy...) I don't love the midrift on the "mom" model. (Of course, I stopped showing my midrift years ago... sigh...) Either way, a cute combo and perhaps the new Morton Salt ad?
Ben's child model cracked me up because she was so timid and shy. When she get to the end of the runway she just did a little hip wiggle. It was so adorable that I clapped (which greatly alarmed the dogs on the couch with me).
Ben's look is truly a lovely and safe design. I feel like they are well made but the nothing mind blowing is happening here. I feel like you can find these looks in stores already. Safe, agreed!
WOW - this is a great look for the model, Holly. And she's finally styled correctly so that she looks feminine and soft instead of aggressively mannish. Love the little girl's dress with the pockets!! (OMG, I love pockets!) Do you know how many tissues I would have left in the pockets if I had that dress as a child? TONS! And they all would have gone through the wash and made my mom crazy. (I was an awesome kid...)
I actually would want to try on the "mom's" dress. I really love how tailored it is... although I'm not sure the pink would play to well on me since I'm over 25-years-old (by several years).
Ummmm. Meh? I don't like that the "mom's" outfit is separates as it has that slight separation where you can see her stomach and that makes the outfit look sloppy. The little girl's dress is cute - very vacation dinner looking, as if they are in Hawaii or somewhere tropical. But I agree that this look belongs in the safe category.
Hate the kid's outfit, love the "mom's." The kid's outfit to me is a bit trite in that "kid's love colors!" sort of way. It's just too busy for me. I would have rather seen a solid legging in a complimentary color than the polka dots. I love the "mom's" jacket and I find it interesting that her leggings are cut on a bias at the bottom. I'd love to try them on and see how they look! Again, agree that this look is safe.
VERY fashion forward. I want the kid's outfit for myself. I love the cut of the shirt w/ the jeans. The "mom's" shirt would just make me look lumpier than I already am. To me, that is truly a shirt that can only be worn by a tall and slender gal. (Same with the pants... they seem quite unforgiving and what I call "Spanx Pants" because OMG, I'll need to be sucked in to make these work.)
The judges love how chic this looks are... I agree! But, I think the mom's look just isn't as functional as the kid's outfit is. But that's just me...
HMMMMMMMMM. I go back and forth on these looks. Let me start with what I love. THAT JACKET. If I were a kid (or adult) I'd wear the crap outta that jacket. I like the dress, but the OCD in me wants to yank it down to make it symmetrical (which its not on purpose as part of the design risk).
The mom's dress.... Um....... I'll say it, it doesn't look very substantial at all. It looks very flimsy, especially around the neckline. BUT I do like the design of it and wonder if I might look like I have a waist if I wore it.
I do love the color scheme of these looks. They are appropriate for both ages. Jesse said he was inspired by Madeline, from the children's books:
"Help! I have 4 fingers on my right hand but only 2 on my left!
WINNER OF THIS CHALLENGE... SETH AARON!
Holy moly. I want both looks. BOTH! RIGHT NOW!
The hoodie on the child is adorsables and the jacket on the "mom" is to die for. DIE. FOR. This outfit makes me want to adopt a child for the day so we can be matchies. Squeee!
Seth Aaron has immunity for next week. Excellent job!!
Oh dear. The kid's dress is on track until he added the napkin down the front and Kors summed it up correctly when he said that the "mom" looks like she got caught up in a tornado of toilet paper. Nailed it!
I do have to applaud Jonathan though for pushing the envelope and taking a risk. I can see where he was headed, it just didn't make it. The kid's dress and the form of the mom's are both great. It's just the "napkin/toilet paper" aspect that comes in and ruins the whole thing. The kid also mentions the bolero jacket she's wearing is cutting into her armpit a bit. Okay, that's bad. I think he could have just forgone the jacket and the look would have been just fine. OR, skip the toilet paper on the mom's dress and give HER the bolero jacket. Yes?
I have to say, these are not my favorite outfits but LOOK HOW HAPPY the child and model look in them! For me, that saves the outfit completely. The bitchy guest judge doesn't think the colors match (!!!???) and everyone thinks the pants are a bit "clownish." (Tim Gunn warned Amy of that... but encouraged her to go with the risk.) If this was a skirt instead of pants, I think this look would have rocked. I like the colors together. I also LOVE the sweater on the kid's outfit. And I like the twist on the leggings. I do agree though that the child's outfit is fussed over too much and has too many components.
Here's where I think Tory Burch can just go suck an egg. She says in the snottiest way that the colors on these outfits don't match? OH yeah, Tory? But yet you sell this ugly bullshit on your site for hundreds of dollars?
HOLY THROW UP BAGS. This is the hottest mess of fugly I've seen in a long time. WHAT IS THIS? HOW DARE you yell at Amy. I'd wear her outfit over this ugliness any day. Also, Tory, this purse is NOT worth several hundred dollars:
This looks like birth control pills, right???
So suck it Tory Burch. You're a hypocrite. BOOOO!
And auf'd this week... JANEANE:
I knew she was going home from the start of the show as she got the "loser" soundbite slot and the "I miss my family, good thing I lose this week so I can see them soon" phone call. Ugh.
The judges think these outfits look like cheap discount mall outfits. HEY! My wardrobe resembles that remark! I think the ideas are good but Janeane isn't good enough to make these designs pop and stand out. I like her color scheme actually the top on the "mom" isn't bad. I think the kid's outft is very kid appropriate. But I do agree with the fact that she had $50 to spend on it and it looks like a $15 outfit. That aspect is where this outfit does indeed really fall short.
NEXT WEEK THEY GO TO A HARDWARE STORE!!! HAPPY FISTS!
We'll see who ends up like this... hehehehehhhhh.
Please join the fanpage dedicated to the show we love to hate, Project Runway.
Let's work together to make sure Season 8 doesn't have the dull string of episodes that Seasons 6 and 7 have. (This episode excluded!) Thanks for joining up!
