For this blog,I'm going to watch up until where I joined, then jump to the runway. K?
By the way... Still pissed that Emilio is still here... so should have gone home... GRRR! And the show opens with him smugly lisping about how someone had to go home and he's glad it wasn't him. Dude. I have no idea which judge you have a picture of rutting with a goat, because that's the only reason I can see you still being her. You must have blackmail on SOMEONE. You MUST.
Bangs Sr. (Mila) and Bangs Jr. (Maya) sit in the window and talk about the humanity of the group that's left. Bangs Sr. thinks that Bangs Jr. is an old soul and that the more they share (about their bangs) the more they become friends. Although that could change on the runway. Awwww, Bangs Sr., thanks for keepin' it real.
WTH! Jay is comparing the guys' friendship to a Victoria's Secret Wonderbra with a straight face. HAHAHAHHAHAHAA! (Note to self: Compare my friendship with my girlfriends to Spanx. "You keep my fat in so nicely.") Ben then talks about how consistent he's been in being safe. OH. See, since I missed this on Thursday night, I didn't know going into the runway that he had the "loser" spot (which is also like only his second sound bite this season). Sigh.
Anthony has lost his viscera. Maybe its in Jay's support bra... TEE HEE!
Runway w/ Heidi... 9 left, Jay has immunity. Heidi tells them to bring their best to the runway. UM... really? Do we need to tell them that? Isn't that the point of the show? It's not the "Half Ass Project Runway" is it? (Well, to the producers it is...) She also lets us know that there will be no more immunity for winners. (Scurvy for everybody!)
Hold the phone. Did all the designers just go to Parsons only to be sent back to the roof of their apartment building? What a waste of your talents' time and energy! And oh good, bad "speculation" sound bites. (Didn't miss those...)
There they are on the roof. AGAIN! (Producers, do you get it for free, perhaps?) Tim tells them to ignore all the man-made elements around them and just concentrate on "Earth, fire, wind, air" as their elements. (Producers, why the roof if it didn't match the challenge? I hear NYC has beautiful Botanical Gardens and there seems to be a giant park called CENTRAL PARK that has water, air, earth and bbqs. I give up on you people. It's like you're not even trying anymore...)
We never got around to hiring "water."
And also part of this challenge is the big "Garnier Product Placement" element. Gross. There are ways to make this way more organic to the show than calling it out. ESPECIALLY since it never comes into play with the judging. NEVER. (Until celebrity hair stylist, Phillip Carreon, is auf'd on the runway, this part of the challenge is moot!)
Here's how the elements break down:
Jay = Air
Maya = Water
Jonathan = Air
Ben = Water
Mila = Earth
Anthony = Fire
Amy = Fire
Emilio = Earth
Seth Aaron = Air
Seth Aaron has no idea what to do with Air since it's happy. HA!
They go back to Parsons (Seriously - this traveling back and forth for no good reason is a waste of time and production money!) and sketch, then get $150 to go to Mood.
Oh look at all the time Ben is getting. Yeah... had I seen this, I'd so know he was going home. Jeebus.
Designers, I must tell you, I'm so bored
I might set something on fire just for funsies.
Off to Mood... shop shop shop... Anthony says he doesn't see "red" when he sees fire, he sees the gray remains. Um, sure. Okay. (PS - awkward yet interesting story about the pastor he knew who burnt down his house on purpose!)
Thank you Mooooooooooooood!
Back at Parsons... everybody talks about their element...
But nobody talks about The Fifth Element...
Tim then tells them that they have 1-day to do this challenge. (OF COURSE! Producers, did you shoot this entire season over the span of a week? Seriously!! This is ridiculous!)
Commercial break... and we're back! Blah blah blah... Tim enters with Phillip Carreon (carry on!) and this is where I came into the show live on Thursday.
Boy I really get why this show sucks now. Act 1 is SO BORING. And so predictable! Completely predictable. It puts me (as well as other viewers) off for the rest of the show! BOOO!
