Um.... About that Project Runway Blog....

Dearest Readers,

I need to be honest with you: I am a bad blogger.  ("Bad" as in "producing content," not as in "content produced."  I hope.)  I didn't get to write my review of Project Runway's part 1 of the finale, much less the actual finale that aired last week.  The reasoning?  I'm just not feeling it.  

Bunim/Murray has sucked the life out of the show.  It's edited quite flatly, there's very little suspense and what suspense there is feels "built" in the edit bay.  In short, "BOOOO."

I loved that Seth Aaron won, however!  I love his attention to detail and the construction of his pieces are AMAZING.  I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the dynamic he has with his family.  I am SO GLAD that the good guy won!  I'm so sad that he had to suffer through the bad production practices of a sub-par production company.  I really hope that he comes out with a line of jackets.  Not since Jillian have I been so in love with a jacket.

I wish Mila had come in second.  Emilio's second place "win" was undeserved.  My sister nailed it when she said, "He just designed a nice line for Kohl's."  And nothing against Kohl's, but that's not really the aim of a line at Fashion Week.  I read on one of Mila's tweets that someone suggested she work for White House/Black Market.  YES!  Perfect!  And once someone builds a store called "Smug For No Reason," I can see Emilio finding a home for his (safe) life there.

The reunion show was also quite dull except for a few moments:  Emilio's complete lack of anything likable about his personality, especially when arguing why he dropped his model Holly; Anthony's extremely insincere apology to Mila for calling her a 50+ year-old hag; Ping's wailing; and Jay snapping at Cerri that she has fat legs and crooked teeth.  (PS - I now HATE Jay as I adore Cerri. I am now glad he did NOT make it to Fashion Week.)  And sadly, this paragraph reads more interestingly than the actual 22 minutes of the show.

....Sigh.....

So I apologize for not making it work.  My blogs take hours and hours to write and I couldn't give Bunim/Murray my time to help promote their less than stellar job with this season.  I wish them the best of luck in Season 8.  I hope they take a class on how to tell a story.  I hope they open up the challenges to 2-days so we can see more interaction and talent ability from the new designers.  I hope they get an editor who isn't fresh out of college and can actually cut a show with some energy and power behind it.  Yes.  I have opinions. 

So PLEASE make sure you go to MyLifetime to view the episodes and lines and then go to Blogging Project Runway to read recaps and hear podcasts with the finalists!  And hopefully, by the time season 8 rolls around, I'll feel invigorated to keep blogging about this show.  Because it just keeps getting harder and harder...

Hugs and hoodies,

Jennifer (Eolin)

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 12 - "Big Top, Big Egos"

Last time on Project Runway:

* The show lets us know, "No REALLY, Heidi is a HUGE celebrity!"

(And not just because she's HUGELY pregnant...)

* Maya quits the show due to being sick of me confusing her name with Mila's

(And fighting with Mila for flat iron time in the morning.)

* Anthony is the new Chris March

(Squeeee!)

* Emilio is the new Kenley

(Don't you talk sass to my Tim Gunn!)

* IN:  New Kenley (BOO!) 

AND 

New Chris March (YAY!)

* OUT: Jonathan and model Cerri are auf'd

* The New Old Biddy has notes.

(As per usual...)

*****

We open in the Atlas Apartments, Anthony is being delightful whilst next door Mila sadly straight irons her hair in somber silence.  Oh how I miss the expresiionless, monotone non-banter Maya and Mila use to have:  

Maya: "I'm really tired."

Mila: "Yeah.  Me too."

Silence except for the sizzle of the flat irons...

Maya: "Your bangs look nice."

Mila: "Yeah.  Me too."

Sigh.  The good old days of last week...

On the runway at Parsons Heidi tells the designers that they are designing for her again.  I KID! She tells them that this challenge will determine who is going to Fashion Week.  (FINALLY!)  She sends them to a tent, to which the designers find themselves at Ringling Brothers Circus.  Their challenge is to "Create a runway look inspired by the circus."  (I hope the BlueFly wall thoughtfully supplies the designers with big floppy red shoes...) 

Cue the ringmaster and tons of acts that all perform at once, making the scene just look chaotic and unhinged as all three rings are combined into one.  Shirtless tumblers (hubba hubba), clowns, motorcycles and whatnot fill the space with activity and skill that I know I can never accomplish.  The best quote of the night, nay SERIES, is when a clown throws water on another clown, Anthony sincerely gasps: "All over your rhinestones!"  Anthony, you really are the king of sound bites this season!

"Ta daaaaa!  Now leave."

Tim comes back out and tells the designers they have 30 minutes to sketch and remember, this IS NOT A COSTUME.  Then its off to Mood with $300 to shop.  And guess what, kids?  It's a 2-day challenge!  HOORAY!  (Considering they had to go to Coney Island, then to Mood, it had to be like 3pm or later when they got back to Parsons...)

Emilio (aka New Kenley due to his disdain for all of Tim Gunn's advice) is running his mouth about how great he is while in line at Mood, "I am banging them out!" (OH MY!)  Then he states in the workroom: "Come hard or go home," and "You gotta come hard!"  (Okay, maybe he's the New Vincent...?)  Either way, Emilio is clearly the jerk of the season.  BOOO EMILIO.  You blow in a very non-plussing manner.  (I need to work on my double entendres...)