It is with regret that I inform you of the following fact: I'd like a divorce.
I have been loyal to you from the start. I have happily watched and blogged... until now. Season 6 was poor, only to be compounded by a lack luster Season 7.
Seriously. Your show is terrible. And here's why:
Gone are the days of the grocery store challenge. Nowhere to be seen is a challenge where outfits are made out of flowers. Remember Barbie getting a new outfit? Matching dog and owner outfits that needed a "story" to go along with it? Wrestling outfits? The Hershey's challenge where candy became a lovely bodice? Or how about the opening challenge in Season 3 where they had to use only the materials found in their apartments? Or the challenge where they destroyed a car and made clothing and accessories out of that? REMEMBER PARIS?? In the past two seasons we get stunningly dull challenges like, "Make a blue outfit" or "make a red carpet dress." This is so dull that I would find it more interesting to watch Michael Kors pick out his (same) outfit for the day (year).
My opinion of why the show has rapidly gone down hill the past 2 seasons is that the new production team that came on after the Bravo/Lifetime debacle can't handle the load of such a "high end" show. No offense, Bunim Murray, but producing drunk kids on Real World to make out does not qualify you to be anywhere near Project Runway. (Magical Elves, I miss you!)
Please, Lifetime Television, PLEASE fix this show. Please change the regime. Please breathe some life back into this floundering program. Please give talented designers a reason to audition. Please let the producers "color outside of the lines" and make each show its own, instead of adhering to a tried and trite template that produces the same exact show each week. Be an innovator and follow Tim Gunn's advice that he often gives to designers, "Don't be afraid to take a risk!"
My routine of blogging whilst watching for the first time seems to work... so I'm running with it. But before I get started, I need to address something that's been burning a hole in my brain: Is it wrong that I don't miss watching this show on Thursday night (since I don't have cable/tv)? And is it bad that I no longer care if the show's outcome is spoiled? What's up with this season, ya'll? I just don't give a rat's patootie about it. I think last year what saved the show was that the designers and models were all over Twitter and Facebook and even though the producing of the show was AWFUL, I really felt something for the people because we had relationships outside of the show. (Not in a creepy way, people.) This season, there's hardly any chatter on FB or Twitter with the designers. And quite frankly, it's dull. It's really dull.
Sigh.. okay, rant over... let's start the show...
Oh my... we open with a shirtless Seth Aaron making coffee. Then Brown Sugar hits Jay with the Bible. (See what happens when you auf Jesus? SIN!! WOOOO! I mean, "How awful." Ahem...)
OH LOOKIE! The winner and loser have bites back to back at the top of the show. Brilliant. Just f'ing brilliant, Producers and Lifetime. You get a gold star is "stoopid." (STUFF LIKE THIS MAKES ME WANT TO JUST STOP WATCHING!)
Now Mila is bitching about how nobody is happy for her that she's in the top again. Listen, lady. A) It's a COMPETITION. B) You're kind of an a-hole about being in the top again. C) Get some freaking highlights.
On the runway... more cryptic crap from Heidi about what their challenge is, "It needs to be picture perfect." Cue the "wondering what that means" bites from the designers. Ugh.
Cut to Superman's ice palace. Oh wait, Hearst Corporation building.
Tim Gunn: "I assert that we are moving on up!"
Tim Gunn introduces the gang to Joanna Coles, Editor in Chief for Marie Claire:
Joanna: "Is your hand on my bum?"
Tim Gunn: "Yes. Yes it is."
Tim goes on to lie and tell the designers that THIS is the biggest challenge in PR history and the reward is unprecedented. OH BULLSHIT. How many times have we heard this THIS season already (and it's only episode 5)?? Lookit, Producers, unless they are designing a new look for the Statue of Liberty, IT IS NOT THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE. It's just not. It's a just a challenge. That's it. BAH!
CHALLENGE: Create a look to be worn by a celebrity on the cover of Marie Claire magazine.
Brown Sugar: "It's another fabric challenge, isn't it?"
Anna (wincing): "Yes."
Brown Sugar: "Son of a B!"
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABRIC! DAMMIT, PRODUCERS! One more week of fabric and I'm out. OUT!!!!
Tim explains that the issue will be for April of 2010, then Joanna chimes in with some "key rules" for the designers when designing for a cover:
* It's not just about the outfit - think about how the photo is cropped so don't waste your time putting detail on the bottom as nobody will see it.
* No black!
* We put words over your dress, so think about that.
* Think about the season the magazine is coming out in
* People chose magazines in 3 seconds so make it strong and eye catching
She then reveals that HEIDI KLUM is the celeb they will be dressing. Okay... this is all very lame to me on many levels.
1) Marie Claire helps sponsor Project Runway, so it's not a coup that they "landed" Marie Claire. It's like paper being sponsored by Xerox. Peanuts by Jiffy. And Jon Gosselin by Ed Hardy. Seriously.
2) Heidi Klum is part of the show! Get a model or celeb that we don't see! (No offense, Heidi.) WE NEED EYE CANDY and some pizazz! What's next? Dressing the production assistants for their coffee runs?? GET US SOMEBODY UNRELATED TO THE SHOW!
3) As a result, this is telling me that NOBODY else wants to be a part of Project Runway anymore. The judges have been very sub-par since B/M took over. It feels like the producers are calling in favors instead of casting high end talent. Which, again, tells me that nobody wants to be on this train wreck.
Back at Parsons... sketch sketch sketch for 30 minutes. Tim Gunn reiterates the challenge and lets them know that the production company is running out of money and they need to cut costs because they have only one day for the challenge. (I like to read between the lines, folks....)
The designers blandly babble about what they are going to do...
Off to Mood... $150 budget. WHAT THE FUDGE?! Are you serious???? OMG, I'm just sick. WHY did they get $500 for the "icon" challenge when that look went NOWHERE but for the Campbell's challenge last week where the winning dress is going to a Fashion Week gala and this dress is going on a magazine cover do they get CRAP for time and budget?? WHO IS IN CHARGE? WHO DO I NEED TO SLAP??
