tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53898371685681910942024-03-05T13:48:06.229-05:00Jennifer Eolin (aka The New Old Biddy)The thoughts and work of Jennifer Eolin... comedian, actor and general all around weirdo.Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.comBlogger185125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-5428433690380757342015-11-12T22:25:00.003-05:002015-11-12T22:25:54.952-05:00I Could Have Been the Next Steve JobsI'm grumpy. I'll try to narrow the field of this vast and often felt emotion...<div>
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Today's dissatisfaction is due to technology. But to be fair, I've always found technology a touch disappointing. For instance, when I was a kid I thought our family was poor because we had to use a CAR to drive to New Jersey instead of simply 'beaming' ourselves there while a nice Scottish man pushed buttons. I'm not kidding. This was my thought process. And even though none of my other friends had a beaming device, I still thought we should have one. </div>
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I have never publicly announced this but I feel like now is the time to go on record as letting you know that it was actually ME who invented the answering machine. Let me explain...</div>
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In the early 80s, a friend and I realized that it would be great to be able to leave a message so you wouldn't have to continually call (aka "stalk" as it's now called) a friend to catch them when they're home. So we drew up a crude drawing of what we thought an answering machine would look like. There was a speaker, volume knob, as well as a group of other buttons that would obviously be what controlled the playback of our new device. We took this diagram and mailed it to the phone book company (as we thought THAT was the heart of the phone industry). We were SURE that we would hear back in just a few days because our idea was just that revolutionary. Also, we included BOTH of our home phone numbers, you know, in case one of us was not home because 5th grade.</div>
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Fast forward to 3 months later and I'm in Radio Shack with my parents and OH MY GOD IT'S AN ANSWERING MACHINE. It was right there in front of me. <i>Exactly as we had drawn it.</i> It was even the same color brown as the crayon we used. It was all I could do not to burst into tears and throw blank 8-track tapes at everyone around me. (I should note that it was at that moment that I knew life would be one big screw-over. I was 11.)</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is like EXACTLY what my friend and I drew. <br />Damn you for stealing my dreams, Pennsylvania Bell!</td></tr>
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So there you have it. You can (and should) thank me for the answering machine. I'm sure that had my genius been nurtured instead of stolen, I'd have gone on to invent other amazing things like GPS, automatic can openers, and laser discs. YOUR LOSS, WORLD. Your loss.</div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-18821514112611150942015-11-03T21:34:00.003-05:002015-11-03T21:34:55.120-05:00I had a lot of things to say.......but then my mind went blank. All the thoughts I had during the day about "wow, that would be really great to write about," are dead. How did they die?<br />
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Oh right. "The Voice." (Spoiler: Not the TV show. Although that can be annoying too.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Except for me, right, Jennifer? I mean look at me. My tatoo. My vest. Look into my swarthy eyes. Don't resist. And don't forget to watch The Voice, sometime during the week on television only on Fox. I think."</td></tr>
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I had this idea the other day to write about the umbrella that I've had for just about 10 years finally dying. But then a voice in my head said, "Nah, dumb."<br />
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I had another idea about reviewing all the new restaurants I've been to in the past few months. "Meh, who cares?"<br />
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I had another idea about using photos I find on the web to illustrate what a migraine feels like, "Yeah, yeah, you're a victim. Pffffft."<br />
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I had another idea....... no wait.... I stopped having ideas.<br />
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So here's my blog. About how I'm stumped about what to write about because I'm getting in my own damn way. So I'm just writing this. So I can say I wrote. I'm not going to copy-edit this or think too hard about it. This just is what it is. A big pile of words. Some of them make sense. Most don't.<br />
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And now a photo of a pig in leaves for no good reason other than when I Google "pig in leaves" this is the first photo that shows up. Enjoy.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Oink oink, my good man!"<br />
(photo credit:<span style="background-color: white;"> <span class="irc_ho" dir="ltr" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.2); cursor: pointer; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; margin-right: -2px; overflow: hidden; padding-right: 2px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;"><a class="irc_hl irc_hol i3724" data-noload="" data-ved="0CAYQjB1qFQoTCLC2i4rc9cgCFcjzPgodysgARQ" href="http://www.kimballstock.com/results.asp?image=PIG%2002%20LS0054%2001" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.2); cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;">www.kimballstock.com</a>)</span></span></td></tr>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-57917105594534756372015-11-01T18:59:00.001-05:002015-11-01T18:59:30.485-05:00Daily Burn Reminds Me I'm LazyIn my 20s I could eat anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, and I never put on a pound. This is not a joke, nor is it bragging (or a medical condition - stop worrying). If you don't believe me, you can ask any of my theatre peeps who watched me on countless nights snarf down large plates of greasy diner bacon followed by voluptuous pieces of chocolate cake damn near the size of my head. And then the next day I'd be be like, 'Hey my pants are too big. Weird!' I know.... I know... I was THAT asshole.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I would like to acknowledge that my head is larger than this photo. Shut up, it is.<br />
(photo credit: <a href="http://purplefoodie.com/">purplefoodie.com</a>)</td></tr>
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In my 30s I put on 10 pounds in the span of an evening. I went to bed at 29, woke up at 30 and BLAM, all that cake caught up with me. (Mostly in my middle in the form of a muffin top, which I at least found poetic.)<br />
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10 years later at 39, I went to bed and woke up at 40 and BLAM... my metabolism was actually sitting on the end of the bed, packed and ready to go. It said to me what all the men I date say, "Peace out, babe. I'm done. There's a 20-something over there with my name on her." (...Insert sad trombone noise here...)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My photo on Tinder after 40.<br />
(Photo credit: <a href="http://sabrinascrossing.blogspot.com/">sabrinascrossing.blogspot.com</a>)</td></tr>
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Now I should clarify -- I am/was by no means fat. I just wasn't in good shape or at all strong. I was just walking foie gras. Soft and tasty! Wait... that's a different blog. Ahem.... cough.</div>
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So this past August (age 42) I realized that I gotta get my shit together and work out. I've avoided it long enough. I'd recently seen the ads for <a href="http://dailyburn.com/" target="_blank">DailyBurn</a> and it appealed to me. I hated the gym, I'm (always) on a budget, and I finally have an apartment big enough to do a jumping jack in... I signed up.</div>
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The first workout I did with them was part of their "True Beginner" program and it KICKED my ass. KICKED. MY. ASS. I was a wreck after my first workout. My thighs burned. My arms ached. My everything hurt. I hobbled around for a few days afterwards before even daring to do the next workout.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"At least I'm cute so you have something to look at while you cry and throw up."<br />(Photo Credit: Justin Ruben, True Beginner trainer, <a href="http://dailyburn.com/" target="_blank">DailyBurn.com</a>)</td></tr>
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But here I am several months later and I gotta say, I look great:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXwtyAmNzGMzHVmac52T5lzP7rE3La_GAlFLabgLWVFVeZzJds5DJBvEpbRJXqVfSjQWyqgg7ZTLkPU0tVITMFw2ffixYY27beEwldr8Ad57CPg3AyQK6tVSxa6JHAftFQq-XXVAQPLDk/s1600/exercising-woman-in-wheelchair-350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXwtyAmNzGMzHVmac52T5lzP7rE3La_GAlFLabgLWVFVeZzJds5DJBvEpbRJXqVfSjQWyqgg7ZTLkPU0tVITMFw2ffixYY27beEwldr8Ad57CPg3AyQK6tVSxa6JHAftFQq-XXVAQPLDk/s320/exercising-woman-in-wheelchair-350.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My profile photo on Our Time.<br />
(photo credit: They most likely don't want to be associated with this inane post...)</td></tr>
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I'm much more fit now. I can open jars and my arms have a shape other than "lump." As a result, I've moved on from True Beginner to Cardio Sculpt, so again I'm going through the "OMG, I can't walk," and for none of the "fun" reasons.<br />
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I still struggle with the urge to just sit down and watch Hulu/Netflix until bed time when I get home from work. (I mean, Gotham is soooo good this year, right?) But I try to hit DailyBurn at least 2-3 times a week.<br />
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I do long for the days of plates of bacon and chocolate cake for dinner. But I guess this is worth it. I should be completely kick-ass by 43. And 44. And 45 + infinity!<br />
