Last week on Project Runway... Jonathan won because "pale understands pale." Ben made jock-strap pants and they were super ugly. Got it. Moving on.
Opening credits... Love the lie Heidi says: "3 designers will show at Fashion Week." Um, don't you mean, "10 will show at Fashion Week but we'll only air 3"? Hmm?
In the apartments...
Brown Sugar slaps Jay awake. My goodness, every show opens with some sort of slap fight between these two. (Maybe Glenn Beck should interview them?) OOO! Amy is wearing a hoodie! The Banger Sisters primp (as they always do, using a level to make sure their bangs are flush) and Maya reveals she's jealous she hasn't won anything yet. Hmmm.
Moving on to Parsons...
On the (useless) Runway to (not) get their challenge from (chock full of baby) Heidi! She starts off by wowing the audience with basic math: "HALF of you are gone." No kidding. Heidi tells them something about their challenge getting them in the "New York state of mind." She then literally saunters off the runway and Brown Sugar gets the honors of giving us the "what does that clue mean?" soundbite to cover the transition from the designers from the runway to the lounge to meet Tim. Bleh. Trite. Formulaic.
In the lounge...
Tim Gunn has Mr. Clean with him (Collier Strong, make-up artist for Loreal Paris - you'll remember him from the gripping episode that started off in the parking lot at the movie studio from last season). OKAY. I HAVE AN ISSUE. Tim Gunn tells the designers IN THE LOUNGE that they will be using NYC as their point of departure for their designs. HOLD UP, PROJECT RUNWAY. Last week for the "elements challenge" you were on the roof and literally said, "Ignore all that NYC in the background." And now for a NYC challenge, they are in a dim room. THAT IS THE WORST BIT OF PRODUCING I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME, PROJECT RUNWAY. That is sad. Are the interns running the show? No. I take that back as interns would actually do a MUCH better job than you "paid professionals" are doing. OMG. I am so angry. This is why I left the industry. Because its run by morons like you guys. (Holy crap, I need a hug... and a bottle of wine... and a rasher of bacon... and a new hoodie... I could go on.)
Tim goes on to tell the designers they'll be going to 4 very distinct neighborhoods and they've been chosen based on their history and impact on fashion. The neighborhoods are: Chinatown, The East Village, The Upper East Side and Harlem. (And I'd like to point out that the b-roll that accompanied these towns did NOT show anything historic or fashion related. GRRR... Basic producing, people...)
OOO! Emilio has the losing soundbite slot about how he HAS to win because he's from NYC! YAY! I can't stand Emilio ever since his washer-bikini was allowed to stay on the runway. (Of course, that's not his fault, it's soundly the fault of the the judges and PRODUCERS.) He says if he doesn't win it'll be really disappointing for him and his "people." (I think they'll get over it. Just a hunch.)
Tim CONTINUES (holy talk fest) saying that he has exciting news and they'll be working in teams. AND OF COURSE they have to do 2 looks. A look for day and a look for night and their budget is $300.
Here's how the parings/neighborhoods break down:
Anthony & Maya = Chinatown
Amy & Jonathan = Upper East Side
Emilio & Seth Aaron = Harlem
Jay & Mila = East Village
Jay: "I'm stuck with Mila." He's horrified. Is this where the drama will come in that the Liftime promo PROMISED in this episode? I wonder...
Ugh... now Collier talks about how he's going to help expand their design with product placement. Isn't this a given every week? Can we just be happy with the montage of product instead of yapping about it? As a viewer, this is DULL and wastes my time. Move it along! (And this is a lot of talking for such a bland location. I wish this had been outside!)
They get 30 minutes to explore their neighborhood (yeah, cuz that's how easy it is to tour NYC, folks!) and sketch then they'll meet at Mood. Tim tells them to "Run off to your neighborhoods!" Um, Harlem isn't a run. It's a solid subway ride. ...Sigh...
Emilio & Seth Aaron arrive in Harlem and Emilio is so happy to be back in his neighborhood. He missed the smell. Okay? Then Emilio says that Harlem is about churches and of course, the b-roll is of something that is not a church. GOOD JOB PRODUCERS. But they get b-roll of liquor stores and the fried chicken spots he speaks of! 2 out of 3 ain't bad. HAHHAA! As they walk down the street they compliment some lady on her shoes. FINALLY! Something candid! Emilio explains that 99% of the population in Harlem wears denim. They find a great mosaic art piece on a wall and decide that will be their inspiration. PHEW. Cuz at one point, the way this was going, I thought they were going to use a piece of fried chicken as inspiration....