OMG. Soundbites to fill time about how "huge" this challenge is and how quiet the design room is. DULL. (Also, producers, when you give them more time, you get more chatter in the room for story telling.)
I really just want to skip to the end....
WOW! They have a new iron. WOW! Someone get me some f'ing heart medicine because I'm about to die from excitement...
6 hours until the end of their careers... I mean day.
THIS EPISODE HAS NO STORY. NO STORY. NONE. THIS is a problem. If The Jersey Shore can make a story, YOU can make a story.
People talking about their garments and who their competition is...
TIM GUNN ENTERS! Finally... some conversation.
He starts with Anthony... Anthony is a sad sack of sugar and has no idea really what his dress is going to look like.
"This worries me... if I still actually cared."
He warns Anthony to use his "editing eye" and really think about what he's putting on the dress. Anthony agrees. "Carry on!"
Next, Mila. He likes all her stripes and things. "Very signature Mila."
Next, Janeane. She describes how she wants stuff to look flowy and junk. Tim cautions, "This spewy stuff, is this really you?" Shouldn't they stretch their limits and take risks, Tim? I feel like this is a beat he's being given by the producers. But it makes no sense because in past seasons Tim was always telling them to take risks and think outside of their comfort zone, but then this season he's telling them this season to not color outside of the lines. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Bullshit. I call bullshit.
Dieter (Ben) is next. He tells Tim that the concept is Madame Butterfly on acid. (Battery acid?) Lots of color and a metallic belt. Tim worries the belt could cheapen it.
Anna. Sigh... Tim gets into the whole "Do you feel this is you?" crap with her. She feels it is her. Zzzzz.....
Emilio is doing a short cocktail dress. Zzzzz.
WOW. No story or character evolution in that segment. Bring in the models and let's hope they bring some drama. (Oh wait, Sophia is already gone. Crap.)
I am so bored right now.................................................................. NO STORY.
Anna is freaking out because the short shorts she made do not fit. Yikes. But I already knew this from her opening soundbite. (Foreshadowing...)
Nobody likes Mila just because. Yawn.
1 hour left....
Brown Sugar laments the lack of time on this challenge (amen) and comes up with the quote: "Life isn't fair, so why the hell should Project Runway be?" HA!
All the designers have disasters and are screwed on time... this sucks. I hate when people are set up to fail. I'd love to see the designers be able to succeed....
Commercial break... and we're back for Runway Day.
People are getting ready and Janeane and Anna are worried that they are the bottom 2. (Foreshadowing...)
Back to Parsons...Sew sew sew....
Anna is freaking out. Her shorts aren't really done. Mila is claiming victory. And we see NOTHING of Amy all episode - so now immunity means "no air time"?
Models come in... everybody gets ready and freaks out.
Michael Kors got his bleach mixed up with his color safe brand.
Okay, even though he dresses himself like a tool bag, Seth Aaron obviously has some skills. Now, I'm not saying that I would wear this Tin Man Suit, but look at how WELL its put together. And I can understand that somebody out there would want this and wear it. It's just not me. The only thing that really doesn't work for me are the matte orange shoes. BOOO. This look needed a metallic pop with a different color. The matte is just a dull heavy thud in the overall "wow" of the look.
Not-Cameron-Diaz wears this dress well! I actually do like this dress quite a bit. LOVE the basket weaving in the middle. Love the color. Good job, Jesse. Way to not suck!
SAFE?! WHAT? This is quite gorgeous. I'm guessing the neutral tone is why its safe as it would blend into a magazine cover background for sure. But GORGEOUS. (And it's the #1 dress on the auction site - $510!) And second behind it is another "safe" design...
This is second on the auction list with a current bid of $255. I like this look BUT it looks a lot like her potato sack dress design. So I'm wondering if she's a bit of a one-trick-pony. I'm also not into the fabric boob explosion.
Yick. He calls it a romper, I call it a disaster. It's like a super-hero outfit for an ice skater. No. BOOO. moving on...
WTH!? This looks like it doesn't fit her model at all, there's gapping, unevenness AND that color we saw before on your iconic look a few weeks earlier. You are lucky there is worse that this, lady, because this blows.
WHAT? I'm sorry. This is a mistake right? This should be in the bottom 2, yes???
Emilio used a silk jersey and Kors is so impressed how fitted it is. Sure, if Heidi were a freaking ice skater, yes, it's fitted and lovely. But for an everyday look, this looks like a CHEAP design and dress. HORRIBLE! Am I alone??
The judges continue to gush about this which confuses the crap out of me. Joanna believes this dress would beckon people grab the magazine. (Yeah, and throw it on the ground.) Nina loves the color and detail but that the whole thing looks a little "junior." So they make him CUT off the straps and take her hair down. Kors comments, "We've never done this before." (NOTE: Why does Emilio's dress get a "junior" comment and makeover and its all okay but a designer below in the bottom 2 does NOT?)
I like this! Ben tones down the description to Madame Butterfly meets Technicolor and that it's a kimono that functions like a dress. Kors believes it would work on a cover as it breaks through all the "noise" to catch your eye. Nina loves the colors as well and that the dress looks good in the front and the back. (You know, cuz they show the back of dresses on magazine covers ALL the time.) What you can't see is the peek-a-boo back he made. Heidi LOVES it. Joanna calls it a "real contender." YAY BEN! You did a good job!
WINNER... ANTHONY (aka BROWN SUGAR):
Yes, very pretty! Love the color. I couldn't wear it as I'd look like the Michelin Man, but Heidi, yes indeed.
Boy, Anthony is really selling this look well. He tells the judges that he really thought about Heidi, what she's worn previously and what she wears on the show. Smart! It's this thought that makes a good designer. His goals were clean lines and a feminine silhouette. Again, SMART!