Mila calls Emilio out on bragging about winning.  UM... Mila.  Babydoll.  Honeybunny.  We need to chat.  (And by chat, I mean, I will do all the talking.)  Do you not remember GLOATING as you walked into the green room after winning challenges to a couch full of pissed designers earlier this season?  Hmmm?  Do you remember that?  In short: Pot, meet Kettle.

"Hi!  Do you have a Facebook page?"

Sew sew sew....  And now for something unexpected.  I am going to compliment the production company, Bunim/Murray.  (I know.  You might want to sit down.)  This episode is actually... GOOD.  There's story, there's character, there's a natural build in tension.  And you know why?  Because A) it's a 2 day challenge for a change! and B) with 5 people, the producers are finally able to narrow down the stories being told.  (Okay, part B is a back-handed compliment...)  But I'm into this episode.  I have favorites and those I hate.  PERFECT!  Only took 12 episodes to get there, guys!  (Oy.)

Moving on...  Tim Gunn arrives for critiques!

Tim starts with Seth Aaron.  SA says he was inspired by the ringmaster and shows Tim his plans for an over the top jacket and pants combo, "And I'm making a top hat,"  Tim urges him to remember: "NO costume."  

Next is Emilio's Ego.  He's using a black and white striped fabric very similar to SA's.  He's making a gown and Tim reminds him that black and white isn't very circus-like.  Don't forget color!  Emilio whines like a 4-year-old and fights back, "I've never done black and white, Tim!"  Tim gives him support and Emilio mocks him back to his face by imitating Tim's "encouragement fist."  (That's my name for it anyway...)

"I encourage you!"

"I'll see your 'encouragement fist'

and raise you a 'douche bag fist.'"

Next is Anthony who I swear makes the word "Tim" into two syllables.  "Hiiiiii, Tee-im."  Yes?  Anthony is making a blue gown (inspired by one of the acrobats costumes).  He's the only one using blue as everyone else is using black, red, white and gold.  He's still constructing the garment's overall look and Tim cautions him to "let his viscera rule" on what feels right and wrong.  Anthony informs Tim that he's going to get a dictionary when he gets home so he can understand Tim better.  HA!

Nobody said "viscera" was pretty, 

just wise.

Mila is next.  She's going with a coat (which seems very Seth Aaron in style btw...)  He gives her some tips on fabric choices and she is the exact opposite of Emilio and is actually gracious and seems appreciative of his counsel.  

Jay tells Tim that he's mixing the ringleader with the clowns and is going for an exaggerated look.  He wants it to look "bad bitch."  Tim asks: "Is there such a thing as a good bitch?"  Jay chirps: "I'm a good bitch!"  And then he clicked his heels and said "There's no place like home."  (Okay, that last bit didn't happen, but the bad bitch in me wished it had for humor's sake!)

Sew sew sew.....  Midnight!  Morning!  More sewing!

Models come in and SA expresses doubt about Mila's super shiny outfit and Emilio realizes that TIM WAS RIGHT and he needs more color.  Of course he doesn't say it this way, but that's what we all know happened.  

After the models leave, Anthony comments on Jay's jacket: "Oh you're making a Michael Jackson coat!"  Jay is horrified.  And well he should be:

Mila: "I hope your model moonwalks 

down the runway."

RUNWAY DAY!

Lots of bites about how excited the designers are and how they have their eye on the prize.  Seth Aaron is actually "butterflies in the stomach" nervous for the day.  

Sew sew sew sew....

Anthony is having fitting problems with his model.  The wings on the gown are too big.  (I can hear your viscera screaming from here, Anthony!)  

Sew sew sew.... panic and hope... sew sew sew....

RUNWAY TIME!  Heidi greets them and lets them know that 2 of them will be auf'd.  Only 3 are going to Fashion Week.

Anthony: "I hope my viscera doesn't make an appearance

on the runway or the floor..."

Guest judge, Cynthia Rowley:

"No, I'm not Sarah Jessica Parker.

Stop asking me that."

LET'S START THE SHOW!

JAY:

SHAMONE!   I mean, OMG, that's not pretty unless she's about to start up a Michael Jackson tribute marching band...

Heidi makes Jay take off the jacket and the comment about how the outfit without the jacket is a great ensemble that is beautifully made.  True... BUT THAT JACKET!!  AHHHH!

MILA:

This is quite possibly the ugliest outfit of the season.  And does anybody else see a bad parody of Ziggy Stardust in this garment?  Am I alone on this?

"It's Rock-n-Roll Suicide to copy me."

Kors LIKES it and says it's not a costume.  WHA----?  Thank goodness, Nina isn't completely on board with this disaster.  (PHEW!  I was beginning to worry about my viscera's point of view....)  Cynthia would like less collar and shine, but in general, "I like it."

Ugh.  I don't get it...

ANTHONY:

I like this look... but where is the circus?  I like the movement and the design.  Wish the waist weren't so "got caught in my Spanx" looking though.

OH ANTHONY - stop apologizing for your look!  That just tips them off that there are bigger problems.  

Nina likes it from the waist up, but the waist down is a "snooze" and that it's poorly made.  Kors wants to know the fabric type.  He gets out of his seat and finds out it's POLYESTER, to which Kors comments: "She's like a big blue condom."  

EMILIO:

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!  HORRIBLE!  THOSE SHOES!  THE DOTS!  I'm having Moulin Rouge inspired panic attacks:

Kick your heels up, step in time!

OH wait... wrong musical.