Brown Sugar & Maya in Chinatown! They decide that Chinatown reminds them of structure. Yes! Maya then reveals in a soundbite that Anthony is keeping her silly and that she needs a dose of that. Awww! That's sweet!
Amy & Jonathan embrace their inner Gossip Girl and head up to the upper east side. Jonathan explains the upper east side as luxurious and high end. They notice that the UES has very few people/movement and the architecture is stark. Jonathan then ponders who that will mix with Amy's sense of fashion (remember her "clown" pants?). They are inspired by the wrought iron and want to use that with Jonathan's cutaway technique.
Jay & Mila hit the East Village. Jay just really wants to acknowledge that part of his challenge is accepting Mila. They walk aronud and marvel at the rock-n-roll/grittiness of the village. Mila finds Jay scattered. (Is it because he never said, "I want to color block?")
MOOD! Shopping for 2 looks... $300.... Basic sum-up of events here: Nobody likes the textile the other chooses. Thank you Moooooooooooooooooooooooood!
Back at Parsons...
HOLD THE FREAKIN' PHONE. ANOTHER ONE DAY CHALLENGE??? FOR TWO LOOKS? Especially when time was wasted with travel and shopping in the morning? OMG. F you, producers. This is unacceptable. Tim also says that the team leader will most likely go home for any messes. UM... unless this is a mislead, this really gives the second team partner a pass on being at all helpful this week. Sigh...
The groups get to work. Maya's control issues come up... drama?
First Commercial break... That was a long Act 1... as in "boring."
Back in the workroom...
Design... design... design... explanations of work...
Maya insults Jay be insinuating that she's an artist and he's not. Emilio has to keep an eye on Seth Aaron because he's so fast with his sewing and who knows what he'll come back with if Emilio doesn't keep him in check. Maya and Jay pretend they are married and do not talk. (I kid!) Jonathan & Amy are getting lost in their details and Jonathan worries they won't get done in time.
OH goodies... Mr. Clean gives lame make-up consultations... BORING. Thank GOD they are in teams so this at least goes by faster than if they were individuals.
Tim Gunn comes in and starts with Emilio and Seth Aaron. (Do the designers even have anything to really show Tim at this point??) They have a bit of a jacket and a sketch of their "Cotton Club" dress. Tim likes it and moves on. (OH DEAR LORD, even the Tim Gunn portion of the show is deadly boring... THIS IS UNFAIR TO POOR TIM GUNN!)
Next Tim talks to Anthony & Maya. All they have a is a small texture detail and a sketch to show Tim. Tim likes a striped fabric (that Maya earlier poo-poo'd) and says that could be a jacket. Maya says: "It could." AND THERE is no follow up soundbite from Jay explaining her two-facedness. PRODUCERS! HELLO!!
Jay & Mila are next. Jay explains the pant he's making and where it will be "full" and Tim reminds him, "Will either Nina or Heidi say, 'What woman wants to look full there?'" Jay assures him it won't come to that. Then they show more sketches since they have nothing. Tim asks about the neckline on a garment and they admit they are still "talking" about it. Tim quips, "SOMEONE is going home." Jay says, "Don't look at me!" Hmmm...
Amy & Jonathan are last on Tim Gunn's tour. They have more to show and explain than the other groups and Tim cautions them: "Are you at risk of over designing?" Amy laughs and they silently agree. Tim reminds them to focus on the look of the garment and not focus on over detailing.
Sew... sew... sew...... snooze snooze snooze.... Models come in and really the designers are nowhere near ready to fit them. BECAUSE ITS A ONE DAY CHALLENGE for 2 looks! (BAH!)
WAIT... is Jay making The Jock Strap Pants Part 2?? OMG... fugly.
(PS - I NEED Seth Aaron to make me a jacket. NEED.)
Models leave... sew sew sew. It's 10:30pm! Good lord, the designers are scrambling... Emilio laughs at Mila & Jay. Since he got to choose his partner before Jay did, he knew someone else would get Mila and it's "working as planned."
Nobody is doing well on time. NOBODY.
Jonathan: "We're f***ed."
Commercial break #2...
All the designers are stressing out about time - I feel so badly for them! They should have more time!
Tim enters and even he's so bored by his 7-year-old speech that he says: "You know the drill with the Bluefly wall." HA!
Sew sew panic sew models boring comment sew sew hair make-up and everyone is screwed.
Uh... what's with the "plane swooping overhead" sound effect going on here when Mila's talking about how she's going to throw Jay under the bus on the runway? Hmm? I honestly thought, "Wow, did sound not pick up that a plane was going by overhead?" But then heard it used a few times. My opinion - lame effect. Has NOTHING to do with a design work room!