Kors exclaims: "The costume drama is over! You entered modern times!" Anthony then claps like I did when I was 4 (or yesterday - shut up). Kors loves the shoulder design and calls it "new." Nina continues with loving the color. Heidi loves how slimming the dress is (which is important given that she will have given birth shortly before this photo shoot).
Overall - YAY ANTHONY! (But no immunity because the "prize is so big." MEH!)
BTW - it's really nice to see how excited all the other designers are for Anthony. (Unlike the snotty Mila...)
Kors says: "Let's be honest, the beige comes off like an Ace Bandage." BUWHAHAHAHAH! Yes. Yes it does. And Miss Ego is crushed. He continues, "And once you crop [her picture] she's basically in a jog bra with a v-neck." BWUWHAHAHAHAA. Amen!
Nina doesn't like that the arrows are highlighting the crotch area. Joanna says the color doesn't feel confident. (Is it crying??) Mila says that the fabric looked more peachy in her hands. Kors rolls his eyes and they move on...
YICK. Awful. All of it. The lame thing (bolero) on her shoulders, the color and the slip thingy hanging out. BOOOOO! (Poor Anna, I like her, but her skill set reminds me of Ping's... just not ready for this show.)
Poor Janeane babbles about being inspired by the ocean and the seashell lines in the detail of the dress. (Huh??? Ocean?? WHY?)
Kors calls the bolero seaweed and criticizes the dress for having too many seams. (Agreed!) He goes on to say its not a dress that you can put "cover lines" over on a magazine. It will get passed by. Heidi says its not fashion forward at all. Joanna doesn't see a sea unless its polluted. (HAHAHAHAA!) They all agree its too sweet. And Heidi is not sweet. MEOW!
Oh, the shorts. Hot mess. Like the blouse though. Hate the vest (but that's just on principle... I'm not a vest gal).
Nina brings up that this outfit would be on Heidi who has an incredible (pregnant) figure and that this outfit washes out all curves. Very true. This is a good top for ME, someone who has no curves. Joanna jumps in and says that its like she used three ingredients in a dish that would leave you slightly nauseas. Yeeks. But true. Kors rants about how she wasn't designing for a teen magazine. (TRUE! And that makes even more sense why I liked it! Cuz I'm a new old biddy who dresses age inappropriately!) He goes on to say that she totally missed what Marie Claire magazine is about (CLOTHES I CAN NOT AFFORD!), who their reader is (ME!) and who her model would be (ME! OH Heidi... shoot). Heidi says the garments are made well but she didn't push the envelope enough. (Direct contradiction to Tim Gunn's words earlier... oy.)
I honestly would have sent Janeane home over Anna. Anna at least knows how to sew. BUT, if I had my way, Anna would have been sent home over Jesus last week. Sigh...
Next week on Project Runway... KID MODELS! So that means we have another worthless episode of Models of the Runway not only coming up next, but on tap for next week. ANGRY FISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:
I'll admit it... I skipped right to the end. Janeane's model, Kasey, is out and Anna's model, Cerri, is in. Which doesn't matter since none of the girls are modeling in the next episode and will get cut for no good reason.
I usually say "Until next week, make it work," but I think we all know it's just bullshit at this point. BS!!!
So. The remaining designers from Thursday night's show ALL showed collections at Bryant Park for Fashion Week this past Friday. LAAAAAAAAAAAME! But one designer is missing from the bunch... my beloved Maya! Sigh... So obviously she gets kicked out before Bryant Park and didn't want to waste her time putting together a show that "doesn't count." I know that if I were in that position it would be hard because I need to work for a living. You can't pay you rent with smiles. I've tried.
SO CLICK HERE to go to my friend's at Blogging Project Runway to see all 10 designers final lines. Remember, we still don't know who the final 4 are... (except guessing from Maya's absence that she's not one of the finalists - BOOOOOOOOO!) so at least we still have that surprise going for us, yes?
I will try to blog today about Thursday's episode today. I have a sick doggie though. So I can't make any promises.
Happy Valentine's Day! EAT CANDY! Oh and tell someone you love them. Whatevers.
Okay... I'm doing this like I did the last episode of PR. Haven't watched it yet and will blog while watching the episode on the Lifetime website.
Here we go!
"Moments before..." Okay - I hate this. I just saw the elimination, WHY do I need to see it again? This works if MOTR was on a different night than PR but when they are back to back, it's like watching a re-run of the (boring) crap I already just saw. This element of MOTR needs cleaning up. It pisses me off each week. (Oh sure, not hard to do...) Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...
Poor Britney. Jesus is kicked out of the party and she may join him even though she didn't DO ANYTHING wrong since they weren't even on the runway this week. THIS element of MOTR also bothers the living snot outta me. (Visual, yes??) HOW is it a competition if you don't compete? It's like having all the Olympians gather and they just pull names out of a hat for who gets the medals. GRRR!
Opening credits.... Heidi looks HORRIBLE on that dress. What's with the one boob flap?
Amy walks into the models' room and gets a hug from her model and all the other models who feel the need to kiss up to her. It's a little transparent, girls. Just saying. Little gross. Then Jesus floats in a cloud and Brittany gives him a hug. Then all the models pig-pile on and hug him too. Everybody is crying. My goodness.... this is a lot of emotion for just a few days of bonding! Brittany tells Jesus she loves him and there's more emotion and hugs...
I need to talk about a pet peeve: HOW do these people love each other after knowing each other for just a few days. PLEASE. Love is a lovely thing (HAHAH! PUN!) however, save it for when you MEAN IT. It's like Steve Carell's character in Anchorman, "I love lamp!" If you love everything and everybody, it has no power and zero meaning. It becomes an empty phrase. Save the love, girls. Take it from this biddy. She knows. (Oh dear, I'm talking in third person...)