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Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to eat my "gluten free Indian Aloo Mattar wrap" and then do my "Lean Abs" workout. Then I'm going to stretch (aka lie down) and reflect (aka cry) while my dog smothers me with love (aka judgement).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's funny, cuz it's true.</td></tr>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-67097488498407682015-10-31T19:31:00.002-04:002015-10-31T19:32:07.145-04:00Things I Will Not Apologize For....<div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Henry A. Kissinger</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Recently writer <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/people/alexandra-petri" target="_blank">Washington Post blog author, Alexandra Petri</a>, wrote an article titled, <i><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/10/13/jennifer-lawrence-has-a-point-famous-quotes-the-way-a-woman-would-have-to-say-them-during-a-meeting/?tid=sm_fb" target="_blank">Famous Quotes, the Way A Woman Would Have to Say Them in a Meeting</a></i>. (Read it, I'll wait...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">While hilarious, this article is also incredibly sad due to its spot on accuracy: Women apologize. For everything. All the time. (I'm sorry, was that too harsh? I totally mean that <i>some</i> women apologize, certainly not you ever. Only some! The weak few, of which you are not! You are amazing and I'm a big stupid nothing! <i>I'm so sorry for breathing your air!!</i>)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've decided in the spirit of Petri's article to blog a list of things I absolutely have apologized for in the past. As of now, no apologies. Not now or ever. You can't make me. RAWR.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I will not apologize for....</b></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...wanting to be in a relationship.</b> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...taking copious pictures of my dog in the same exact position every day.</b> (<a href="http://iconosquare.com/tag/maggieandlady" target="_blank">#MaggieAndLady</a> on Instagram, people!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...speaking confidently. </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...having opinions.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...having an autoimmune disease.</b> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...not believing in God. </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...supporting and using Planned Parenthood.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...not knowing something that isn't in my area of expertise.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...aging.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...not digging Halloween.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...listening to copious amounts of Pitbull.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...the amount of bacon I eat.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...the bevy of emotions that live inside of me.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>...not wanting kids of my own.</b></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My dad always said to live without regrets, but don't be an asshole about it. (Well, not exactly that, but that was the gist.) So here's to keeping apologies limited to situations that actually deserve them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Okay, until my next blog.... Rock on! (Oh, I won't apologize for using that phrase either... also, I love saying "Groovy." #<strike>Sorry/</strike>NotSorry)</span></div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-6701993397255257562015-10-28T21:09:00.001-04:002015-10-28T21:09:59.495-04:00Quick post....<p dir="ltr">Ugh. Tonight writing holds no interest for me but I promised to write daily. (I wish I was the kind of person who can't keep a promise....)</p>
<p dir="ltr">I will make this easy on myself. Here is a list of expressions my dog makes:</p>
<p dir="ltr">1. The same one. A lot.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The end. </p>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-63910323229420969042015-10-27T23:22:00.001-04:002015-10-27T23:22:23.494-04:00Stand Clear of the Closing Doors<h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 6px; text-align: center;">
"If I ever have to stop taking the subway,<br />I'm gonna have a heart attack."<br />-- Edward Norton</h2>
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I get it, Ed. Me too. I actually adore the subway. Let me explain....</div>
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I lived in LA for 15 years and I spent about 14 1/2 years of that trapped on the 405. (I am pretty sure I spent the entirety of my early 30s year trying to get onto the 10 and failing to be let in even though I used my blinker and a bevy of hand signals. If memory serves, I was finally able to make a u-turn on La Tijera Blvd somewhere around my 36th birthday.) Needless to say, listening to a Mariachi band while riding in a subway car that smells like fresh poo is actually not too bad in comparison.</div>
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I have to admit that my favorite part of the subway ride isn't that I can get to midtown in 20 minutes or that I can buy a monthly pass for less than a car payment. My favorite part of my commute is the temperament of the MTA employee who is in charge of the announcements. Often, the announcements are fairly benign, mumbled and usually without enthusiasm. However, this morning was chock full of excitement and I was pumped.</div>
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To set the stage you need to know that the train was delayed. So at 8am, the platform was filled to the rim with more assholes than usual. The train arrives and it's already full. FACT: This capacity issue doesn't mean that one should wait for the next train. It actually means, "Shove and push and mutter 'Jesus Christ!' under your breath in the most irritated stage whisper you can muster then glower at anybody who makes eye contact." (I've heard that many New Yorkers actually list this talent as a marketable skill on Linked In.) </div>
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I was able to squeeze into a small space while the MTA employee reminded us, "Make sure to let the customers OFF the train before you enter the train. Stand clear of the closing doors." The train doors banged shut (BING BONG), then sputtered open (BING BONG). The shut (BING BONG), then open (BING BONG). Then we heard: "STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS! PULL YOUR BAG IN! IN THE FRONT!" (BING BONG, BING BONG, BING BONG, BING BONG)</div>
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With each stop, the train became more and more full of indignant assholes. The MTA worker was going mental: "PEOPLE OF NEW YORK! LET. THE CUSTOMERS. OFF. THE. TRAIN. BEFORE. YOU. GET ON. There is another train right behind this one! WAIT FOR IT. It will show up! I promise! Stand clear of the closing doors!" BING BONG - BING BONG. "PULL YOUR BAG IN! DOWN IN FRONT! STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS!!!! THERE IS A TRAIN RIGHT BEHIND THIS ONE YOU STUPID FUCKERS!" (He didn't say 'you stupid fuckers' but it sure was implied....) </div>
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I'd like to say that this is the first time I've heard a MTA suffer from a complete mental break. But it's not. </div>
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And while I feel badly for the MTA worker, I secretly enjoy the drama as it unfolds. Plus the yelling scares away the Mariachi band...... </div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-74357864338446157802015-10-26T07:27:00.000-04:002015-10-26T07:27:14.368-04:00Let's try this again...Let's try this again. And by "this" I mean "writing." <script type="text/javascript">
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I just haven't made the time to write in recent years. That's right, it's my fault. I can't say that I don't have time because I have found time to do other things like post ridiculous status updates on Facebook, take copious amounts of photos of my dog in the same exact position with the same exact look on her face, and to iron my hoodies. (Okay, that last one is a joke. I don't iron.)</div>
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I recently read (actually, listened to) Elizabeth Gilbert's book, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond-ebook/dp/B00S52M350" target="_blank">Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear</a></i>. This book made me cry. It was an amazing cry. It was the cry that finally let out a bucket load of pent up fear, self judgement, and creative stagnation. </div>
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Since I left the entertainment industry I've become scared of writing as in my mind it went from being a vocation to being a hobby. I simply didn't know how to handle the transition. For some reason, for me, the word "hobby" felt... small. Unimportant. Like I'm suddenly that weird uncle who "tinkers" instead of a strong woman who creates. Why was this transition so paralyzing? Why was I even labeling it a "transition"? I don't have answers to that. All I know is that I suddenly became very afraid of people judging me for not being a "real" writer and for some reason, this really mattered to me. </div>
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Back to Elizabeth's book....</div>
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Hearing her describe the fear she went through as a writer was like an old friend wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and offering me a cup of tea. It was comfort in the form of support. I was able to digest that I'm not alone, nobody is judging me except me, and my fears are of my own doing. What a great revelation... and right on time.</div>