He tells them it's five yards of fabric with polka dots for whimsy's sake. Heidi thinks the dress is absolutely stunning. (HUH?)  Cynthia calls it "genius."  (WHAT?)  Kors calls it his favorite garment of the season.  (ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME DAMN EPISODE?!)  Nina thinks this dress speaks to women.  Yes.  Okay, agreed.  It does speak to me.  And it's telling me to run away or I'll die from consumption.

Needless to say, Emilio's ego now joins America in its fight against obesity...  Sigh....

SETH  AARON:

OMG.  No.  THIS is the ugliest outfit of the season.  And it pains me to say it.  But who wants to look like a member of Beetlejuice's bridal party?  HMMM?

"It's a good look.  C'mon!"

Seth Aaron says he designed off emotion with this look as he was soooo happy at the circus.  So, SA, why did you design a straight jacket if you were so happy?  

Heidi likes the look.  Nina likes the drama and fantasy about it, but does call it out for being a bit costume-like.  Cynthia likes that the outfit defies gravity as appreciates the circus theme/inspiration.  Now for Kors: " I think the pants, we have crazy crotch.  I think they might fit you better.  That perhaps a gentleman might have something to fill the trouser out."  (Wow, between the "big blue condom" remark and this, someone really has sausage on the brain today...)   He goes on to say that the jacket is very strong and he appreciates that.

HOW HAS NOBODY POINTED OUT THAT GIRLFRIEND HAS NO HANDS???  BAH!  Tailored extremely well, yes!  But SHE HAS NO HANDS.  

Then they ask everybody why they deserve to go to Fashion Week (dumb question) and who should go with them.  SA picks Emilio and Jay to go to FW.  Jay wants to go to FW w/ SA and tearfully mentions Anthony.  Awwww!  Mila wants to compete against Emilio and SA.  Emilio picks the "strongest because he likes to compete with the best" and chooses SA and Mila.  Anthony's viscera wants Emilio and Jay to join him at Fashion Week.

And now... the results!

Emilio... is going to Fashion Week.  Sigh.  I get it and his ego should provide some good entertainment for the finale.  Okay.  I'm on board.  BUT OMG THAT DRESS IS JUST A TRASHY CAN CAN DRESS!  BAH!

Seth Aaron... is going to Fashion Week!  YAY!  I love his stuff and his style.  Just remember to give your girls hands, sweets!

Anthony... is auf'd.  That makes me a sad panda, but I see why.  I hope he continues to design!

That leaves Jay and Mila standing on the runway.

Mila ... is going to Fashion Week.  AND so is Jay.  But they are giving them the "Chris March" treatment and making them compete for the FW spot in two months based on their collections they bring back.  UNFAIR!  I hate that!  PICK ONE!  BOO!  

But now this biddy is happy as next week is my favorite episode of each season... Tim Gunn visits the designers at home!  I hope he says "egads" or something else equally as quaint and adorable this time around. Squeeeee!  

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:

Brittany and Brandise get along about as well as Republicans and Democrats do.  Lame drama to fill in a half hour show about nothing.  And not in that Seinfeld sort of nothing way...

On the runway, Seth Aaron sticks with Kristina.  Mila stays with Brandise, Jay stays with Brittany, and Emilio... stays with Lorena.  SO PREDICTABLE!  This whole program could have been 30 seconds long.  Ugh.  Poor Monique is out.  I thought she did a good job all season.

Back at the models' apartment, the show ends when the designers show up with champagne (and cider!) and they all toast their victory before all going their separate ways:

Here's to a great finale!

Or The New Old Biddy will ridicule us...

******

Check out MyLifetime and Tim Gunn's blog!

Bookmark and read Blogging Project Runway daily!

Keep track of the auction on the official Project Runway page!

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

And join the Save Season 8 of Project Runway page!

Until next week - MAKE IT WORK!

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 11 - "A Sew Sew Episode"

This episode could have been amazing.

This episode should have been hyped from the very beginning 

and left us honestly wondering, "Who walks out??" all season long.

The sound bite: "We don't have a winner for this challenge," 

should have also been teased mercilessly.

10 designers should NOT have showed at Fashion Week 

because it ruined the suspense and story of the remaining season.

(OMG.  I can't say this one enough...)

And finally, I should be crowned "Queen of Knowing How to Fix Everything."  

*****

We open in the apartment and we are beaten over the head with, "We miss Anthony," and "the competition is hard."  And Maya is given the "going home" sound bite slot.  Ugh...  The predictability of this show is overwhelming. 

With six left, Heidi tells them that they'll be making a look for a celebrity.  OH NO.... Why do I have a feeling that the celebrity... is Heidi?  Because I'm right.  Tim Gunn introduces Heidi.  DIDN'T THIS CHALLENGE ALREADY HAPPEN?  And didn't Brown Sugar win and that dress is the cover of Marie Claire right NOW?  WHAT THE HELL, BUNIM-MURRAY???  How cheap are you??  (Or "How many people will have nothing to do with the show now that you morons run it?" may be the better question...)

Heidi: "Yep, it's me again.  Try not to yawn."

Tim: "I contend that I'm doing my best."

Heidi leaves and Tim gives them 30 minutes to sketch, then they will go to Mood to shop with $300.  And CUE the bad directing and bad story producing from our enemies at Bunim-Murray.  All of a sudden, Maya's work station is empty.  NOBODY comments on this either in real time or in a sound bite.  They just all happily sketch and assume that Maya must have eaten some bad Chinese food and is having an extended stay in the loo as NOBODY seems concerned to here whereabouts.   We see a door close as if to cheat that Maya's just left, but they already showed a shot of the workroom, and she was already missing... I hate when continuity isn't a primary concern in a (bad) producer's mind.  The audience isn't stupid.  Don't screw with your timeline if you can't do it properly.