Oh goodie - now Heidi gets to ask them empty questions since they didn't "compete" this week. Amy's model, who's name zipped past me and Lifetime's media player is being fussy, says that she thinks she's Amy's lucky charm. Then Cerri, who is Irish, says that Amy stole her lucky charms. HAHAHAHA! Irish humor. (I just found out a few weeks ago that I'm way more Irish than originally thought, so I'm trying to bond with "me people of green." Yes?)
Hmmm. Bad story producing here, folks. There have been numerous mentions of "did you have fun with the ladies?" but as viewers, we've not seen the models or the ladies in the same room yet. ALL those references should go AFTER Heidi tells us, "So you had the opportunity to coach the ladies how to walk." See? It's like hearing "Red Riding hood got eaten," (TEE HEE!) before knowing that there's a wolf in the story. SEE? Details like that help. AND PS - last season the girls taught the ladies how to walk so this is now a repeat-beat. I saw this LAST SEASON. (WOW. I am biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitchy today. MEOW!)
Zzzzzzzzz........................... wake me when it gets interesting. (You know, when they get a new producing company. I SAID IT.)
WAIT. WHAT? Did Heidi just say, "Do you want to spend more time with them? I thought it would be fun to exercise with them a little bit." OH YEAH. Good job. That's what every "regular sized" woman wants. To exercise with someone who weighs the same as my left leg. And as a viewer I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THIS! It doesn't let me see anything new about the girls, it doesn't advance story or plot or ANYTHING. It's merely filling time. PLUS: I am eating peanut butter with a spoon right now and do NOT need to be reminded as to what a slothy hag I have become! (Okay, this is a me problem....) But, am I alone here? Do you want to see everybody work out? Isn't that what "Biggest Loser" is for?
YAY for Amy's model, Kasey, being like: "WTF. Elimination is going to be totally unfair this week." BINGO.
Commercial break... and we're back!
Time to exercise. They are meeting Heidi's trainer, David Kirsch and the ladies. Off they go! (RIVETING television, ya'll. Riveting.)
They all meet in the park (so they can have an audience - awesome) and David says he'll teach them to squat and give them perky butts. (All of that sounds like personal problems to me...)
They are working out... this is seriously so boring that it's hard to not just want to click this program off and go stare at some paint drying...
Oh how nice - David is proud to be there with them. (WHY? Did they overcome some great obstacle to be there other than the subway?!? Yes, heart disease, but seriously, this is just produced and lame....) Okay, now they are all sitting down and talking. OMG - these ladies tell their heart-trauma stories and these are amazing stories but this just ISN'T the venue for these stories. AND OMG. O-M-G! You can't go from the models gushing about how they are going to live better lives and take life more seriously et al and then fade to them going to get their nails done. BUNIM MURRAY. Do you even THINK about story????? GRRRR!
Okay, in the nail place... OH dear. Oddly prodded question from Alexis (who has been pointed out by a friend of mine that she looks like an evil Cameron Diaz - true!) about "Do you think Sara is going home?" Okay, first of all... WHY? Brittany's designer went home, shouldn't you be worried about Brittany? And it's out of nowhere because its PRODUCED. Honestly... I hate this show!
Not-Cameron-Diaz goes on to say that Sara's been in the bottom two and that maybe they knew why she was. (Ooooh boy, girl couldn't remember what the producer told her to say, because you can tell she doesn't mean a word of it.)
Great... more empty talk about "who is going home?" UGH.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......................
Commercial break... and back for elimination time. THANK GOODNESS. Although I just want to bust through to the end to find out... why is this a 10 minute segment????
Okay - models come out in their "Centerfold" slips... prizes are listed... YAWN.
Oooo... designers are picking different models... okay, that's interesting.... ish. Emilio rescues Brittany so she's not going home and I am going to SCREAM if Kasey goes home. She's my fave so far.... AND PHEW. Safe. Thanks, Janeane! But now Sara goes home... FOR NO REASON. PISSED FISTS!
This was a really empty episode, peeps. HORRIBLE. This show really should just be a 5 minute webisode online. It would drive up internet traffic for sure. Ugh. MOTR = epic fail.
Next week... a surprise photo shoot! Everybody thinks Alexis is a bitch. And Tim Gunn gets caught with his suit down in a steamy love triangle! No... but wouldn't that make it worth watching???
This blog is written by a complete fussbudget named Jennifer (Eolin).
She has been wearing the same hoodie for 5 days in a row.
Right now her idea of fashion is clean underwear.
Last week on Project Runway...
Teams of 2,
Ping and Jesse,
oh so messy.
Mila for the win,
and the auf for Pin(g).
Maya's was best,
But Kors is a pest,
cuz he loves a good jacket.
WHICH IS A COMPLETE F-ING RACKET!
And on Models of the Runway,
Sourpuss got sent away.
Oh Sophia, Sophia, Sophia.
I wouldn't want to be ya...
SO here's the situation... I've not watched the show yet. I'm going to watch on mylifetime.com and blog while I watch? Yes? (You really have no choice in the matter. I'm not sure why I asked like you could say 'no' and that would change things.)
Okay - here we go! (I press "play" and then have to adjust the volume because it is TOO LOUD. Oh my biddy ears and I've scared the kibble out of Matilda.....)
Last week on PR... yada yada yada... OMG! How original! We start in the apartments with everyone getting ready! What a new and different way to start the show! Boo. Anna is glad Ping is gone, as we all are. Well said and no crap. Now over in the men's apartment... and yes, there it is. Jesus' "I'm going home but I think I can still win this" soundbite slot. Okay. Good job, Bumin Murray. I should just jump straight to the end and save myself the time. Right? Grrr....
Over in the Logan/Baconless Kitchen, poor Jesse has to prove to the judges this week that he isn't a wingnut like Ping was and that last episode's disaster was indeed NOT at all his fault. OH AND THEN HE GIVES A WINK TO CAMERA! Oh hi, there, Jesse. Aren't you fine in your aqua shirt and yellow pants? (REALLY? YELLOW PANTS?) Oh well. You had me at the wink, lost me at the pants. (Tee hee!) Can't win them all.