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So here's my plan: It's <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaMoWriMo</a> coming up and I'm going to use this to jumpstart my journey back into being an active writer. My plan, to simply write daily in this blog. That's all. No word limits. No big goals other that, "Put words here and hit 'publish.'" To help myself succeed, I'm going to use my favorite habit tracking app (<a href="http://perfctday.com/" target="_blank">perfctday</a>) so I can watch my writing streak increase with each passing day. (Also, I love metrics... I'm sure I'll blog about that at some point.) I will also post my ramblings on social media so you can follow the journey.</div>
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So here it is. First day of writing = done. And it didn't hurt! Much.</div>
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*****</div>
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PS - I should note that I understand that this whole "fear of writing" post is a first world problem to the gazillionth degree. I'm grateful that this is my biggest fear.</div>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-78148210153344138092013-02-14T14:21:00.002-05:002013-02-14T14:21:52.360-05:00GAH!I'm falling behind on my <i>Project Runway</i> blogs ALREADY. I'm so sorry!<script type="text/javascript">
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Will post soon........... when I have a hot minute.</div>
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xo</div>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-53239980139289229852013-02-04T16:05:00.002-05:002013-02-04T16:05:56.519-05:00Project Runway: Season 11, Episode 2<div style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple; font-size: large;"><i><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not watching Project Runway, </span></b></i></span></div>
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<i style="color: purple; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but I'mma blog about it.</span></b></i></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Guidelines for reading this blog:</span></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />* Understand that I CAN NOT SEW. But I can use Febreze. So there's that....<br /><br />* I have no time to watch the episodes, but I have time to be snarky about the final products that wander down the runway. Which leads us to the next rule...<br /><br />* I am a comedian. Take nothing I say to heart/seriously. Just laugh, life is happier than way.<br /><br />* My goal with this blog is to see how being blind to the challenges, judges, contestants, etc., affects my judgments. I'm interested to see if I like things that fans universally hate because they know the back-story and vice versa.<br /><br />* Anything I DO find out about the show will be through my natural course of life on the interwebs via Twitter and Facebook. But I will not seek anything out or click on any articles. I will merely see headlines and comments. That's all.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">* If any of these guildelines give you hives, move along unless you have an EpiPen handy.<br /><br />* (PS - excuse the formatting of the pictures as Blogger is still a hot mess. Or maybe I am. I'm willing to believe it might be a little of both. But mostly Blogger.)</span><script type="text/javascript">
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">**********</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Oh my............ looking at the runway this week and .............. what................. the...............<i>BALLS?</i></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJwj7qpuhS-ZFBTCKdumYPdHsSOtu8SbWtNcbbfzUA7B7Q1rP-hVaMziaJKWSrHGGohNPXaVHi7jmE6G_t8dyvLyNVGPRVFd5uqdGTFlGxooilyM_i_lMC41pstGZjUHVAsPXYbLotedM/s1600/ball+pit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJwj7qpuhS-ZFBTCKdumYPdHsSOtu8SbWtNcbbfzUA7B7Q1rP-hVaMziaJKWSrHGGohNPXaVHi7jmE6G_t8dyvLyNVGPRVFd5uqdGTFlGxooilyM_i_lMC41pstGZjUHVAsPXYbLotedM/s320/ball+pit.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No guys. Balls are MY business. Srsly."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">(PS - if you're going to Google "balls" make sure to put a qualifier in there. Like "Ball pit." Or something like that. Just a tip. Or just the tip... Ahem...)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Okay, I imagine these are all uniforms for some hip place I've never heard of or been to because of the following reasons:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">* I am too old</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">* I am too unhip</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">* I like my balls, but I'm not serious enough about my balls</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I don't even know how to rank these outfits. They are all odd. Some more so than others. Some more bland than others. Some just sent me into fits of giggles. FITS. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Okay, let's just start........ and I'm giving the categories new names as this was hard to judge:</span></span><br />
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<b style="font-size: xx-large; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Not Totally Awful, Just Mostly MEH"</span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHOWDen8G1yQJaNgrHXO22lckjPdimXFkRG1GwX1PEOu41J57ojlIljsBddzC_CDQ0vAhNvfBoudPGC3RiKW9WP8VtCjWx66FjR76ZJL5k_XNuvdXNxj707KI0g1RH_Wzw3YN2bkVCOFc/s1600/pr11-ep2-michelle-b+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHOWDen8G1yQJaNgrHXO22lckjPdimXFkRG1GwX1PEOu41J57ojlIljsBddzC_CDQ0vAhNvfBoudPGC3RiKW9WP8VtCjWx66FjR76ZJL5k_XNuvdXNxj707KI0g1RH_Wzw3YN2bkVCOFc/s400/pr11-ep2-michelle-b+(1).jpg" width="271" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I hate elastic waistbands. HATE. Whenever I go on ModCloth.com and do the "Be The Buyer" I am always saying: STOP WITH THE ELASTIC WAIST. STOP IT. It looks.... bunchy. It looks like she....</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDSXNrjICcQIaNk_TTwAueYc_k9DqUclAx0uMkMhMavrbu0p_JLu0l_P2RjxtKanB4KNwfnx5j_f5CYVG3ENJk9Jd67nsaOSRlHVxGjs1FX2-ajJws4zERLJLlkXn-_QH1bVWUOV9yS0/s1600/tumblr_m79hhfzxRu1qdm5s7o1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDSXNrjICcQIaNk_TTwAueYc_k9DqUclAx0uMkMhMavrbu0p_JLu0l_P2RjxtKanB4KNwfnx5j_f5CYVG3ENJk9Jd67nsaOSRlHVxGjs1FX2-ajJws4zERLJLlkXn-_QH1bVWUOV9yS0/s320/tumblr_m79hhfzxRu1qdm5s7o1_1280.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"...Totally cinched it!"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The collar looks like it has a mind of its own. It overwhelms the outfit completely. Which is good because THAT ELASTIC WAIST. I just can't handle it... Plus the elastic gathering around the arms. Just stop it....</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8RF5wWRjferpIqJ_RsifLct-4sC-kWK25z51tP7BmBvMPxfIw2UkrFJLacgMfkAeec3MOFafrK9CwJgDCh9aa373JbAzTc-tmwwuM0YLVw4zTgQRbQq81ZbEoWb1xUTBZDZLW3YxhgQs/s1600/pr11-rr-benjaminmatthew-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8RF5wWRjferpIqJ_RsifLct-4sC-kWK25z51tP7BmBvMPxfIw2UkrFJLacgMfkAeec3MOFafrK9CwJgDCh9aa373JbAzTc-tmwwuM0YLVw4zTgQRbQq81ZbEoWb1xUTBZDZLW3YxhgQs/s400/pr11-rr-benjaminmatthew-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is this an uniform for a bouncer at a gay club? I mean, "Balls are my business" printed ON HIS BALLS? And what is that big net about? (Although, I must admit that it seems about the right size for him to be able to chase and recapture his dignity with...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't get the back of the shirt. Why is there a nude spot? Honestly with that net, it just looks like he missed capturing a really big moth. MAYBE HE SHOULD GET BIGGER MOTH BALLS! HAHHAHAHA! Yes. Childish. I don't care.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcUrjC18qs_rc8A4csbH0CRKTgYGsM40rzUaHmPMgWFre7e-NmlcLwB6fyT-aScj4EWNRhY3SNRaKHZYMCT26ZcplG-XikckQl4fttGa80UWzDFU243dUwKfHKrtZE0mHbVwiZtsvU0SI/s1600/article-new_ds-photo_getty_article_83_152_57615614_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcUrjC18qs_rc8A4csbH0CRKTgYGsM40rzUaHmPMgWFre7e-NmlcLwB6fyT-aScj4EWNRhY3SNRaKHZYMCT26ZcplG-XikckQl4fttGa80UWzDFU243dUwKfHKrtZE0mHbVwiZtsvU0SI/s320/article-new_ds-photo_getty_article_83_152_57615614_XS.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I love rayon!"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXf1TTjyGZDI-TMJR3JGoBvmovjn7IbRZbDE2y7t7UOZ7LF6RrFPJOW2PZRQm1HViuGn6lpR7D_Ag9roK7C8ISFp_tYitPnzlEguCE6pXG24cKI5LpoKlmts2BAccBadPnF-zEM2ACJio/s1600/pr11-ep2-samanthatu-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXf1TTjyGZDI-TMJR3JGoBvmovjn7IbRZbDE2y7t7UOZ7LF6RrFPJOW2PZRQm1HViuGn6lpR7D_Ag9roK7C8ISFp_tYitPnzlEguCE6pXG24cKI5LpoKlmts2BAccBadPnF-zEM2ACJio/s400/pr11-ep2-samanthatu-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb-v0eINIsKlzicoKeNbzlf0a0iKUEVRvxPYO5ITsy8wnops_vMng9NfOV9ee6KW_fZkZZpqjbIJfegsDqxrw2cn-bAP-gGVcknL6WcHtV7yNM-c2OfMjzpms07gTSKp3k8JewpU73G9c/s1600/pr11-ep2-samanthatu-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb-v0eINIsKlzicoKeNbzlf0a0iKUEVRvxPYO5ITsy8wnops_vMng9NfOV9ee6KW_fZkZZpqjbIJfegsDqxrw2cn-bAP-gGVcknL6WcHtV7yNM-c2OfMjzpms07gTSKp3k8JewpU73G9c/s400/pr11-ep2-samanthatu-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"></span></span>Never in a million years would I think this is a uniform, unless I was in a back alley Victoria's Secret. It looks...... trashy. It looks... cheap. It looks....... dull. But at least her moth hole (wow) is symmetrical.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Onwards....</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKdkf_RAfbm1E3u4_rEG2aYbRpu0Hzh-hdNFHGdftbXw6yGk4hUkWdYuOukYbWWIPFOT4Lf9bapyHd26xRW7JW2qiZOy_l66zH6NRhyphenhyphenIdKCEmEDUGU1xOJmpEWgaO-Fhvv0rVPvd0jUVk/s1600/pr11-rr-james-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKdkf_RAfbm1E3u4_rEG2aYbRpu0Hzh-hdNFHGdftbXw6yGk4hUkWdYuOukYbWWIPFOT4Lf9bapyHd26xRW7JW2qiZOy_l66zH6NRhyphenhyphenIdKCEmEDUGU1xOJmpEWgaO-Fhvv0rVPvd0jUVk/s400/pr11-rr-james-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEsnX-j3l2pS_70fLsSPyWhTqGwA_ZTT2QYfKVUDxaAIPvtYCb895qItuTXiqXL-oNNe_gdBA5p8q5XqLn0PQ0OTNcJ6FPlxpSvGwHnMjDo7qZ-K3OoUdXlPDxcry9xMbfZCOa-XvzMM0/s1600/pr11-rr-james-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEsnX-j3l2pS_70fLsSPyWhTqGwA_ZTT2QYfKVUDxaAIPvtYCb895qItuTXiqXL-oNNe_gdBA5p8q5XqLn0PQ0OTNcJ6FPlxpSvGwHnMjDo7qZ-K3OoUdXlPDxcry9xMbfZCOa-XvzMM0/s400/pr11-rr-james-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">JAMS ARE NOT NOW OR EVER IN FASHION. I mean, look at the model's arms. I mean face. FACE. His face is saying, "This hurts my feelings." (But his arms are saying, "Let me hold you.")