And then... to beat us about the head with the fact that Maya is missing since none of the designers have seemed to notice... the empty dress form:

Due to a horrible accident, 

Maya lost both of her arms.

And her head.

After the other designers calmly discuss their plans for their outfits (Jonathan is taking the angle of, "design something really ugly and the judges will probably love it."  HA!) when Tim Gunn comes back in the room with Maya and she announces that she's leaving the competition because she doesn't feel ready yet to go all the way if she made it to Bryant Park since she just got out of design school and she's still figuring out who she is as a designer.  Which is too bad as she has skills for days.  

Tim: "My goodness, you're short.

In stature and in confidence."

Maya seems really calm about her decision.  There are no tears.  Just relief.  I have a feeling that she's going to sleep for about a week.  I can't even imagine how battered these guys are with these quick turn-arounds.  I can barely sew a button in five minutes, I can't imagine putting together a red carpet dress in 10 hours.

Emilio gives a mean sound bite about how "Quitters never win."  (But cheaters do, right Emilio??  WHERE WAS YOUR ACCESSORY, MISTER!?!?)  And then Seth Aaron gave a beautiful sound bite to back Maya up in her decision: "You know we work 18 to 20 hours a day, 7 days a week.  You're pretty much drained all the time.  So anybody sitting at home saying, 'Oh my God, I can't believe Maya quit,' you know, fuck off.  You have no clue.  Don't judge.  You come here and try it."

"I got your back, Maya."

I'm rooting for you, Maya!  Keep designing and sewing!  And come back to Season 8, maybe?  

So this leaves 5 designers in the work room instead of 6.  But first things first (while the producers scramble to get their ducks in a row...)  OFF TO MOOD!

"Can I color block this?"

Thank you Mooooooood!

Back to Parsons.  And Tim has an announcement that we all knew was coming.  (Well, for anybody who's watched the show before, we know who's coming back.)  Chris March is back!  I mean.... BROWN SUGAR!  YAY ANTHONY who announces: "I have a second chance at greatness!"

"Look out, Beyonce, Brown Sugar is BACK!"

Tim gives Anthony 30 minutes to sketch, then off to Mood and he will be allowed to work later than the other designers so he has the same amount of time to create his look for Heidi.  However, Tim isn't going to Mood with Anthony to which Anthony states: "But Tim, it won't be the same if you're not there to say, 'Anthony, don't pick that!'"

Sew sew sew sew sew.....  Jonathan explains his frustration with only having one day to do a red carpet dress for Heidi.  AMEN.  LAME LAME LAME.  Especially with the changes in the lineup. 

Sewing and explanations... 

The Tim comes back into the work room and calls Seth Aaron outside.  Mila states: "And the day just keeps getting weirder and weirder."  But there's no suspense in the work room.  The mood seems "business as usual" which is frustrating as a viewer.  BUNIM-MURRAY!  Really?  This is lame producing.

Seth Aaron returns and let's everyone know that his model, Valeria, decided to take the DKNY gig afterall:

"Seth Aaron, call me when you get NY after your name."

But my favorite model, Cerri, gets to come back!  YAY!

"I hope Seth Aaron gets pale."

Again, we have some pretty exciting stuff happening on the show and A) we don't see any of the conversation between Tim and Seth Aaron, we just hear it after SA has processed the info, we never get to see his original reaction to the news,  B) We also don't see any reaction from the models (we have to wait until 11pm which I'm not inclined to do at this point) and C) BORING EXECUTION OF DRAMA!  Ugh!  So angering!

Sew sew sew... And in another highlight that could have been teased from the top of the season: "Heidi visits the work room for the first time in Project Runway history!"  

Heidi: "That's ugly, right?"
Tim: "Yet amusing!"

First up, Seth Aaron.  He's making a black gown with Seth Aaron signature touches.  Heidi gives the advice: "There's nothing wrong with black, simple and long.  But I feel like there needs to be a little more something somewhere."  Awesome.  

Anthony is making a dress that could double as a black & white cookie.  It looks gorgeous (and tasty!).  He explains the fall of the dress to Heidi and that it will "move."  Tim calls it "potentially exciting"!  HAHA!

Kenley... oops, I mean Emilio, is next.  He explains how he needs to extend the sequined dress by sewing it on a bias.  Heidi yells, "It's going to be very very difficult!" To wit Tim punctuates with, "Mm-hmm!"

Jay is next.  He explains the ruffles and Heidi warns him that women don't like to look bigger than they are.  Heidi then has to give him an anatomy lesson on boobs since he seems to think there's a large gap between them. 

Heidi: "See, these are boobs."

Tim: "I'm going to be sick."

Mila shows her dress to Heidi and worries it's too simple.  Heidi says it's not too simple, "But are the other dresses better?"  

Jonathan is last and he shows his cut-away fabric he's done, complimented with a coral fabric.  Heidi likes the coral, but thinks the cut-away textile looks like curtains.  Yeeks.  All that time Jonathan put into this effect, down the drain.  8 hours.  Gone.  But she loves the coral color.  Tim reminds him that he has 4 hours to show his versatility after the critique.  Ugh.  What a stomach punch!