Maya and Mila are getting ready together. I wonder if they borrowed the same black shoe polish to color their hair? I KID! Sorta. Get some highlights! Stop looking all "daughter from Beetlejuice" goth. Wear some damn color already!
On the runway, Heidi is wearing her best "Bam Bam" dress (if Bam Bam from The Flintstones wore dresses) and tells the designers that she has ZERO useful information for them and sends them on their way. Booooring..........
The designers meet Tim Gunn in the back room to get their challenge. He delightfully introduces them to Lisa Walker, VP of Innovation for Campbell's soup. (A soup company has an innovation department? Really?? Is their department motto: "More noodles!") Tim tells the designers that they'll be designing the signature dress for The American Heart Association's Go Red for Women program. They will be provided with Campbell's branded fabric. (Yick?) The dress MUST BE RED and the winning dress be worn at the gala during Fashion Week and the winning designer will accompany their muse.
Okay, okay - not a bad challenge. It makes sense with fashion week coming up and Valentine's day and all that bullshit. (I said it!) BUT it's episode 4 and they are making more dresses out of fabric. I'm just saying. We had all fabric last season (except for the newspaper challenge) and the burlap bag challenge was still technically fabric! C'mon! Ring Dings, lima beans and moth balls, GO!
Heeey! I'd make a nice hat, ya'll!
Tim tells the designers next that they will be designing for a very inspiring group of women. Cue the insecure entrance of these"inspiring" women. Lookit. You (read: PRODUCERS) are building these women up for an entrance they can't make. SO - reveal them, have the designers walk in and meet them. SOMETHING. And how about an awesome bit of music for them to enter too? THAT WAS THE LAMEST MUSIC CUE I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. Damnit! Having them shyly enter the room really sucks the energy out of the show. K? BAH!
(WOW. I've got my Bossy Boots on and apparently I'm wearing my Notes Neckerchief. I have opinions!)
OH look, Amy has a bite about how excited she is. Money on her dress winning. (BUNIM MURRAY FOR SHAME!)
Tim continues (WOW this is a lot of set-up and talking) that the winning design will go into limited production and sold to benefit the American Heart Association.
Clapping as a group has become a tired element of Project Runway.
Perhaps fist pumps for Season 8?
And now in a soundbite, Mila tells us that their models (aka "inspiring ladies") have been assigned to them.
Tim Gunn: "HAHAHAHAA! You're all screwed! All of you!"
Mila goes on to say that working with these ladies makes her nervous but she's excited to work with a "real woman." (Hey! Models are real women! There's just less to them...)
We find out that all these women have suffered from heart disease. It's hard to believe that all these women have such a horrible disease - they all look so vibrant and healthy! (YAY FOR THEM!) They tell their stories to their designers and it's awesome to hear about all they've SURVIVED. They focus on the positive and keep moving on - love it! (PS... for more info on the American Heart Association, please click here.)
They take 20 to sketch and then its off to Mood with a $100 budget!
Emilio: "Did Janeane really just run by yelling, 'I have to get my boning'?"
Guy: "Yes. Yes she did."
Emilio: "I am NOT volunteering for that."
Guy: "...I will. It's been a slow month."
Seth Aaron's look originally wore this look at the Rainbow Room circa 1988.
Fact: It's not old enough to be a vintage look in 2010.
Fact: Seriously dude. The 80's are long gone. Just get over it.
THANK YOU MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Back at Parsons...
Tim drops the bomb that it's a one-day challenge. Ugh. Really? (Boy I've said "really" a lot in this blog...) I would think that the producers might give them 2 days so they can design/create something amazing since the winning look is going to Fashion Week! Wouldn't you want the designers to have the best chance of doing something SO AMAZING that it advertises the show as being good??? I don't get it. Am I alone here? (Probably...)
Seth says this is the hardest challenge because models are size 4 or 6 (IN WHAT WORLD SETH?!?! THE 80's???) and he can make those clothes with his eyes closed. So this-- the "real size woman" challenge-- is hard for him. HERE IS MY QUESTION: Did none of these designers (past and present seasons being addressed as every season has THIS EXACT comment) ever design/sew an outfit for a friend who isn't a model? Most people aren't size 0 and 2 (or 4 or 6) and they still need clothes. Maybe if the fashion industry would stop designing for tree branch sized women, clothes would look better on everybody. Because I'm a size 4 and BELIEVE YOU ME there are things I can't even wear which is--say it with me-- BULLSHIT! If it only looks good on a size 0, you haven't done your job as a designer.
Seth Aaron and his model "hug it out."
Okay... rant over... moving on....
Lots of sewing happening here... blab blab blab... OH! Jesse's model's name is Jennifer. Oh my! I'm flattered! ;)
"Don't get any ideas, Jennifer (Eolin).
I'm even younger than Logan."
OH... here we go. Now I know that Jesus is going home because Jesus' life story comes out. We ONLY hear about their past when they are being cut. I hate this. (They do this on Models of the Runway too.) And odd that he leaves the bit about being a carpenter out. I KID! God. Calm down. Literally.
Okay... Emilio's soundbite about how now life is different after having met these women. HAVE YOU NEVER MET SOMEONE WHO HAD AN ILLNESS BEFORE?! Holy crap, I know (sadly) tons of people with illnesses and many who didn't make it through their illness and died WAY too young. I get that what he's saying is sincere, but it feels produced because unless Emilio lives in a BioDome, you've met someone with a horrible illness. I blame the producers on this trite story beat. BOOOO.
4 hours remaining...
Sew sew sew...
OH MY. Well I didn't see that coming. Apparently neither did Janeane. There's a bucket of water next to the ironing board and she dips her dress in it. Questions:
1) WHY THE F IS THERE A BUCKET OF WATER IN THE ROOM?