</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The shirt is fine but who cares, it's just another tank top. Hanes has been doing that for years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jams. I can't get past the arms. I mean jams. JAMS. (ARMS! HUBBA HUBBA!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj0Fbfxcnsbm1sl_fvdjQnTU2nxqwnISrRKqzU_VGvdH-OSkDQtuJW8Ic8TNOMKUaUqzQNDLROdglriZiFPNXhmeFsGu0y_mTLjWpRKybnuOY0PshEUUk4oxiIhNVZZRD3Rn8oF4XNEWQ/s1600/pr11-rr-katepatricia-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj0Fbfxcnsbm1sl_fvdjQnTU2nxqwnISrRKqzU_VGvdH-OSkDQtuJW8Ic8TNOMKUaUqzQNDLROdglriZiFPNXhmeFsGu0y_mTLjWpRKybnuOY0PshEUUk4oxiIhNVZZRD3Rn8oF4XNEWQ/s400/pr11-rr-katepatricia-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNpxRmFgMUUO0Whq-oahZjqJGaPGhhaCBacrdjG1RwDNzh2jcI38s_CEUVzt31LlcqXgoy7fG2bsgyG6iM6m1iNMByQz2tiiL5Y1Libkr6qTc80QePhLDrzGZChzkDyNT46b16BrbLG2g/s1600/pr11-rr-katepatricia-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNpxRmFgMUUO0Whq-oahZjqJGaPGhhaCBacrdjG1RwDNzh2jcI38s_CEUVzt31LlcqXgoy7fG2bsgyG6iM6m1iNMByQz2tiiL5Y1Libkr6qTc80QePhLDrzGZChzkDyNT46b16BrbLG2g/s400/pr11-rr-katepatricia-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wait........ this model looks HAPPY. Isn't that an instant disqualification?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Again, this doesn't feel like anything I'd see and think, "This person works here. I should ask her where the bathroom is." Plus the skirt over the leggings just looks prudish, especially with so much skin showing in the top. It feels unbalanced. Like my emotions. (But don't worry about me, that blonde model's arms are my new happy place.........)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And another... meh outfit for the bunch:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBk-gFQI1ui3mUDSebYjbEcsKtTbb8X4eJybdjeBTi3ZFFMs8iaNhyDBRoHIfxnVCdKu8kqvnU5qYfBKYAQ0dTd-QTYr6RmPMDmSA8Lnpj1gK-reoGaPbg4iTTxwnw3KTHI-Dxo8eP0-8/s1600/pr11-rr-cindybenjamin-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBk-gFQI1ui3mUDSebYjbEcsKtTbb8X4eJybdjeBTi3ZFFMs8iaNhyDBRoHIfxnVCdKu8kqvnU5qYfBKYAQ0dTd-QTYr6RmPMDmSA8Lnpj1gK-reoGaPbg4iTTxwnw3KTHI-Dxo8eP0-8/s400/pr11-rr-cindybenjamin-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9jfK3jKygG5ibSaIx_sFngT2-zeF7MBIe64N0qakxkDYUJFi_3_ot9e6ijrMbBnV5QY1nXqWwUiQtqEnJNU12wZWz8LfehR4rDZ_LxMwD3lL6QKiL6xkazwPddbnHQjGJUngDS8vEYyc/s1600/pr11-rr-cindybenjamin-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9jfK3jKygG5ibSaIx_sFngT2-zeF7MBIe64N0qakxkDYUJFi_3_ot9e6ijrMbBnV5QY1nXqWwUiQtqEnJNU12wZWz8LfehR4rDZ_LxMwD3lL6QKiL6xkazwPddbnHQjGJUngDS8vEYyc/s400/pr11-rr-cindybenjamin-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is it me or is this a really boring runway?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This outfit is so boring it hurts. It doesn't look classy. It doesn't look comfortable. Can you imagine having to wear short shorts EVERY DAY? I mean, they made Hooters waitresses wear pantyhose for a reason under those things...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In short (literally), there's nothing wrong with this....... but there's not much great about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then there's this.......</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacTNvaQtOh27wIQHjkCF29uF48P3z36KFXYJuuQG_3Q-9u2LCVp8PCf3vYzswngj0VMWw9Ypv1jMYQxdeRUAxWL8FUdOh8GiAtbOmwVkdHX92MS5hfN0ACH4OBPbVZczWrabB6cO3_uk/s1600/pr11-rr-amanda-F.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacTNvaQtOh27wIQHjkCF29uF48P3z36KFXYJuuQG_3Q-9u2LCVp8PCf3vYzswngj0VMWw9Ypv1jMYQxdeRUAxWL8FUdOh8GiAtbOmwVkdHX92MS5hfN0ACH4OBPbVZczWrabB6cO3_uk/s400/pr11-rr-amanda-F.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVJPHlgL2cKBkh48IvpOYI4iCr25doFuUc43hcPOOZWypeN6HQVwERMj7CBpW0aR8pNen5eghvFRSKaHBsApyuJC-KMktfBNxK4AtJmJTUQMvh4PkDtYFWIhgAalvx1uuh0vvI90u_C-U/s1600/pr11-rr-amanda-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVJPHlgL2cKBkh48IvpOYI4iCr25doFuUc43hcPOOZWypeN6HQVwERMj7CBpW0aR8pNen5eghvFRSKaHBsApyuJC-KMktfBNxK4AtJmJTUQMvh4PkDtYFWIhgAalvx1uuh0vvI90u_C-U/s400/pr11-rr-amanda-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sure. Slap a name tag on this and it's really nice. But doesn't it look a lot like what the model wore last week? And I liked last week's better for a uniform actually! It looks fun yet professional:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXTmIAf01_LsPD-PgUCOHviq45lbdpp8NNo8XXcP3X_htyuUb8Z5qz4IeUYgtedw1h4a4duSFITnYYMNMc14mLKog8lCv08bgR5FomZ59XhVhvi-4wkGshdrxL8E4wPkthMk1OHVWs9wI/s1600/pr11-rr-layana-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXTmIAf01_LsPD-PgUCOHviq45lbdpp8NNo8XXcP3X_htyuUb8Z5qz4IeUYgtedw1h4a4duSFITnYYMNMc14mLKog8lCv08bgR5FomZ59XhVhvi-4wkGshdrxL8E4wPkthMk1OHVWs9wI/s320/pr11-rr-layana-f.jpg" width="217" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"If I wear this dress each week, I'll win."</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ummmmm........................ one trick pony designer?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>TOP CHOICES BASED ON THIS IS WHAT'S LEFT, GUYS:</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVffa8RrZ1FmWnI2c6GDUNzpnG3pBd7IwCCgXa3Gx-cWpKosannx3tfPXnvAI5ZRDInWqCZwle5qKcCsuiBjihq-J9M9AZtShywMr2NRFnF5TTVJZM21mIbu7mONx-CLEB3Hig7NdlH4E/s1600/pr11-rr-daniellayana-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVffa8RrZ1FmWnI2c6GDUNzpnG3pBd7IwCCgXa3Gx-cWpKosannx3tfPXnvAI5ZRDInWqCZwle5qKcCsuiBjihq-J9M9AZtShywMr2NRFnF5TTVJZM21mIbu7mONx-CLEB3Hig7NdlH4E/s400/pr11-rr-daniellayana-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9hZ6ueVi8v6rHUFfnm9u_4HglBSEEOo08v9OR3QAZOOek5S1WHnJ9IJKCaylBwmHO8EkNyztB-rLTm3a84aS74Zfqz-OatFe8i5c9IJs7dUrJsJLoy0Pss28Lv2ezxMHWkwAtRBBexu8/s1600/pr11-rr-daniellayana-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9hZ6ueVi8v6rHUFfnm9u_4HglBSEEOo08v9OR3QAZOOek5S1WHnJ9IJKCaylBwmHO8EkNyztB-rLTm3a84aS74Zfqz-OatFe8i5c9IJs7dUrJsJLoy0Pss28Lv2ezxMHWkwAtRBBexu8/s400/pr11-rr-daniellayana-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I wish the shorts were a little longer, I like this as an option for a uniform. It's modest yet sexy. It's professional, yet sexy. It looks like it's comfortable and functional. So this is my top choice for the women's uniform... and now for the guy's....</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSHqYeXzgitZSBUtfi_awFioxFPNEFHdpGQdX2ftaqfyCjy6FvDu7VJykMqjqpTXHnd2nVQXEjQIuH7QAXBytnXdY1Nzf1Cb68jf9GvjMP3EfRsGNt7dS4AnPoMbgSPXaiCQj9SoxW3-E/s1600/pr11-ep2-stanley-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSHqYeXzgitZSBUtfi_awFioxFPNEFHdpGQdX2ftaqfyCjy6FvDu7VJykMqjqpTXHnd2nVQXEjQIuH7QAXBytnXdY1Nzf1Cb68jf9GvjMP3EfRsGNt7dS4AnPoMbgSPXaiCQj9SoxW3-E/s400/pr11-ep2-stanley-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn6cJkZ2c7gSMw1SVCh9xW1O6zx8OnhyphenhyphenvNM6MRlGeh1gxnq4TLdHV6Y1iIVtWD9vh9tEHXTrJt6qP8OFo4KU_0bfCaAR-3RkEk-oB3Vwde3mOSB14WHypzsv9BIs5fSK66foz1v-L1vJw/s1600/pr11-ep2-stanley-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn6cJkZ2c7gSMw1SVCh9xW1O6zx8OnhyphenhyphenvNM6MRlGeh1gxnq4TLdHV6Y1iIVtWD9vh9tEHXTrJt6qP8OFo4KU_0bfCaAR-3RkEk-oB3Vwde3mOSB14WHypzsv9BIs5fSK66foz1v-L1vJw/s400/pr11-ep2-stanley-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This looks like an outfit you go to work in! You can get it dirty! You can move around! This says, "Ask me where the bathroom is cuz I work here," outfit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I like the boots, I like the pants and the t-shirt with the "balls" (tee hee!) saying on the back. This just seems really stylish and well done. I could see the women wearing the same thing but with a fitted t-shirt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">AND NOW THE....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>AW HELL NAW outfit (aka "Auf'd"):</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQxW0Yblu2h542-oA2ZQvhhDmJlheuOKr9QqwLTIE6Y7SY1NvNWO14iOBNOZ-t7YqEp1RhAS9SYhwQ8lR01xGwrKpfCX0Ky5ZrMluyG0IFJRb65DUvdWsQ5JCRO_YM-UE0QwAfP2c9BFc/s1600/pr11-rr-josephaaronrichard-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQxW0Yblu2h542-oA2ZQvhhDmJlheuOKr9QqwLTIE6Y7SY1NvNWO14iOBNOZ-t7YqEp1RhAS9SYhwQ8lR01xGwrKpfCX0Ky5ZrMluyG0IFJRb65DUvdWsQ5JCRO_YM-UE0QwAfP2c9BFc/s400/pr11-rr-josephaaronrichard-f.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_R3_e1XN5NIYlD0EpnRF7V9JxS2HUMPA83ATe8FTvMNiC9S7L2_Avc5wdyJh9RvTZmspgJaIPFyHow7zcOGmiemlwWCs5DuIyoGrDiz-KHfVMsKRKVsOV2qoF3SwCdoFYjd_mDrSHItI/s1600/pr11-rr-josephaaronrichard-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_R3_e1XN5NIYlD0EpnRF7V9JxS2HUMPA83ATe8FTvMNiC9S7L2_Avc5wdyJh9RvTZmspgJaIPFyHow7zcOGmiemlwWCs5DuIyoGrDiz-KHfVMsKRKVsOV2qoF3SwCdoFYjd_mDrSHItI/s400/pr11-rr-josephaaronrichard-b.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NO. BAD. TERRIBLE.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The black t-shirt goes around his middle like a truss and the suspenders are just WAY too over the top. Plus the words. OH THE WORDS. I get that it's trying to be in your face and edgy, but really, I just want him to keep his balls to himself and go into a different business.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, the net on the back just looks like he's in a really wimpy version of the Hunger Games.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA5TPcIVfAwJyFPi8VSeO6HomqOzuav6gxL6Rv0U6DiBpSGMKT_YnwQX5zx57hNVg_Wh3GD_NTjnAfuzSSTv-9Fi7icAWP2cD7LKzS-58O1EzIc9Ts4-wCLAt1atBKXEkYxk4f2xyd0s8/s1600/456x330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA5TPcIVfAwJyFPi8VSeO6HomqOzuav6gxL6Rv0U6DiBpSGMKT_YnwQX5zx57hNVg_Wh3GD_NTjnAfuzSSTv-9Fi7icAWP2cD7LKzS-58O1EzIc9Ts4-wCLAt1atBKXEkYxk4f2xyd0s8/s320/456x330.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"My arrows will find your balls and make them MY business."</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Auf Wiedersehen zu Ihren Bällen!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And there we go, week #2 down. Still haven't watched an episode and didn't even see a thing about the show this week. So... how are you enjoying the blind episode reviews? Am I in the ballpark? (HAHHAHAA. I know! I know. I know....................)</span></div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-49683254531900059042013-01-30T15:50:00.001-05:002013-01-30T16:40:15.185-05:00Project Runway: Season 11, Episode 1<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>I'm not watching Project Runway, </b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>but I'mma blog about it.</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><b>Guidelines for reading this blog:</b></span></div>