Jonathan and Amy are literally sewing their models into their outfits...
Commercial break #3...
Sitting in for Michael Kors, Francisco Kosta from Calvin Klein.
"Up yours, Kors. You're auf'd."
Guest judge: Molly Sims!
Molly: "Dammit, Nina and I wore the same hair.
Let's start the show!
Emilio & Seth Aaron - Harlem:
Heidi is in love with both pieces. I have to agree. For one day MY LORD. What the hell would happen if you gave Seth Aaron two days?? OMG! The possibilities are staggering. Although, I need to say that while I LOVE all his jackets, they are all starting to look a little similar and I'd love to see him design the hell out of a structured shirt instead of a jacket, just for a change of pace (and to avoid the "one trick pony" pigeon hole). I haven't seen anybody be this inventive with denim since the Levi's challenge that Christian won way back when Project Runway was run by professional producers. (Can you tell I have issues?)
Calvin Klein guy says he wishes the dress had been a bit shorter but then Heidi points out that to be sexier you just lift that zipper a little higher. (NOW we know why she has so many kids...) Nina thinks that SA overfussed the details of the jacket and had he left a few out, the denim look would have been classier. Molly Sims loved it all.
Okay... I hate Emilio but now I kinda like him. It looks like he was a good team leader in that he DID bring color into SA's usually very drab/dark color choice and it is definitely the color in the daytime look that makes the outfit pop. They really meshed as a team and I feel like they really worked well and efficiently together. Good job, guys!
Anthony & Maya:
Okay... gotta say it. HATE the day look. WELL MADE but those two items do NOT go together at all in my world. (Granted, my world is jeans, wifebeaters and hoodies, so there you go.) I see the Chinatown influences in both and both are WELL made. But woof to the first outfit. Big miss in cohesion in my (non-sewing-or-design-experience) book. I like them separately, not together.
Nina loves it! She loves the touches and details but wishes there were more colors in the detail. Everybody really likes it and agrees that both are well made.
Heidi asks what it was like working together. Brown Sugar tells the judges: "Don't let that pretty face fool you. If she doesn't like something she will surely let you know."
(SIDE NOTE: WHERE IS ALL THE DRAMA THE PROMO PROMISED?!?! Ugh...) Maybe in the review of the bottom designs...
Jay & Mila - East Village:
Nina loves the nighttime look. I do to, had I not seen it a million times from Mila already. (She and Seth Aaron both have definite signatures that rock, but I think they need to make sure they don't get repetitive...) But Nina calls out the top on the day look as looking like a leotard. And thank goodness Heidi called out the day looks lack of structure for the boobs. Yeeps. It's a free for all up in there ya'll!
CK guy loves the pants and shirt together. Molly can't get past the bad tank top.
When Heidi asked how it was working together Jay said they worked together "professionally." It's true. There was no yelling. NO word from Mila?
Jonathan & Amy - Upper East Side:
Sigh... I want to like these. I really do. But the leggings really make that top look ridiculous and the dress reminds me too much of the Gwyneth Paltrow disaster she wore to the Oscars years ago.
Awwww - they talk about how much love and respect they have for each other as designers. How lovely! They really did work well together, just victims of time.
Nina calls the daywear look out as looking unpolished. Molly hates the color of the shirt and CK guy suggests making the shirt white with a straight leg pant to get more of an UES look to it. Heidi calls it an eyesore.
They all like Jonathan's nighttime outfit better, but Nina calls out the paneling as making the dress look heavy and cheap.
The winner of this challenge is EMILIO.... AND SETH AARON! Seth Aaron says in a soundbite that this is a PR first in that there's a double winner.
Seth Aaron: "But remember we don't get immunity."
Emilio: "Who cares? I'm still here after my washer-bikini.
Emilio: "Who cares? I'm still here after my washer-bikini.
Luck is on my side! Or the blackmail is working..."
And auf'd this week... Amy. Booo. But I get it. I think she's a designer who needs more time and the one-day challenges are just not her friend. Bye, Amy! At least you get to show at Fashion Week!
OH! Jonathan is crying that she's leaving - OOOH! Sad!
PS - Anybody notice that make-up was never mentioned in this MAKE-UP even though it was part of the challenge? Sigh... AND THERE WAS NO DRAMA ANYWHERE! BOOO!
Next week on Project Runway - More crap!
MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:
Brittany is chosen over Holly. (Holly wore Jonathan's evening look.) Auf she goes...
Next week on MOTR - More crap!
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