2) WHY THE F IS IT NEXT TO THE IRONING BOARD?
3) DOES ANYBODY KNOW IF THE STEAMER THAT "RUINED" JOHNNY'S DRESS LAST SEASON HAS AN ALIBI?
And seriously WHAT? NO CRYING? Lame... There's even a bucket for your tears!
Janeane: "I'm not going to cry over this."
Model: "No need. I'll do it for you."
YAY! TIM GUNN TIME!
He starts with Jesse...
OH dear. Basically Jesse says: "She's fat so short of a girdle, I'm doing everything in my power to make her skinny." Booooo. Tim tells him, "Without that jacket, I don't think you have much in terms of fashion." Jesse jokes with him, "Stop telling me that!" To wit, Tim exclaims, "It's true!"
Next up... Anna!
Anna says something similar to Jesse (ugh) but then gets Tim's attention with the print graphic she's done on the chiffon (yes, chiffon?) that says "Campbell's" - it's very subtle and Tim seems surprised that he likes it and anything coming out of her mouth.
Tim likes the stars she's wrapping around the dress (I'm saving judgement for when it walks the runway). He asks how it looks on her and she says: "She's a really tough fit." BLARGH! THANK GOODNESS Tim shuts her down, "Frankly, I'm GLAD we have the opportunity to to work with real women for just this reason." Bango!
He tells Tim that his model wanted something fitted that shows cleavage to which Tim says: "You've done both!" HA! Tim then asks if she actually fits into the dress. Jesus assures Tim she does.
One of my faves is next ... Maya!
She's making a great dress that has a sweetheart neckline that sweeps into a heart - very pretty! She wants to make a handbag with the Campbell's logo fabric but doesn't know if she'll have time. Tim urges her to make it. I DO TOO! I'd carry it! (I love goofy fabric on purses. I'm an old biddy that way...)
My next fave, Amy is next...
Amy explains that she wants to make sure the dress fits her model well AND makes the model happy. She's highlighting her model's neck since there's a scar there that her model used to hide but is now proud of. ROCK IT. Of course you win. What a great aspect to the dress! (Plus Amy can sew and shizz.)
Next... Seth Aaron
Tim: "Seth Aaron, when did you go Greecian on us?" Seth Aaron says: "2 hours ago." (I really wished he had said, "I'm going to make her walk like an Egyptian." Even though it would have made zero sense, it would have delighted me.) Tim tells him that he likes it but its very unexpected coming from him. Tim urges SA to not lose who he is as a designer. (Meaning: "Add a red bandana or a red zipper!")
2 1/2 hours remaining...
Sew sew sew...
Seth Aaron starts his dress over basically based on Tim Gunn's words. Emilo expresses concern for Anna's and Jay's train wrecks. He points out nobody is done and everyone is in bad shape. WHY WEREN'T THEY GIVEN TWO DAYS?!? GRRRR!
Midnight! Time to get in your (disco) pumpkin carriage...
HAHHAHAHAAA! OH man. Anthony (aka Brown Sugar) is HILARIOUS. He's saying that these poor women - not only have they survived heart disease, NOW they have to survive Nina and Michael Kors. BUWHAHAHAHHAA! Oh man. So true. So true.
In the workroom panic ensues. I really feel badly for these designers. They just didn't have enough time to really do what they wanted and I feel badly for the models. They should be given amazing gowns! Not just fabric that's been hastily sewn. (Who wants to make a bet that had Ping been here she would have nailed some sort of draped outfit?)
Nothing is really happening here... just sewing. Seth Aaron is going from Greecian to retro with his dress. Which may work. BUT THE OUTFIT HOMEBOY IS WEARING NOW DOES NOT:
"I am so badass in plaid."
SETH AARON. What are you? Goth Howdy Doody?
Howdy Doody: "Say, designers! What time is it?
It's Seth Aaron's a complete tool time!"
Sewing sewing sewing...
Emilio calls Mila's dress a "flag for Thanksgiving." WOW. Stop with the fat jokes, Emilio. We get it. You're a size-ist. Got it. Moving on.
Seth Aaron is impressed with himself for pulling his model's dress out of his ass. There's a fun image!
OH Jesus is confident. That's good, because you're about to have a hell of a time.
Sewing sewing sewing...
Hey! There was a shot of Ben! I forgot he was still in the show!
Ben: "I'm still here. I'm just safe this episode so nobody cares about me."
OMG - what is Ben wearing for the runway show???
Ben: "I'm bringing bow ties back."
Speechless. I'm just speechless. Is it just me or is this the WORST dressed group of designers ever??? Bring back Uli! Bring back Laura! Bring back Carol Hannah!! Louise! WHERE IS AUSTIN SCARLETT WHEN YOU NEED HIM??!?!
Heidi introduces the judges: Kors, Nina and Georgina Chapman, Designer and Co-Founder of Marchesa.
Georgina: "What happened to the Campbell's lady?"
Kors: "Ew. Really? She deals in soup. Not fashion."
Georgina: "Says the man wearing the same outfit since 2002."
Kors: "NOT TRUE. I wore white pants a few weeks back."
Georgina: "My mistake. You're a fashion maverick."
Meh? Her top looks like an artichoke. This is not a good look for any woman's boob area. Not a fan of this look. Sorry. It's a miss.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. WTF? THIS IS HIDEOUS. It looks like the tissues she stuffed her bra with are coming out at the top and that her slip is showing at the bottom. BOOOO! BAD! WHY IS THIS SAFE?!?! HORRIBLE! MILK MAID ON CRACK! AHHHH!
Not as bad as the ones above but I don't think the red and maroon match. The deep red is pretty but it clashes with the "Campbell's" brand color. But it's a much better design than the disasters above it. Again, I think if they had more time... or is it talent? (BAM. Remember folks, I can barely sew a button so my opinions are based on absolutely no abilities! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!)