<span style="color: blue;"><br />* Understand that I CAN NOT SEW. My version of sewing is ironing clothes. Absorb that.<br /><br />* I have no time to watch the episodes, but I have time to be snarky about the final products that wander down the runway. Which leads us to the next rule...<br /><br />* I am a comedian. Take nothing I say to heart/seriously. Just laugh, life is happier than way.<br /><br />* My goal with this blog is to see how being blind to the challenges, judges, contestants, etc., affects my judgments. I'm interested to see if I like things that fans universally hate because they know the back-story and vice versa.<br /><br />* Anything I DO find out about the show will be through my natural course of life on the interwebs via Twitter and Facebook. But I will not seek anything out or click on any articles. I will merely see headlines and comments. That's all.</span><br /><span style="color: blue;">* If any of these guildelines give you hives, move along unless you have an EpiPen handy.<br /><br />* (PS - excuse the formatting of the pictures as Blogger is still a hot mess. Or maybe I am. I'm willing to believe it might be a little of both. But mostly Blogger.)</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
*******</div>
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<br /></div>
Woo hoo! My first <i>Project Runway</i> blog since... well a long time. (Let's not dwell on that. Bygones.) I am going to judge the outfits based on my thoughts and into the usual categories: Safe, Top 2 + Winner and Bottom 2 + Auf'd Outfit. Enough chit-chat! Let's begin!<br /><br /><br /><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">SAFE:</span></b><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfJ3ww71bdlpyPaIjMEtifC5mU9fVMu6YP5E60EDkzDsQvJNvgpWFNaBq8DzyTAtl-cU7m5Dt9YlTj-xSlbjXUr-jV3BBfuZJUAE0quVkYLIUqTGSQ_lQ_YnoEeGRR5ovN9hyphenhyphenMi2g_RU/s1600/pr11-rr-benjamin-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfJ3ww71bdlpyPaIjMEtifC5mU9fVMu6YP5E60EDkzDsQvJNvgpWFNaBq8DzyTAtl-cU7m5Dt9YlTj-xSlbjXUr-jV3BBfuZJUAE0quVkYLIUqTGSQ_lQ_YnoEeGRR5ovN9hyphenhyphenMi2g_RU/s400/pr11-rr-benjamin-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDSISi9wdc_qsr17-YHiBppaVlchTax6QBQYwPCLf40oJ0nZQV1cbj7MOUpEQY1Tr3E1Bv5uBk6xwNBm7rUwr2v9zdweaN4Ik2efKh183pTPHaQu1NpR9nama5cbBoINqHxvrFRxTQ8oc/s1600/pr11-rr-benjamin-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDSISi9wdc_qsr17-YHiBppaVlchTax6QBQYwPCLf40oJ0nZQV1cbj7MOUpEQY1Tr3E1Bv5uBk6xwNBm7rUwr2v9zdweaN4Ik2efKh183pTPHaQu1NpR9nama5cbBoINqHxvrFRxTQ8oc/s400/pr11-rr-benjamin-b.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfJ3ww71bdlpyPaIjMEtifC5mU9fVMu6YP5E60EDkzDsQvJNvgpWFNaBq8DzyTAtl-cU7m5Dt9YlTj-xSlbjXUr-jV3BBfuZJUAE0quVkYLIUqTGSQ_lQ_YnoEeGRR5ovN9hyphenhyphenMi2g_RU/s1600/pr11-rr-benjamin-f.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br />To me this dress looks like two things got together and had a baby: <br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7YddhTEXaggnsLn26RXNS2-0KnsxbyxtxfS69_WdnJ30H466j_TTult04aMd17AQDxKTvk4g_zd8Pa4r6Rhk8SlRhtKik0k5R663lx48Ly_FfgSmlmQjxXykAzr9IZGFo8MSteBTvx9I/s1600/img76o.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7YddhTEXaggnsLn26RXNS2-0KnsxbyxtxfS69_WdnJ30H466j_TTult04aMd17AQDxKTvk4g_zd8Pa4r6Rhk8SlRhtKik0k5R663lx48Ly_FfgSmlmQjxXykAzr9IZGFo8MSteBTvx9I/s320/img76o.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO4uFpmNKNgi3M7s0XROz1QWSBxvYyRKARJbgQNSp0Q5qhIrLqivhoKtmzMXtC6k4iDej25tQN7jeIOUAtob_0tLWoUDdEJpbg4LEGXydGh1Nxjiq9HPNgHrgPb5Z5VINvmV9azwjWgF8/s1600/images.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO4uFpmNKNgi3M7s0XROz1QWSBxvYyRKARJbgQNSp0Q5qhIrLqivhoKtmzMXtC6k4iDej25tQN7jeIOUAtob_0tLWoUDdEJpbg4LEGXydGh1Nxjiq9HPNgHrgPb5Z5VINvmV9azwjWgF8/s200/images.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqhiPnhKNlwORULAvV5zAr0p-BI1RBzGMJnNzxFbRAQmqxa9TOSDfIrwHS7indHwwuswb_DqrOH0T8CZIMc9IjxFE-Qr8PoZEbSG09Klm-wEp2V9jkn8K1LMKsAcn2ho24-FtCvr6V5Vw/s1600/billy-ray-cyrus01.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqhiPnhKNlwORULAvV5zAr0p-BI1RBzGMJnNzxFbRAQmqxa9TOSDfIrwHS7indHwwuswb_DqrOH0T8CZIMc9IjxFE-Qr8PoZEbSG09Klm-wEp2V9jkn8K1LMKsAcn2ho24-FtCvr6V5Vw/s320/billy-ray-cyrus01.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><b><i>AM I RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT?</i></b><br /><br />So why is it not in the bottom 2 or auf'd if I hate this "Mullet Dress" trend? I consider this look "safe" because it's not totally offensive (and there was so much BAD in this first round). There seem to be no glaring sewing or construction issues... other than the mullet around her lady bits.<br /><br />Next....<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBeh0hGnSlkkcGSDDycBFhn_yNuxnmI5yoJYoc16NSDq7-g_WP221ijxfpRY9xzvcoyzVc5A2Az_mCLU0V0ulBiIKAdgszoU95H-vlyXjyMFt8PxMpDptcwFsJEcSqXo7PtOFNzR8K4gQ/s1600/pr11-rr-james-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBeh0hGnSlkkcGSDDycBFhn_yNuxnmI5yoJYoc16NSDq7-g_WP221ijxfpRY9xzvcoyzVc5A2Az_mCLU0V0ulBiIKAdgszoU95H-vlyXjyMFt8PxMpDptcwFsJEcSqXo7PtOFNzR8K4gQ/s400/pr11-rr-james-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQa5flvWhwZU9OrN4kY0VZTGFQ7j9UWWnfm7l6IkzS6S3-QeR4UMtA-VNBzPFULDWqChYPqT2UVxGRjLPE1jCyRadCqjmkoFu6Cg3Pa8ZMgthTuzSuPuxWCwzpG_4q8sA9sFL0t1-FnyA/s1600/pr11-rr-james-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQa5flvWhwZU9OrN4kY0VZTGFQ7j9UWWnfm7l6IkzS6S3-QeR4UMtA-VNBzPFULDWqChYPqT2UVxGRjLPE1jCyRadCqjmkoFu6Cg3Pa8ZMgthTuzSuPuxWCwzpG_4q8sA9sFL0t1-FnyA/s400/pr11-rr-james-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......................................... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............<br /><br />Wait, what's going on with the fabric on the shoulder blades? Oh never mind, I lost interest because zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.<br /><br />....I'm awake! What's next?<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisNsamyqRi5ia5a4cHfxl5KyJD8G-M57RdYHRuhPJquUS8pptxEVoAq4ahKgkblqd7iH2Z4FFchNlusKaK6HGo2wJ1DpNyX53D5E9jG07fJJZCIoZiPsWJptawnq4af3E_QhXKxePTfSw/s1600/pr11-rr-kate-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisNsamyqRi5ia5a4cHfxl5KyJD8G-M57RdYHRuhPJquUS8pptxEVoAq4ahKgkblqd7iH2Z4FFchNlusKaK6HGo2wJ1DpNyX53D5E9jG07fJJZCIoZiPsWJptawnq4af3E_QhXKxePTfSw/s400/pr11-rr-kate-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7RD3KT1mEO3wmv7-xsQivXQsaGDXGGzHrgR9X48STzGx8gTUR6jb0AXE4gKiUVXB1Qnu0ZQ-vcDoSBrq8oLxdUL5tmAdFTo2s8l6zlj-5zDF9oJ-ql2WZU9N0AohUIcOwhxQ_AYdBed0/s1600/pr11-rr-kate-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7RD3KT1mEO3wmv7-xsQivXQsaGDXGGzHrgR9X48STzGx8gTUR6jb0AXE4gKiUVXB1Qnu0ZQ-vcDoSBrq8oLxdUL5tmAdFTo2s8l6zlj-5zDF9oJ-ql2WZU9N0AohUIcOwhxQ_AYdBed0/s400/pr11-rr-kate-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />Oh yay. Another potato sack. Sigh......... NEXT!<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYjGXNk3qr1VHkbcmcwsOPI25ThQgEbXn5XUYP7NlVL_Zq8v3xWtsmxXNR2e-SSwbUkLn2XIjaFtTKUhoo_CWf0y2BItltlFhFaDRWBZy-hKPI08IlPiJS1X4AOnVSKPOBQ5dodw0PYQ/s1600/pr11-rr-michelle-s.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYjGXNk3qr1VHkbcmcwsOPI25ThQgEbXn5XUYP7NlVL_Zq8v3xWtsmxXNR2e-SSwbUkLn2XIjaFtTKUhoo_CWf0y2BItltlFhFaDRWBZy-hKPI08IlPiJS1X4AOnVSKPOBQ5dodw0PYQ/s400/pr11-rr-michelle-s.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEBHIAeVpK0R8XuvQhCSZuofHPlXDXnvFB5zzf3abPURTggt0mGfC6ycaGv77XN_TDHG2dJiVWPsg2SW_uI2Z5nK8gRRGB8UdwtVKV9XTe4LTwCvckJxFXmdh9qgSEUI9i9sVHEpRru1w/s1600/pr11-rr-michelle-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEBHIAeVpK0R8XuvQhCSZuofHPlXDXnvFB5zzf3abPURTggt0mGfC6ycaGv77XN_TDHG2dJiVWPsg2SW_uI2Z5nK8gRRGB8UdwtVKV9XTe4LTwCvckJxFXmdh9qgSEUI9i9sVHEpRru1w/s400/pr11-rr-michelle-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />I am irrationally mad at that pocket. I LOVE the dress. Really, I do. The dress on its own is GORGEOUS. And if it were JUST the dress, it'd be a top 2 look. But what the hell is up with the "Crossing Guard Needs A Pocket Sash"? WHAT IS THAT? It looks tied on and as though it belongs on a Brownie outfit. PLUS, the pocket is at a horrible angle as NOBODY puts their hand in a pocket that freaking high. And the tab in the back isn't flush with the garment. So sad. It really feels like the designer panicked that their dress wasn't fancy enough and then rushed an accessory which tanks the whole look. I almost put this in the bottom, but so many other outfits made me angry...<br /><br />Does it get better?<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitoIpYGmf9hyphenhyphenxqPwDdcSfdb67Jit2G1_gEMxlFSamR_rD4RsbF_hboNezLG9Tg1_IXTYhQOOpw62RodcdZplkBR2Gt2oTapmbLdetTVBZ1zDMET_88UAJfuPk07-eEBAkRPxOTMERT1qs/s1600/pr11-rr-patricia-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitoIpYGmf9hyphenhyphenxqPwDdcSfdb67Jit2G1_gEMxlFSamR_rD4RsbF_hboNezLG9Tg1_IXTYhQOOpw62RodcdZplkBR2Gt2oTapmbLdetTVBZ1zDMET_88UAJfuPk07-eEBAkRPxOTMERT1qs/s400/pr11-rr-patricia-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWwlqnJ96wRsoUTg3g_Dk_rGJNBfzm9AVyA4QwdEbWdQWh7bYN5y4I3YvMvmrK6gqh-znEX2pcTwNGlOZkSkKyVZExTHneiD5rX18mXMZ8wLlnTc5VGpMnLT5ytrE_Qj78KIsYkG5T5c/s1600/pr11-rr-patricia-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWwlqnJ96wRsoUTg3g_Dk_rGJNBfzm9AVyA4QwdEbWdQWh7bYN5y4I3YvMvmrK6gqh-znEX2pcTwNGlOZkSkKyVZExTHneiD5rX18mXMZ8wLlnTc5VGpMnLT5ytrE_Qj78KIsYkG5T5c/s400/pr11-rr-patricia-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />Nope. Sure doesn't.<br /><br />Love the fabric, hate the fit. WHAT is happening in the back? It looks like it's about to fall right off her (barely there) shoulders. Sigh.........<br /><br />Last in my "Safe" pile:<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS8iDSH8VG-Owlc8TMk_gR4R-pFCJ2fa419Hv-9q5fDAj78A4FbodPj-lUBFAGmaYQBlm3TfmqfZLM_3mhfprv6H1xLU00HjYyUHIh9pOhFQ8pCp5Z3XCh-MZFcLhSLiy-Um6e-VEjUH8/s1600/pr11-rr-samantha-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS8iDSH8VG-Owlc8TMk_gR4R-pFCJ2fa419Hv-9q5fDAj78A4FbodPj-lUBFAGmaYQBlm3TfmqfZLM_3mhfprv6H1xLU00HjYyUHIh9pOhFQ8pCp5Z3XCh-MZFcLhSLiy-Um6e-VEjUH8/s400/pr11-rr-samantha-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJaRdatB3wo3_kug3p6XydUNW1IG-jbWXDLC7tbW1Gi75npn59JrwQbpk4iZgd_qxxp7F4Afcnct_m1Psw8X_N-tYN3pG4LzCIM-4gwFdjCXoybKtn2UhwibAa4d5QEoDs-hMXqweRkZE/s1600/pr11-rr-samantha-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJaRdatB3wo3_kug3p6XydUNW1IG-jbWXDLC7tbW1Gi75npn59JrwQbpk4iZgd_qxxp7F4Afcnct_m1Psw8X_N-tYN3pG4LzCIM-4gwFdjCXoybKtn2UhwibAa4d5QEoDs-hMXqweRkZE/s400/pr11-rr-samantha-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br />The shoes ruin it for me. I like the color, but the tassels are........ odd.<br /><br />This dress is just "Meh." Sewed well, love the color and fabric, but the mesh stuff just looks like she's afraid of getting mosquito bites in one certain area.<br /><br /><div>