Jonathan explains that the dress Heidi wants would take a week to complete - thank you for saying that!!  If only it were a 2 day challenge, maybe he'd have a chance.

The models come in and they calmly react to Maya leaving.  UGH.  Really?  Is everyone on Xanax??

Jonathan starts a second dress... doesn't like it... starts a third dress.  

Let's jump to the runway... the rest is just technical sewing and whatnot that is just not exciting at all, even though it should be given the Valeria/Maya exit and the Anthony/Cerri comeback!

THE RUNWAY:

On the runway Heidi introduces Kors, Garcia and their "celebrity" judge (WHY COULDN'T SHE BE THE CELEB THEY WERE DESIGNING FOR???) Jessica Alba:

Jessica: "They just found me shopping in Macy's about 2  minutes ago.

I had nothing else going on, so here I am."

Let's start the show!

JAY:

Jay states as the dress goes down the runway: "I guess I like big butts!"

Heidi loves the corset but the volume on the bottom is too much.  Kors reminds Jay that no woman wants to look like she has big hips.  Nina agrees that she looks wide when she's a tiny girl.  Jessica agrees.  I think the whole thing is a disaster.  While it's well made, it's got too much going on and not much that's flattering.   Despite this, Jay's safe and continues on to next week.

MILA:

OH dear.  Who took this picture and thought it was okay to post.  She looks like a deer in headlights..  And also, why does she look so WIDE??

Jessica likes the dress and mentions that she wears them a lot (not a compliment to Mila's design as it's BEEN DONE which is something that Maya got knocked for with her elements dress, but Mila escapes the same criticism??) but the bust is too wide.  Kors agrees, and so do I.  UGH.  Awful.  Her boobs look like they need a leash.  Nina comments that it looks like something one of the Houswives of NJ would wear.  (OUCH but HAAHAHAHAAA!)

Heidi calls it simple and not a show stopper.  But Mila squeaks by AGAIN and continues on to next week.

SETH AARON:

First of all, anybody else think that Cerri is a combo of Kate Moss & Marilyn Monroe?  Seriously, this girl is gorgeous!

Nina criticizes SA for over-thinking the design and that it may not be that flattering on Heidi.  Kors gives a backwards compliment about how this dress would be on the girl handing you the trophy, but not on the winner.  Okay?  I love it, but I know that I would look VERY hippy in it and not in that sexy way that it would look on a curvy gal.  Jessica says it's not like a dress she's ever seen on Heidi. (UM, isn't that the point?!)   Heidi wants more cleavage and wow.  Either way, Seth Aaron is safe!   PHEW!

WINNER - EMILIO!  (GRR!)

Emilio says he was inspired by the fabric because it looks like liquid gold.  And yeah, this will look great with flashbulbs going off around it.  I hate that Emilio made a show stopper and deserved the win.  He pisses me off so much...

Kors calls it "impeccable" and compliments the styling of the model.  (Who does look gorgeous in this dress, but I worry that anybody bigger than a size negative 0 might not look as good in this...)  Heidi loves that it's sexy and has an amazing fit.  Nina congratulates him on not making this look cheap.  

AND THE SECOND WINNER - ANTHONY!  (YAY!)

Heidi loves his dress to which Anthony proclaims (in the spirit of Easter), "Oh Jesus."  Jessica loves the flow and movement.  Kors tells Anthony that he's "finally in your zone!"  Nina agrees that its definitely a red carpet dress.  And the reason this also wins is because Jessica would like to wear it.  GO ANTHONY!  Cover of Marie Claire and a dress on the red carpet.  Outstanding!  Welcome back!  

AUF'D... JONATHAN:

Too short, too sloppy and FABULOUS SHOES!  Jonathan explains that this is the third dress, which explains why it looks rushed.  Kors says you can see it.  Nina hates the colors and tells him that it won't photograph.  So Jonathan is out... I get it.  Jay and Mila's were tailored better than his...  Sigh...

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:  Uuuuuuuuuuuuughh.  Cerri is cut again.  BOOOO!

******

Make sure to check out Blogging Project Runway,

MyLifetime and Project Runway for more inside scoop and blogs!

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

Join the group: Save Season 8 of Project Runway!

We need you now more than ever!

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 10 - "The Fabric of our Lives"

I actually got to watch Project Runway last night at my sister's apartment (instead of waiting until Saturday to watch online).  So I am A) blogging from my (vague and aging) memory B) blogging furiously fast as I'm about to become an aunt (literally any minute now) and C) OMG I AM ABOUT TO BE AN AUNT.  Tim who??  (I kid!  Nothing can come between me and my Tim... Tim... give me a minute... Rifle?  Revolver?  Musket??)

Tim:  "Really?  You can't remember my name? 

I assert that I don't buy it."

The challenge this week was to design their own textile and I I LOVED that the designers got to make their own pattern for their fabric.  LOVED!  I want to use a paintbrush on a screen!  I want to create fabric patterns for hoodies!  Is there an app for that??

Vivienne Tam: "Hi.  Insert blatant HP commercial here.

Yeah, I'm not happy about it either."

Tim Pistola: "I've always wanted an awkward prom picture."

I must say that when Seth Aaron got the "phone call home" segment I almost threw up my dinner.  I proclaimed to the room (which included my very pregnant sister, her husband and 2 snoozing dogs), "IF SETH AARON GOES HOME I AM DONE WITH PROJECT RUNWAY FOREVER!"  To which they proclaimed, "Yes yes, now shut up."  (The dogs just continued to snore...)