YOU GO WITH YOUR BADSELF, HOWDY DOODY! I do love this dress. First of all, his model is all but lit up in her eyes like the Rockefeller Square Christmas Tree. RADIANT. Truly radiant. AND Seth Aaron, in my opinion, nailed a design that works for ANY SIZE. I would absolutely wear this. GOOD JOB!!!
Well, he didn't reinvent the wheel with this dress but I LOVE LOVE LOVE the fabric. Love the polka dots sewn into it. Love the sexiness. But the pattern is a bit trite. Then again, they only had one day.
WOW. The slit is super sexy! When she walked down the runway, MAN. Even I sat up and took notice and I could care less about other women's legs. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...) I don't dig the top part of the dress or the Wonder Woman belt, but KUDOS on going there with the slit. RISKY in that awesome good way.
I'm not sure... I think an a-line would have looked better with the jacket. I like how he used the Campbell's soup fabric and think its adorable. But is it the skirt or the jacket that's throwing me off? Maybe it's the jacket.... Yes. The jacket. Should have gone with a capelet (spelling?) or something like that. Booo to the jacket. Phew, glad I figured that out! (As are you, I'm sure...)
I like this! I really think Maya is going to Fashion Week. It's where my money is. I love the thought that she put into this and she made shiny fabric work whereas a lot of designers did not. The only thing clunky to me is the hem on the bottom. But that could be the photograph. Who knows...
Heidi loves that the dress is actually designed. (Agreed!) Nina sees the "heart" inspiration in the top of the dress and appreciates the effort she put into it. And the judges (AS DO I!) love the Campbell's clutch! SQUEEE! Adorable!
I like this! I would never wear it, but I like it and think it absolutely fit the challenge. The judges love how fun the dress is and Heidi and Kors agree that the model rocked it down the runway and really pulled this look off very well. YAY! (I know how hard it is on that runway... yeeeps.)
WOW. Yes. Winner. LOOK AT THE MODEL'S FACE. She is GLOWING. The dress moves so nicely with her and it looks comfortable to wear to a gala. HOORAY!
The judges are obviously in love with it. It's sophisticated, it moves beautifully and it's designed well. Kors loved that it was elegant but modern and then gave a classy "thumbs up."
Hmmmm. First: WHO OKAYED THIS PICTURE FOR THE INTERWEB? Give the girl a break. I'm sure there was a frame where she didn't have that look on her face. FOR SHAME, PRODUCERS! This woman did you a favor by doing the show, do her a favor and let her look pretty, k?
Okay, back to the dress. Granted, this is not great. I like the waist on this - very slimming and chic. (And HAHAA! A pocket square... the Queer Eye gang would be so proud!) But for real... Janeane's is WAY WORSE. At least from my perspective watching it on my laptop computer screen. Again, maybe in person things are way different - the judges can feel the vibe and see details that I can't. BUT I DO NOT GET WHY JANEANE'S WAS SAFE AND THIS IS NOT. BOOO.
Heidi says the dress is sweet but doesn't stand out enough. Agreed. Which should make it SAFE. Kors continues with that he thinks its a little costume-like and like she should have a majorette's baton. OUCH. I still think it's better than Janeane's odd milk maid thing.
Nina doesn't think that his use of the brand was that creative. THIS is true. A pocket square pinned to look like a flower? Not inventive.
Georgina doesn't like the white waist, but I honestly love it! I think its a smart pop of color and the sash lays very flat on the model and well, it cinches her perfectly! Nina then says she loves the shape of the neckline and how it frames her face. Kors tells Jesse that had he used a different fabric, something not so shiny, he would have been better off. Savvy?
HOLY MOLY THIS IS A HIDEOUS TRAIN WRECK. Ugly. All of it. Especially that white fabric. Do you know what it looks like to me? Like the model got a bad tan and her tan lines don't match the dress's cut. Seriously. GROSS.
(And I see NO Campbell's logo fabric ANYWHERE!)
Nina points out that a racer-back dress is not pretty. BOY HOWDY, it sure isn't unless you're a size 0. It's the most unforgiving for any amount of back fat (BOY do I know). Kors doesn't like how the cut makes her look broad on top. Georgina says that it's just simply not an evening dress. TRUE! THIS IS ALL TRUE! And yet... she and Janeane make it to next week...
Okay. I'm gonna say it. The problem with this look is that it makes the model look like a strung out hooker in Vegas. HOWEVER... it's got WAY MORE invention than JANEANE'S F-ING MILK MAID DISASTERn OR ANNA'S UGLY TAN LINE DRESS. BAH! (Perhaps had her hair been styled in an up-do? With it down and her worn out look on her face, she just looks beat up...)
However... the judges LOATHE this dress. Kors says: "You took a checklist of everything that could turn tacky and combined it into one garment. Tight red satin, that short, PLUS the built in straps." Georgina tells Jesus that it's just too many elements. Maybe take off the rhinestones and help the "eye" know where to go when looking at the dress as it'll be less busy. Heidi tells him he has good construction skills but isn't so sure about his taste. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO YELL ABOUT JANEANE'S MILK MAID CRAP BAG??? That is not a tasteful look at ALL! Given the choice between Jesus', Janeane's or Anna's, I'd wear Jesus' in a HEARTBEAT. (No pun intended...) PISSED FISTS!
So off Jesus goes into the great beyond. (Again, no pun intended...) I think his auf'ing was WRONG. I think there were bigger problems than him... but he's been in the bottom a lot so I think the judges made the decision that it's time for him to move along. (Even though I thought he got boned on the burlap challenge too - it looked GOOD! But "not enough burlap." Blah blah blah. These are obviously not Judges for Jesus. I kid! Seriously...)
Okay... that's it for now... I'll update this post with Models of the Runway later on... so make sure to check back. AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE CHATTER IN THE COMMENTS! I love the talk so much. Keep it up! You make this biddy very happy!