Okay, enough of this! Let's get to the good stuff............<br /><br /><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">TOP 2:</span></b><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlBXb14nndn5WsgQLyUYLoHFJ6paAZx2m7rAfr7d_c5x9cWV5bAVV_q5wxsVug2z76EPJygQPXVZWGC_UqOiju9EzHtLuiuIOScGs8tYxgWoimzhO1XbR_2zpvrJNastZpF-JfwgCxJds/s1600/pr11-rr-amanda-s.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlBXb14nndn5WsgQLyUYLoHFJ6paAZx2m7rAfr7d_c5x9cWV5bAVV_q5wxsVug2z76EPJygQPXVZWGC_UqOiju9EzHtLuiuIOScGs8tYxgWoimzhO1XbR_2zpvrJNastZpF-JfwgCxJds/s400/pr11-rr-amanda-s.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpCvDhwwM_orkgsl3qJji6uKfgWlpOGxoMOUxUvJ5yakWu1fP1LUYm3QfQmk4rpYXniKaIZK7XkZ8PCkFwS0Pw0uMNApKqg82ljktRK2-HV4O_xkl42XWvhyphenhyphenoIPnNJtP7ZGu2bfkvtZU/s1600/pr11-rr-amanda-b.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpCvDhwwM_orkgsl3qJji6uKfgWlpOGxoMOUxUvJ5yakWu1fP1LUYm3QfQmk4rpYXniKaIZK7XkZ8PCkFwS0Pw0uMNApKqg82ljktRK2-HV4O_xkl42XWvhyphenhyphenoIPnNJtP7ZGu2bfkvtZU/s1600/pr11-rr-amanda-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpCvDhwwM_orkgsl3qJji6uKfgWlpOGxoMOUxUvJ5yakWu1fP1LUYm3QfQmk4rpYXniKaIZK7XkZ8PCkFwS0Pw0uMNApKqg82ljktRK2-HV4O_xkl42XWvhyphenhyphenoIPnNJtP7ZGu2bfkvtZU/s400/pr11-rr-amanda-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br />It's basic, but I like it. Except for the crotch. (Like Kors, it's always the crotch with me. Ahem.) It looks like there's a little excitement in the front and she's happy to see us in the same way that rowing team was happy to see us in the Olympics. (Not that I looked at that picture for very long............ at.................................. all......................mmmmmmmmm.)<br /><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7jMkxOY4m45xmCqQ7zNtAqLqUJHXlmcSbPdpggwFnk3omu2W5-v9la5vRoCheF8MNFaV19_LrlrOZXPYVhZTw-2IUbnmb9mNqUIok36hj7YyZd9kzITMkwFLMkAHrThSoeEkSZOTneRM/s1600/cn_image.size.usa-olympics-bronze-rowing.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7jMkxOY4m45xmCqQ7zNtAqLqUJHXlmcSbPdpggwFnk3omu2W5-v9la5vRoCheF8MNFaV19_LrlrOZXPYVhZTw-2IUbnmb9mNqUIok36hj7YyZd9kzITMkwFLMkAHrThSoeEkSZOTneRM/s320/cn_image.size.usa-olympics-bronze-rowing.jpg" /></a> <br /> <i>"Where did we leave our oars?" </i><br /><br />Oops, hi, I'm back. And I showered, so it's all good. Where were we....?<br /><br />Back to the outfit...... I LOVE the colors, the asymmetry of the shirt, the openings in the front of the pants that high light the shoe. It feels stylish and not over done. The panels on the exposed hip are great. The colors are harmonious. The styling is right on. Has this broken the mold on fashion? No. But, HAPPY FISTS HAVE RETURNED! (And so has the rowing team as my background on my computer....)<br /><br />Next in my top 2:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzPCRJlEvnzy5Y9yuX09HOSwkUjCFIAToOYD3I0C-E-GSqYJoLMt_SnRJxElIxkiHi3FNKQVm4XjKe23e9vel4dSGLQ0pwB26ZiAzkiUHEj64jCX3t4WDxC_b9iUv5yXXeNd0h-f8hkdA/s1600/pr11-rr-layana-f.jpg"></a><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzPCRJlEvnzy5Y9yuX09HOSwkUjCFIAToOYD3I0C-E-GSqYJoLMt_SnRJxElIxkiHi3FNKQVm4XjKe23e9vel4dSGLQ0pwB26ZiAzkiUHEj64jCX3t4WDxC_b9iUv5yXXeNd0h-f8hkdA/s400/pr11-rr-layana-f.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIKbkXScQ42_QKcEqoeKxzLYHIUMMyGbtnDij0R5qUmLvCjhi4_eB84IOBfvE4oWSyc8cmWRbeWAtyi_gCpoWpT1QtmqQb973XYovufVB_fdVcCs6ew1pXxOqhiKh8mjyXkeeohzHPG30/s1600/pr11-rr-layana-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIKbkXScQ42_QKcEqoeKxzLYHIUMMyGbtnDij0R5qUmLvCjhi4_eB84IOBfvE4oWSyc8cmWRbeWAtyi_gCpoWpT1QtmqQb973XYovufVB_fdVcCs6ew1pXxOqhiKh8mjyXkeeohzHPG30/s400/pr11-rr-layana-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />The model is solid, styling is solid and I like the corset look in the back. The neckline is great and the fit seems really well tailored to the model's body. Again, nothing has been reinvented here, but it's just a good, solid dress that is styled well.<br /><br /><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">MY WINNER:</span></b><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjKGWcC8_gnftv73WqUuA58akxhG6qtBwCP6DVHvNu6VkMS1dMM5nJ5jYlFnYKh29pr3_U3oVwg1J2QjHfO66PO3kVH_BSTgPgqt8UcFwJiaC_DdLVyVtMfaHy11CqeWOao7R1Ud-4xG8/s1600/pr11-rr-daniel-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjKGWcC8_gnftv73WqUuA58akxhG6qtBwCP6DVHvNu6VkMS1dMM5nJ5jYlFnYKh29pr3_U3oVwg1J2QjHfO66PO3kVH_BSTgPgqt8UcFwJiaC_DdLVyVtMfaHy11CqeWOao7R1Ud-4xG8/s400/pr11-rr-daniel-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqteMwKKO44Iu60esKgIYOrs1f1f1MKntbC-7ihyphenhyphenaFJ2WYJMYcjJT2wvdY7iGSQpfxQzxzDOtzHijItGLOU83VWy_5ylTZfaMlAclmxnujhiuOge4Gzdk_YR66durMYdL9qqRDMOB_hpI/s1600/pr11-rr-daniel-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqteMwKKO44Iu60esKgIYOrs1f1f1MKntbC-7ihyphenhyphenaFJ2WYJMYcjJT2wvdY7iGSQpfxQzxzDOtzHijItGLOU83VWy_5ylTZfaMlAclmxnujhiuOge4Gzdk_YR66durMYdL9qqRDMOB_hpI/s400/pr11-rr-daniel-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><b>PERFECTION. LOOK AT THAT CROTCH! WHAT A GOOD CROTCH!</b><br /><br />First of all, the model is strong and styled completely on target. This outfit really works on her. On me it would look like I tucked a table cloth in my bloomers. But that's okay! This is for the youngin's and on her it is GORGEOUS. (My guess is Heidi wanted to wear this one.)<br /><br />Okay, now my bottom choices and the auf'd choice. PS, there are more than just a bottom 2....<br /><br /><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">BOTTOM MANY (why so much bad?):</span></b><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitjRBRfBFP4vOuXR3RgPYd8UFBPBJD3yX51el8wt-l459PEVgCHLzwUD3UJBEiUuN0jKXYLF3lz-ZNUMquG4xWTxwABBExAedo9MG41mD8nustpmzGtzDoYC3Bpcn23rODC30Dt20fMPg/s1600/pr11-rr-cindy-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitjRBRfBFP4vOuXR3RgPYd8UFBPBJD3yX51el8wt-l459PEVgCHLzwUD3UJBEiUuN0jKXYLF3lz-ZNUMquG4xWTxwABBExAedo9MG41mD8nustpmzGtzDoYC3Bpcn23rODC30Dt20fMPg/s400/pr11-rr-cindy-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXnlxOmCk0VsYmdJ8pz_fVY4aNZgop1lil-BSPlCLeYDzNRMhW3-0ZFi2T2Odi7zLpUr0V7QEUvqf1owhxe7WyvF9iiwhOc97bgmdzog_qwJE-WlUqlLIf0JIY7AQBTjnNkWDincv6DHw/s1600/pr11-rr-cindy-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXnlxOmCk0VsYmdJ8pz_fVY4aNZgop1lil-BSPlCLeYDzNRMhW3-0ZFi2T2Odi7zLpUr0V7QEUvqf1owhxe7WyvF9iiwhOc97bgmdzog_qwJE-WlUqlLIf0JIY7AQBTjnNkWDincv6DHw/s400/pr11-rr-cindy-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />This design pisses me off. While the fabric is nice and I like how it looks as she walks (according to the picture of her walking away) I CAN NOT GET PAST THE RACE CAR BELT. It looks to me like the designer said, "Ehermergerd! I made a basic dress! I NEED TO LOOK EDGY! Quick! A race flag as a belt!" It doesn't work together with the jungle motif (which is already busy enough).<br /><br />In short, boring, no sense of style, bad editing and.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.<br /><br />Onwards....<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6dO0MqcfAS4va52NPj9SHeIugV2xd7pUXwTtZbhE4_AjG9rxs7sTTMPyjWzA8P7BGVRoLFjWxli9hIf-bGDKkPlyYAM7iQvSI3Jg7oNZhs0wyvMKR8f1QA5LSxoiqjNM9cnfGSagExGM/s1600/pr11-rr-emily-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6dO0MqcfAS4va52NPj9SHeIugV2xd7pUXwTtZbhE4_AjG9rxs7sTTMPyjWzA8P7BGVRoLFjWxli9hIf-bGDKkPlyYAM7iQvSI3Jg7oNZhs0wyvMKR8f1QA5LSxoiqjNM9cnfGSagExGM/s400/pr11-rr-emily-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwYpj8Ou1_TcorCoQMlK1yzfl8r5cCdnX5pSccKU7lAvMLBrGJDBlK9stRQjANU2MWIpqD_ZIE0_ya2NYvqDs-Wqa1BxKNaPZNxhl_kaorix8EMgRxdR66W39E6dzpEFdA_hYtiQFDjQk/s1600/pr11-rr-emily-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwYpj8Ou1_TcorCoQMlK1yzfl8r5cCdnX5pSccKU7lAvMLBrGJDBlK9stRQjANU2MWIpqD_ZIE0_ya2NYvqDs-Wqa1BxKNaPZNxhl_kaorix8EMgRxdR66W39E6dzpEFdA_hYtiQFDjQk/s400/pr11-rr-emily-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br />What the......... f*ck. How did you make your model look like she has the thickest legs in the world on top of looking like the hottest mess in the world? Oh I see, the skirt is too short, the shoes cut the line of her leg and that weird mid-drift looks like the pieces don't fit (and are too small for her frame) and that TOP KNOT ON HER HEAD?!? What's happening here? Did someone have a stroke? Did someone smell toast and not get the help they needed?<br /><br />Plus, that mesh on top looks like she walked through a screened door and just kept on walking.<br /><br /><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbSmR6oH1XShHPBSUHUF6UkCcF8qeUbKSfkleCiwGNNlERg9LH7G0WZeDRwa47padJEVNVO8IEEmc2pJgPzlkkRuH5eI70yQzIwV_70akZzuiUudRgS85TdYiG7OjnhgqUZTvdFweixMM/s1600/Cartoon.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbSmR6oH1XShHPBSUHUF6UkCcF8qeUbKSfkleCiwGNNlERg9LH7G0WZeDRwa47padJEVNVO8IEEmc2pJgPzlkkRuH5eI70yQzIwV_70akZzuiUudRgS85TdYiG7OjnhgqUZTvdFweixMM/s320/Cartoon.jpg" /></a> <br /> <i> "And then she went on Project Runway and was never seen again."</i><br /> (photo credit <a href="http://cover-my-world.com/screen-door-magnets/index.htm">Cover My World</a>)<br /><br /><br />Ugh, next....<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg9558xhwEt9DofiayzlFertMJIrL8EDzIv87J11CFOXEjP93fvePWv-OEaB-HmF5GmSa9bf8vJv9a1tVxx-nuVGnqFqpkZ88NSrspzQUJrmL9J5kkGzZMczIfDp5ZIWC1X-ubUFG_CkQ/s1600/pr11-rr-joseph-f.jpg"></a><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg9558xhwEt9DofiayzlFertMJIrL8EDzIv87J11CFOXEjP93fvePWv-OEaB-HmF5GmSa9bf8vJv9a1tVxx-nuVGnqFqpkZ88NSrspzQUJrmL9J5kkGzZMczIfDp5ZIWC1X-ubUFG_CkQ/s400/pr11-rr-joseph-f.