So let's just get to the runway as my brain is making little sense of much else right now because I AM ABOUT TO BECOME AN AUNT!

"Giving birth... big whoop.  I do it in heels."

SAFE:

Me no like.  The green textile is only moderately appealing and the whole thing put together like this makes her look like she's Queen of the Attractive Lizard People.  But overall, Jay does good work, this look is well made and thought through (he was going for a militia vibe).  So safe it is.  

TOP 2:

MAYA:

I don't get it.  This looks like what Pebbles from The Flintstones would wear if she decided to become a cavewoman of ill repute.  The judges LOVED this pattern.  I think it's okay?  Yeah?  Maybe?  I dunno.  The whole look together doesn't send me.  

SETH AARON:

SQUEEE!  He didn't go home!  Well done, Producers!  A proper fake-out!

LOVE these pants.  And holy crap can this man make a good jacket.  However, I do home he changes it up as our fan fave who goes home this week goes home for presenting the "same thing week after week."  So even though it's awesome, I worry...

WINNER - Emilio:

Hmmmm.  I would pick SA's outfit over this.   But Kors went batty for the logo which is ESOSA (which the "O" is a heart in the textile) which stands for his name: Emilio Sosa.   OH - flashback - favorite part of the show is when Tim Howitzer said: "Emilio Sosa loves Seth Aaron?"  HAHAHA!  Emilio assured him that the textile wasn't proclaiming love to anybody except himself.  Tim then said he had to adjust his thinking.  HA!

The jacket on the model looks pretty big.  I will thoughtfully say that I am not a fan of the shoes with this look either.  AND, while I love the blue, I hate the print.  I don't want writing (scrawling?) all over my dress.  I want people to look at me in the dress and appreciate it, not try to read it and then wonder if it comes with Cliff Notes to expain what the hell I'm wearing.

And PS - I'm still pissed that Emilio wasn't auf'd from the Hardware Challenge.  That's still straight up bullshit and this biddy is holding a grudge.  PHOOEY!

And PS - Tim BoomBoomMaker hates it too!  Read his blog!

BOTTOM 2:

MILA:

Speaking of grudges... I'm holding a new one now since this piece of kakadoodoo wasn't sent home!  THIS IS THE UGLIEST THING I HAVE SEEN IN AGES.  The coat = hideous.  The dress is a teepee that even Rainbow Brite would find garish and to top it off BRANDISE CAN'T WALK IN IT AT ALL.  (And then in Models of the Runway Kors tells her she made the dress worse with her walk??? WTF?!  At least she didn't fall or roll down the runway!)  Brandise had to hitch up a side of the dress just to be able to move her feet.  Which tells you that this look is an all around FAILURE.  Bad design, BAD textile (which was the challenge) and bad bad bad execution.  And just fugly.  GRRR!  THIS look should be going home.  BOOO!

JONATHAN:

I love this look!  But the judges think her dress looks like a dirty table cloth.  I think it looks adorable!  And they hate the backwards jacket - I love it!  I agree that this isn't a winning look, but honestly, I think his model looks amazing with her skin tone and blond hair with this fabric.  The judges also said that Jonathan makes his model week after week look wide and short.  I do agree that he has made her look stumpy (which she isn't!!) so that's valid (and I don't think the shoe choice here works or does anything for the line of her leg).  

But Jonathan stood up for his textile and we saw on MOTR that Cerri stands up for Jonathan's look as well. I really like her... so you know what that means...  Sigh...

AUF'D... Fan favorite, Brown Sugar!

Yes.  This is not great.  Yes.  I've seen better.  But MILA SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME.  Her's was worse!  At least Anthony's concept is wearable.  And his textile design was better than hers.  GRRR!  BIDDY SMASH!

I'm sad to see Anthony go and that Mila and Emilio have been able to skate by even though they have presented STRAIGHT UP DISASTERS to the judges.  It's not fair.  If I didn't have a nephew on the way, I'd be completely wrecked.  (OOO - I hope my sister names her baby Tim Saturday Night Special.  Yes?)

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:

The models fill 20 minutes of time with taking pictures of themselves.  Seriously, what did that accomplish?

Seth Aaron's model is offered a DKNY shoot that pays a good bit of money, but it would be during the next runway show for Project Runway.  She makes the choice to pass up the gig and stay because she believes in Seth Aaron.  Awwwww!

Cerri is sent home after Jonathan proclaims that he has to change models since the judges don't think he dress her body type properly.  Sigh.  Phooey.  I liked her!  BOOO!  Phooey.

Next week - I'll be an aunt!  Oh and PR and MOTR will be on.  I think.  Meh.

*****

For more go to Lifetime, Project Runway and Blogging Project Runway!

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

Read my Social Media Biddy blog!

And join up with other grumpy fans and 

Save Season 8 of Project Runway!

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 9 - "Won't You Be My Neighbor?"

Blogging as I watch online... I have my cup of tea and my inner sass warm and ready to go!

Last week on Project Runway... Jonathan won because "pale understands pale."  Ben made jock-strap pants and they were super ugly.  Got it.  Moving on.

Opening credits... Love the lie Heidi says: "3 designers will show at Fashion Week."  Um, don't you mean, "10 will show at Fashion Week but we'll only air 3"?  Hmm?

In the apartments...

Brown Sugar slaps Jay awake.  My goodness, every show opens with some sort of slap fight between these two.  (Maybe Glenn Beck should interview them?)  OOO!  Amy is wearing a hoodie!  The Banger Sisters primp (as they always do, using a level to make sure their bangs are flush) and Maya reveals she's jealous she hasn't won anything yet.  Hmmm.