So let's skip over this bullshit and get to the runway:
Judges - Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and French designer dude, Roland Mouret.
Michael Kors: "I'm looking for the element of surprise."
Well... I see ruins, but not fire. Nothing about this says "fire." It's not smoldering, it's not hot, it's not anything other than a pretty dress with a fierce slit up the side. Oh well. It's safe... onwards.
Yep, looks like earth in that it looks like moss. I guess we know which way true north is when one wears this dress...
The "hat" is a little too Goth Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick for me. I like the dress, the leggings are interesting and yes, I get "air" looking at this. I also get the urge to order an unhappy hotdog.
OH PHOTOGRAPHER. This was your best shot? When she looks like she has broken marionette hands? Yeah. Shame. Shame.
Mila had water and describes how the ruffles are ripples of water and that it's old Hollywood. Nina Garcia launches into her saying this has already been done by Nina Ricci. (I scoured her site and yes, Nina likes a good ruffle, but I didn't see anything that would make me scream, "You stole that look." This is no Kenley-Canary-Bird dress rip-off.) Nina goes on to say that Mila is ALWAYS referential in her styles. HUH? It's episode 8 and this is the first I can remember hearing of this. UM... confused. And its in the top... so is the inspiration a bad thing? SO CONFUSED.
Seth Aaron had air as his element and he described his garment as the night air. Okay. Yes, I can see that. I can also see that Seth Aaron is definitely the designer of this outfit. MAN - this is amazing for just one day's work! OMG! I could barely get a button sewn in 15 minutes, much less make all THAT.
Love from the judges... French dude tells him that top designers would be jealous of his look.
WINNER - JONATHAN!
LOVE this look - HATE the shoes. HATE. Loathe. YICK.
Jonathan explains that this is laughter. He created his own textile and played off his model's skin tone. IT'S AMAZING. All the judges agree - and that her hair and make-up are best in show. HOORAY! A well deserved win!
"Pale understands pale!" Best quote of the night!
OMG. This is horrible. Brandise is a pretty model and yet, she looks completely homely here. (I personally would auf Phillip Carreon for this look!) To me, this looks like an outfit Spock's mother would wear to a Vulcan mixer. Ri-ugly-diculous.
Mila waxes about being inspired by minerals and whatnot. Kors tells her that her design is nothing like her past designs (why is this bad??) and that it's too normal. (Kors likes Vulcans?) He then calls her a one-trick pony which makes me say, 'Huh?' Nobody likes it overall. French guy tells Mila that she missed the boat because she didn't make a show piece and "that's what the catwalk is all about." YES. Nailed it. Thank you, French dude!
OH dear. Amy explains that she wanted the hair to be part of the fire element and the bowl is "contained chaos." I'll say it again: Oh dear.
Heidi tells her it looks like a cat in a sling. Kors says she's a barmaid who is serving her hair. Nina calls it "weird." (Again, shouldn't Phillip Carreon get auf'd for this mess????) Heidi asks to get rid of the hair extensions and the outfit really isn't that bad without it. You can actually see the construction of the top and the "bowl" looks like an avant garde piece. But I still don't see "fire."
Kors likes it better without the hair but Nina still doesn't like it at all. (Is it me or is Ms. Garcia just crabby pants through the judging - which I enjoy because she has a personality this week - meow!) Kors tells Amy that she got caught up in the challenge and lost herself. Yeah. Agree.
AUF'D - BEN:
Ben made a shark inspired suit - The Great White. There are ugly ass shark teeth on the cuffs. YEEKS.
The jockstrap pants are terrible as is the rest of the outfit. Heidi nails it: "If you don't know how to make a suit, don't make a suit." Amen. Ben admits he bit of more than he could chew.
MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:
Alison, Ben's model is sent home. Not a surprise. The girls will miss her positive energy. I will miss wondering how she can see straight due to her eyes being a mile apart.
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