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQKY9REacUikfnsarBG1l2zsXWTJHnRl2PByHLRvIqhvJB-zxnq0SIJZCRf_-Fj3ubb_t6BADSFCn3hOIFQmtT6a5b3PlTBzerY5DqXsI7g3yBlqudRWHWx4JMEb5SMtimOgj1zjVE8s/s1600/pr11-rr-joseph-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQKY9REacUikfnsarBG1l2zsXWTJHnRl2PByHLRvIqhvJB-zxnq0SIJZCRf_-Fj3ubb_t6BADSFCn3hOIFQmtT6a5b3PlTBzerY5DqXsI7g3yBlqudRWHWx4JMEb5SMtimOgj1zjVE8s/s400/pr11-rr-joseph-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />Great. One walks through a screen door, this one walks through a clothes line from a Dickens novel. Hey lady, THE ORPHANS WANT THEIR CLOTHES BACK!<br /><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdXsNybQzrbDq5WD13jSaXeLem-Yoj1s6gu9rwYVI_T7BKFpOd9aoa7bBzpe0O-S6B-zxvgHDh0d-4KzmWMqkf2oJpxHnCFQ_uiLd6IQp5U1o2yUerKDBs_IYN0UUKd0Ga_bBeJgYiazg/s1600/oliver_twist_begging.jpeg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdXsNybQzrbDq5WD13jSaXeLem-Yoj1s6gu9rwYVI_T7BKFpOd9aoa7bBzpe0O-S6B-zxvgHDh0d-4KzmWMqkf2oJpxHnCFQ_uiLd6IQp5U1o2yUerKDBs_IYN0UUKd0Ga_bBeJgYiazg/s1600/oliver_twist_begging.jpeg" /></a> <br /><i> "I'd ask for more but bitch, please, that's ugly..." </i><br /><br /><br />Guh. Next...<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrTYiLQUGpJG2eg9OdBjx_n5xmHNCubRoJtlJ4ltkMKtX7Es0QuKMDxr6D70ZqUmRW61F57XVgv6ouVydcCii8tRsZ_ptm193glghyAFDcXgDOQ5lEZdEm0wf-BN5iv5k7fRz4560YHcM/s1600/pr11-rr-matthew-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrTYiLQUGpJG2eg9OdBjx_n5xmHNCubRoJtlJ4ltkMKtX7Es0QuKMDxr6D70ZqUmRW61F57XVgv6ouVydcCii8tRsZ_ptm193glghyAFDcXgDOQ5lEZdEm0wf-BN5iv5k7fRz4560YHcM/s400/pr11-rr-matthew-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5KhAOhR-z6ScJENdw1OEHdQ1Tt3-RzLlACIh5QB7QUuTQewPyRTIPdelkQkUOZj4FhD9JjIj-EQb0KdJgbgZo7kvBLQy1JHfwo9Gz9oYOk4NqCiUKjNuA88KB2KTm8qb63lOmARZEXzI/s1600/pr11-rr-matthew-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5KhAOhR-z6ScJENdw1OEHdQ1Tt3-RzLlACIh5QB7QUuTQewPyRTIPdelkQkUOZj4FhD9JjIj-EQb0KdJgbgZo7kvBLQy1JHfwo9Gz9oYOk4NqCiUKjNuA88KB2KTm8qb63lOmARZEXzI/s400/pr11-rr-matthew-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br />I can't even............. She looks like a CHILD. This is an outfit for a CHILD. The styling is childish. (I like the shoes, but too little too late.) While this looks really well done from a sewing standpoint, I can NOT get behind how infantile this outfit seems. Is it that stupid top knot on her head? What is it? I just can't look at this and not feel dirty. Let's just move on and pretend this didn't happen.......<br /><br />Is there more bad? Oh yes......... there is..........<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_0HJsgW6N0DIWHK_MDypt3ptrv_O4x-xNhhXJFcvV6iuciX-KfzcS5HznF_XYL9ykFJ1ymF20PmUOqqj3XF7GvcaWNa9mAtDdOjiUA1Ap5Wuxey47dWyhRnSXrFECMcvZsZRoRE3Ewc/s1600/pr11-rr-richard-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_0HJsgW6N0DIWHK_MDypt3ptrv_O4x-xNhhXJFcvV6iuciX-KfzcS5HznF_XYL9ykFJ1ymF20PmUOqqj3XF7GvcaWNa9mAtDdOjiUA1Ap5Wuxey47dWyhRnSXrFECMcvZsZRoRE3Ewc/s400/pr11-rr-richard-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLZgzx-6ze8_pVd_To-C7XGSgyVXDjdVSSH7Iut7l0JJnyzj-IelhEYioohFQ8h7ZFSQ_-ElqV4BhJVv5WqLYpySvygjm1Mul2Nyq9DlNuRKNsLYE8OdlGH0WTVlHQtQD8PxBNvipbsX8/s1600/pr11-rr-richard-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLZgzx-6ze8_pVd_To-C7XGSgyVXDjdVSSH7Iut7l0JJnyzj-IelhEYioohFQ8h7ZFSQ_-ElqV4BhJVv5WqLYpySvygjm1Mul2Nyq9DlNuRKNsLYE8OdlGH0WTVlHQtQD8PxBNvipbsX8/s400/pr11-rr-richard-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br />Q: Why does this model look so sad?<br /><br /><i>A: BECAUSE SHE IS WEARING A TWO-TONES SHAPELESS SACK.</i><br /><br />This dress looks like it's pulling in the front from some bad sewing and ..... and........... boring.<br /><br />And last before announcing my Auf'd but not least... okay maybe almost least:<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtfxkiVUlKmWWWtL1iEvDMMuhxz-aAwv7kuH1s-RwOaGvTJAj6yJANrlucrc7ccZ9Os3KfniQKVWt5rv6h82t8uzoCPEnP-cyJRpnjP1sICMG4cHjz4SH6sefzokqj-Qqo0i9Rdqs-UJU/s1600/pr11-rr-tu-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtfxkiVUlKmWWWtL1iEvDMMuhxz-aAwv7kuH1s-RwOaGvTJAj6yJANrlucrc7ccZ9Os3KfniQKVWt5rv6h82t8uzoCPEnP-cyJRpnjP1sICMG4cHjz4SH6sefzokqj-Qqo0i9Rdqs-UJU/s400/pr11-rr-tu-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1q7wegLzEKaPCGXdC-wVMn-QAYmYp5cMvlbGPUhDpEuEpXv5en2JkA05xWZlzDWgA6q-j6PMz23r6DqSrnJPpEJFzmYM-7rPC2-aECrEWUPw1j9hZeQ9uJmCwWHhCrP2S0F0DXHhdRPo/s1600/pr11-rr-tu-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1q7wegLzEKaPCGXdC-wVMn-QAYmYp5cMvlbGPUhDpEuEpXv5en2JkA05xWZlzDWgA6q-j6PMz23r6DqSrnJPpEJFzmYM-7rPC2-aECrEWUPw1j9hZeQ9uJmCwWHhCrP2S0F0DXHhdRPo/s400/pr11-rr-tu-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br />No. Stop it. She's like a weird Black and White Cookie. But the lowfat kind that taste like cardboard.<br /><br />And now...... finally.....................<br /><br /><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">MY AUF'D LOOK:</span></b><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNQ3P4PfdPJ_yKQBcVkFOQVYAMl3NGIwUiqdTQiU0M74Pd8jx1Y2ERALPW0iYsrRd8P05sMGd_0kb1u89SKvQjeXa3FtdO7OeURRIfrza2M_vVVQ_bCvvSlAyC_YrAMZhfiUUCdh-gmoA/s1600/pr11-rr-stanley-f.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNQ3P4PfdPJ_yKQBcVkFOQVYAMl3NGIwUiqdTQiU0M74Pd8jx1Y2ERALPW0iYsrRd8P05sMGd_0kb1u89SKvQjeXa3FtdO7OeURRIfrza2M_vVVQ_bCvvSlAyC_YrAMZhfiUUCdh-gmoA/s400/pr11-rr-stanley-f.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJEX-lcS-IiGZpn7DhRLkwKdqvnyotXz-YfuybuLnfV23wexrfE1O3keuGcZ5PFmkDdPEtIXhCvjJIykTWSFZxp3Yw4RHCQXGYjNZ7Ok5-8h4jiKONKM14WLaEy8oDkXndTPJOQXXCU4E/s1600/pr11-rr-stanley-b.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJEX-lcS-IiGZpn7DhRLkwKdqvnyotXz-YfuybuLnfV23wexrfE1O3keuGcZ5PFmkDdPEtIXhCvjJIykTWSFZxp3Yw4RHCQXGYjNZ7Ok5-8h4jiKONKM14WLaEy8oDkXndTPJOQXXCU4E/s400/pr11-rr-stanley-b.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><b>NO. NO NO NO NO NO. Bad designer. BAD DESIGNER!</b><br /><br />First of all, THE CROTCH. So low.What is she carrying in there? (I don't want to know...)<br /><br />I also hate jumpsuits. You can't pay me enough to wear one. They always look like, to quote Tim Gunn, "a lot of look."<br /><br />And finally, BLUE ALLIGATOR? What is that fabric? I think it would look elegant as a dress, but this looks like a pair of pants I got for $19 I got at what my sister called, "The Slut Store" in NYC back in the 90s.<br /><br /><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg92dDRKQMWVKVxQEEYoTyAEsf2LFn0fD5RHfb7NX3yAfN8-eyZwPbfFKOCTIlKlLcsjvpVBJeyxHwOCsD2sQXeL7YuwyqBwZ7tWrzthcyCw-IT9bj0vTy72mhulptK6XmnLkcGWTTHLuk/s1600/Blue-crocodile-toy.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg92dDRKQMWVKVxQEEYoTyAEsf2LFn0fD5RHfb7NX3yAfN8-eyZwPbfFKOCTIlKlLcsjvpVBJeyxHwOCsD2sQXeL7YuwyqBwZ7tWrzthcyCw-IT9bj0vTy72mhulptK6XmnLkcGWTTHLuk/s320/Blue-crocodile-toy.jpg" /></a> <br /> <i>"What did you do to Mom?!?!" </i><br /><br />The pants are too long and just fit poorly. It looks horrible. The only thing I like about the back is that the outfit is getting as far away from me as possible. Auf wierdersehen, baby. You're out.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />So there she is. A blog written about a show I haven't watched. I know it's all group challenges this season, but that's it. I have no idea who the designers are that are responsible for the good, the bad or the hideously ugly. So please, comment away! Let me know how I did compared to the judges on the show!<br /></div>
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<i>(PS - I'll work on my Blogger/Picture skills. Some of the pics, no matter how hard I tried, would not flush to the left. WHY IS IT SO HARD? WHY AM I A LUDDITE? WHY AM I SINGLE? Ooops, inner monologue coming out again.....)</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><script type="text/javascript">
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-90024660286611099242013-01-29T14:43:00.000-05:002013-01-29T14:43:13.865-05:00A PROJECT RUNWAY ANNOUNCEMENT...Full disclosure: <i>Project Runway</i>, I miss you.<script type="text/javascript">
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When I started blogging about <i>Project Runway</i> 934830294 years ago (it's been on that long, right?) I had a lot of time on my hands. I was a freelance writer (also pronounced "unemployed hysteric") and I had time to watch the show many times, take copious notes, and then take 9 hours to write it. (Told you, LOTS of time on my hands.)</div>
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Well, now I WISH I had spare time on my hands. (Don't we all??) But I want to blog even though I don't get to see the show in any sort of timely fashion, if at all. So I'm creating a challenge for myself: <i><b>"Blog about the runway on Project Runway without knowing anything about the episode other than what I happen to catch on Twitter."</b></i></div>
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<br />So here are my rules:</div>
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* Look at the pics on "Rate the Runway" only</div>
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* Write my reviews of each piece in my own special way</div>
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* Rate the looks myself with a winner and loser </div>
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* I am not allowed to look anything up. Anything I do learn will be through the natural course of life, aka Twitter.</div>
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So... are you in? Or are you out?</div>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-6690342053077432752013-01-25T16:33:00.000-05:002013-01-25T16:33:11.696-05:00THIS is 40. Seriously. It is...Sigh.......... for the past few years I've been "30-mumble-something-years-old" but now I'm gonna be just 40. No mumbles. No somethings. Just... 40. I have a few months yet, but it's there. (Just like in "When Harry Met Sally," only closer. And less adorable.)<script type="text/javascript">
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So welcome to my stand-up set, "THIS is 40." It's not like the movie as in I don't have rich people problems. and couldn't relate to ONE thing in that movie. I have broke people problems, which I think more people can relate too. (Poor people let me hear you hollah for a dollah!)</div>