Moving on to Parsons...

On the (useless) Runway to (not) get their challenge from (chock full of baby) Heidi!  She starts off by wowing the audience with basic math: "HALF of you are gone."  No kidding.  Heidi tells them something about their challenge getting them in the "New York state of mind."  She then literally saunters off the runway and Brown Sugar gets the honors of giving us the "what does that clue mean?"  soundbite to cover the transition from the designers from the runway to the lounge to meet Tim.  Bleh.  Trite.  Formulaic.  

In the lounge...

Tim Gunn has Mr. Clean with him (Collier Strong, make-up artist for Loreal Paris - you'll remember him from the gripping episode that started off in the parking lot at the movie studio from last season).  OKAY.  I HAVE AN ISSUE.  Tim Gunn tells the designers IN THE LOUNGE that they will be using NYC as their point of departure for their designs.  HOLD UP, PROJECT RUNWAY.  Last week for the "elements challenge" you were on the roof and literally said, "Ignore all that NYC in the background."  And now for a NYC challenge, they are in a dim room.  THAT IS THE WORST BIT OF PRODUCING I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME, PROJECT RUNWAY.  That is sad.  Are the interns running the show?  No.  I take that back as interns would actually do a MUCH better job than you "paid professionals" are doing.  OMG.  I am so angry.  This is why I left the industry.  Because its run by morons like you guys.  (Holy crap, I need a hug... and a bottle of wine... and a rasher of bacon... and a new hoodie... I could go on.)

Tim goes on to tell the designers they'll be going to 4 very distinct neighborhoods and they've been chosen based on their history and impact on fashion.  The neighborhoods are: Chinatown, The East Village, The Upper East Side and Harlem.  (And I'd like to point out that the b-roll that accompanied these towns did NOT show anything historic or fashion related.  GRRR... Basic producing, people...)

OOO!  Emilio has the losing soundbite slot about how he HAS to win because he's from NYC!  YAY!  I can't stand Emilio ever since his washer-bikini was allowed to stay on the runway.  (Of course, that's not his fault, it's soundly the fault of the the judges and PRODUCERS.)  He says if he doesn't win it'll be really disappointing for him and his "people."  (I think they'll get over it.  Just a hunch.)

Tim CONTINUES (holy talk fest) saying that he has exciting news and they'll be working in teams.  AND OF COURSE they have to do 2 looks.  A look for day and a look for night and their budget is $300.  

Here's how the parings/neighborhoods break down:

Anthony & Maya = Chinatown

Amy & Jonathan = Upper East Side

Emilio & Seth Aaron = Harlem

Jay & Mila = East Village

Jay: "I'm stuck with Mila."  He's horrified.  Is this where the drama will come in that the Liftime promo PROMISED in this episode?  I wonder...

Ugh... now Collier talks about how he's going to help expand their design with product placement.  Isn't this a given every week?  Can we just be happy with the montage of product instead of yapping about it?  As a viewer, this is DULL and wastes my time.  Move it along!  (And this is a lot of talking for such a bland location.  I wish this had been outside!)  

They get 30 minutes to explore their neighborhood (yeah, cuz that's how easy it is to tour NYC, folks!) and sketch then they'll meet at Mood.   Tim tells them to "Run off to your neighborhoods!"  Um, Harlem isn't a run.  It's a solid subway ride.  ...Sigh...

Emilio & Seth Aaron arrive in Harlem and Emilio is so happy to be back in his neighborhood.  He missed the smell.  Okay?  Then Emilio says that Harlem is about churches and of course, the b-roll is of something that is not a church.  GOOD JOB PRODUCERS.   But they get b-roll of liquor stores and the fried chicken spots he speaks of!  2 out of 3 ain't bad.  HAHHAA!  As they walk down the street they compliment some lady on her shoes.  FINALLY!  Something candid!  Emilio explains that 99% of the population in Harlem wears denim.  They find a great mosaic art piece on a wall and decide that will be their inspiration.  PHEW.  Cuz at one point, the way this was going, I thought they were going to use a piece of fried chicken as inspiration....

Brown Sugar & Maya in Chinatown!  They decide that Chinatown reminds them of structure.  Yes!  Maya then reveals in a soundbite that Anthony is keeping her silly and that she needs a dose of that.  Awww!  That's sweet!  

Amy & Jonathan embrace their inner Gossip Girl and head up to the upper east side.  Jonathan explains the upper east side as luxurious and high end.  They notice that the UES has very few people/movement and the architecture is stark.  Jonathan then ponders who that will mix with Amy's sense of fashion (remember her "clown" pants?).  They are inspired by the wrought iron and want to use that with Jonathan's cutaway technique.  

Jay & Mila hit the East Village.  Jay just really wants to acknowledge that part of his challenge is accepting Mila.  They walk aronud and marvel at the rock-n-roll/grittiness of the village. Mila finds Jay scattered.  (Is it because he never said, "I want to color block?")

MOOD!  Shopping for 2 looks... $300.... Basic sum-up of events here: Nobody likes the textile the other chooses.  Thank you Moooooooooooooooooooooooood!

Back at Parsons...