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<br />So without further interruption, I give you my latest opus, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/thenewoldbiddy?feature=mhee" target="_blank">"THIS is 40"</a> performed at <a href="http://www.gothamcomedyclub.com/" target="_blank">Gotham Comedy Club </a>on January 23, 2013.</div>
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And if you doubt any of it.... here's some physical proof my mom dug up last night. Isn't she great? So glad she keeps everything. BUH.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUaIdNqTY-wAKJf7sVEKA9c1WmKYm8DFdoj94exLuTYeIAmyjMd5qTyt7OHLEEFOxWr3panipWG4C7WwFxidjS_oU2yg-wJlLmkfTEbnMIGo4i1gQALRIwIexN-FVp17B3HJ02gmBOWrQ/s1600/528915_520942677925860_1133811186_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUaIdNqTY-wAKJf7sVEKA9c1WmKYm8DFdoj94exLuTYeIAmyjMd5qTyt7OHLEEFOxWr3panipWG4C7WwFxidjS_oU2yg-wJlLmkfTEbnMIGo4i1gQALRIwIexN-FVp17B3HJ02gmBOWrQ/s320/528915_520942677925860_1133811186_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom hoards more than just coupons apparently... DAMMIT.</td></tr>
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Keep up with all my gigs and come see one if you live in NYC! You can follow me on my personal website <a href="http://www.jennifereolin.com/">www.jennifereolin.com</a>. </div>
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<br />Thank you for the support! (That always sounds like I'm talking to my bra.....)</div>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-67718912218419829452012-12-18T11:40:00.000-05:002012-12-18T11:43:49.341-05:00Happy Holidays from The Tutorialists!We're back! New episodes all this week! Please enjoy (and share) the insanity. <script type="text/javascript">
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And for some STUPID reason, embedding isn't working on our latest Behind The Scenes episode. Click <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egUlyuVGdo4&list=PLC4DC0D06DA53BF37&index=9" target="_blank">HERE</a> to see it! </div>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-75200224780174063592012-11-06T16:53:00.001-05:002012-11-06T16:53:38.315-05:00I call bullshit!I went to vote today and there were no "I Voted" stickers being passed out this year. I'm sorry, but I love my badge that brags about my civic duty completion. I don't know, maybe it's the 8-year-old in me (not literally cuz ew) that really likes the sticker. <script type="text/javascript">
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My friend (and Tutorialists co-hort, Hannelore Williams) and I had a few things to say about the subject. Enjoy and go to our <a href="http://www.facebook.com/thetutorialists" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> to download your own sticker! </div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-62500874211475378992012-10-25T19:10:00.000-04:002012-10-25T19:10:59.568-04:00Rent The Runway!Last night I had the pleasure of going to <a href="http://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home?login=true&Off=2644" target="_blank">Rent The Runway's</a> party for <a href="http://www.renttherunway.com/ourrunway/ageGroup-35" target="_blank">Our Runway</a> (a new section on their website that shows real people in their clothes vs. just models). <i style="font-weight: bold;">I APPLAUD THIS. </i>So my sister (who uses RTR a lot for events) and I ordered dresses (free of charge for the event), tarted up and sallied forth into the night. (It should be noted, I've not sallied forth in quite some time.)<div>
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This is the dress I ordered and wore, <a href="http://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/missoni_dresses/lostseadress" target="_blank">Missoni's "Lost At Sea" dress</a> that rents for $175.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I eat air, but only organic air.</td></tr>
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It should be noted, I did not look like this lady in that dress. Not even close. I feel that to wear this dress successfully, you must be a size 0/2 and be in AMAZING shape. I'm a size 6, in okay shape and should have picked something else. Something without horizontal lines across the widest part of my hips (that aren't that wide but looked it straight on) and something that has some sort of bra/boob support. (Holy Fashion Tape, Tim Gunn!)</div>
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Here's what I looked like: </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guh.</td></tr>
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I know, it's not bad! But one of the reasons I don't like this dress on me at all is because ZOMG I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE. You see, there isn't a built in bra or any support there. NONE. ZERO. So my boobs are all "wheeeeeeeeeeee!" and are heading off in their own directions. And not in that sexy "I'm running on the beach" sort of way. More like in that, "Oh no the crazy lady down the street isn't wearing a bra again today, MY EYES ARE BURNING!" sort of way. Thankfully, as I mentioned earlier, I had a pound of fashion tape with me. I was wrangled in within an inch of my life. But you can see how uncomfortable I am by the plastic smile on my face.</div>
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<b><i>HOWEVER, that said, I would use Rent the Runway again in a HEARTBEAT</i></b>. They have a million great dresses and their service is impeccable and easy. First, you pick the dress you want and you can get it in 2 sizes. Brilliant! Then you can even rent jewelry to go with it (although my necklace is from a very nice gentleman on the street last summer). And now that I think about it, I could have bought some of those free standing silicone boob cover thingy-ma-bobs. Yeah, that would have worked. Bygones... Anyhoo, when you're done, you put the dresses in a pre-paid envelope and ship it back. SO EASY IT'S STUPID.</div>
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So that was my quick detour into fashion. Today I'm back in jeans, boots, a tshirt and a knit military hat. Yeah...... maybe I should stick to pants......</div>
Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-58942652088015436392012-10-25T11:30:00.001-04:002012-10-25T11:30:41.175-04:00"The Tutorialists" -- See the Worst Nose Job EVERYeah................. this: <script type="text/javascript">
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And the aftermath...</div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-46373023951352692572012-10-08T14:53:00.000-04:002012-10-25T11:38:58.824-04:00"The Tutorialists" - Episode 6: How To Steep TeaYeah........... sorry feminists.<script type="text/javascript">
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The aftermath........ aka: Pam's revenge:<br />
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-63484932065957162192012-10-03T15:49:00.001-04:002012-10-03T15:49:58.649-04:00Catching Up With the TutorialistsHere are this week's episodes of "The Tutorialists"! First up, our tutorial on how to update your Mac OS. Next, our Behind The Scenes look at Pam and Shanae as they chat about their priorities in life and the production "value" (ahem) of their webseries. Enjoy!<script type="text/javascript">
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-84710616759199840232012-09-26T15:05:00.000-04:002012-09-26T15:05:09.355-04:00Not Gonna Lie.... It's Been A Rough YearOy.<script type="text/javascript">
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This has been an exceptionally hard year. What can go wrong HAS gone wrong. So naturally, I turned it into a comedy set. (You know, so I can write off my ER bills on my taxes as a job expense...)</div>
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Enjoy! </div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-3426700507294084992012-09-25T17:46:00.000-04:002012-09-25T17:46:01.768-04:00"The Tutorialists" - The Blooper ReelMy co-star/co-collaborator and co-all-around-awesome-girl, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/TheQueenHussy" target="_blank">Hannelore Williams</a>, and I have a BLAST doing "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/tutorialiststhe" target="_blank">The Tutorialists</a>" together! Please check out our silliness on our blooper/outtakes reel. Enjoy at our expense! <script type="text/javascript">
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-50289992665104551562012-09-17T18:27:00.000-04:002012-09-17T18:27:18.526-04:00"The Tutorialists" - Episode 4: How to Remove Unsightly Arm HairHi guys! Sorry for the delay in this episode. I broke my elbow and couldn't come into work; ergo, unable to upload the episode. But a week later, I'm back and so are "The Tutorialists." Please check out our latest episode and enjoy! Then groom yourself. <script type="text/javascript">
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-18691823604243732592012-08-27T18:25:00.000-04:002012-09-18T17:26:00.545-04:00"The Tutorialists" - Episode 3: How To Use WebMD.comI think we've all been here once or a hundred times....<script type="text/javascript">
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-47925023160319314402012-08-22T17:40:00.000-04:002012-08-22T17:40:06.861-04:00"The Tutorialists" - Behind The Scenes: Part 2<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yryjU_E5RYk" width="560"></iframe><script type="text/javascript">
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THANK YOU for all the love you've given "The Tutorialists"! It means a lot as this is a passion project totally funded out of the coins we find in the bottom of our bags at the end of the day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!</div>
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Episode 2 is up for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy and laugh! </div>
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Jennifer Eolinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04355725939194563460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5389837168568191094.post-3482942682569610522012-08-15T17:05:00.000-04:002012-08-15T17:05:22.478-04:00"The Tutorialists": Behind the Scenes - Part 1Pam & Shanae shouldn't talk. EVER. <script type="text/javascript">
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