HOLD THE FREAKIN' PHONE.  ANOTHER ONE DAY CHALLENGE???  FOR TWO LOOKS?  Especially when time was wasted with travel and shopping in the morning?  OMG.  F you, producers.  This is unacceptable.  Tim also says that the team leader will most likely go home for any messes.  UM... unless this is a mislead, this really gives the second team partner a pass on being at all helpful this week.  Sigh...

The groups get to work.  Maya's control issues come up... drama?  

First Commercial break...   That was a long Act 1... as in "boring."

Back in the workroom...

Design... design... design...  explanations of work...

Maya insults Jay be insinuating that she's an artist and he's not.  Emilio has to keep an eye on Seth Aaron because he's so fast with his sewing and who knows what he'll come back with if Emilio doesn't keep him in check.  Maya and Jay pretend they are married and do not talk.  (I kid!)  Jonathan & Amy are getting lost in their details and Jonathan worries they won't get done in time.

OH goodies... Mr. Clean gives lame make-up consultations...  BORING.  Thank GOD they are in teams so this at least goes by faster than if they were individuals.

Tim Gunn comes in and starts with Emilio and Seth Aaron.  (Do the designers even have anything to really show Tim at this point??) They have a bit of a jacket and a sketch of their "Cotton Club" dress.  Tim likes it and moves on.  (OH DEAR LORD, even the Tim Gunn portion of the show is deadly boring... THIS IS UNFAIR TO POOR TIM GUNN!)  

Next Tim talks to Anthony & Maya.  All they have a is a small texture detail and a sketch to show Tim.   Tim likes a striped fabric (that Maya earlier poo-poo'd) and says that could be a jacket.  Maya says: "It could."  AND THERE is no follow up soundbite from Jay explaining her two-facedness.  PRODUCERS!  HELLO!!

Jay & Mila are next.  Jay explains the pant he's making and where it will be "full" and Tim reminds him, "Will either Nina or Heidi say, 'What woman wants to look full there?'"  Jay assures him it won't come to that.  Then they show more sketches since they have nothing.  Tim asks about the neckline on a garment and they admit they are still "talking" about it.  Tim quips, "SOMEONE is going home."  Jay says, "Don't look at me!"  Hmmm...

Amy & Jonathan are last on Tim Gunn's tour.  They have more to show and explain than the other groups and Tim cautions them: "Are you at risk of over designing?"  Amy laughs and they silently agree.  Tim reminds them to focus on the look of the garment and not focus on over detailing.

Sew... sew... sew...... snooze snooze snooze....  Models come in and really the designers are nowhere near ready to fit them.  BECAUSE ITS A ONE DAY CHALLENGE for 2 looks!  (BAH!)

WAIT... is Jay making The Jock Strap Pants Part 2??  OMG... fugly.

(PS - I NEED Seth Aaron to make me a jacket. NEED.)

Models leave... sew sew sew.  It's 10:30pm!  Good lord, the designers are scrambling...  Emilio laughs at Mila & Jay.  Since he got to choose his partner before Jay did, he knew someone else would get Mila and it's "working as planned."  

Nobody is doing well on time.  NOBODY.

Jonathan: "We're f***ed."

Commercial break #2...

Runway day!

All the designers are stressing out about time - I feel so badly for them!  They should have more time!

Tim enters and even he's so bored by his 7-year-old speech that he says: "You know the drill with the Bluefly wall."  HA! 

Sew sew panic sew models boring comment sew sew hair make-up and everyone is screwed.

Uh... what's with the "plane swooping overhead" sound effect going on here when Mila's talking about how she's going to throw Jay under the bus on the runway?  Hmm?  I honestly thought, "Wow, did sound not pick up that a plane was going by overhead?"  But then heard it used a few times.  My opinion - lame effect.  Has NOTHING to do with a design work room!

Jonathan and Amy are literally sewing their models into their outfits...

Commercial break #3...

RUNWAY:

Sitting in for Michael Kors, Francisco Kosta from Calvin Klein.

"Up yours, Kors.  You're auf'd."

Guest judge: Molly Sims!

Molly:  "Dammit, Nina and I wore the same hair.

How embarrassing."

Let's start the show!

HIGHEST SCORES:

Emilio & Seth Aaron - Harlem:

  

Heidi is in love with both pieces.  I have to agree.  For one day MY LORD.  What the hell would happen if you gave Seth Aaron two days??  OMG!  The possibilities are staggering.  Although, I need to say that while I LOVE all his jackets, they are all starting to look a little similar and I'd love to see him design the hell out of a structured shirt instead of a jacket, just for a change of pace (and to avoid the "one trick pony" pigeon hole).  I haven't seen anybody be this inventive with denim since the Levi's challenge that Christian won way back when Project Runway was run by professional producers.  (Can you tell I have issues?)

Calvin Klein guy says he wishes the dress had been a bit shorter but then Heidi points out that to be sexier you just lift that zipper a little higher.  (NOW we know why she has so many kids...)  Nina thinks that SA overfussed the details of the jacket and had he left a few out, the denim look would have been classier.  Molly Sims loved it all.  

Okay... I hate Emilio but now I kinda like him.  It looks like he was a good team leader in that he DID bring color into SA's usually very drab/dark color choice and it is definitely the color in the daytime look that makes the outfit pop.  They really meshed as a team and I feel like they really worked well and efficiently together.  Good job, guys!

Anthony & Maya:

  

Okay... gotta say it.  HATE the day look.  WELL MADE but those two items do NOT go together at all in my world.  (Granted, my world is jeans, wifebeaters and hoodies, so there you go.)  I see the Chinatown influences in both and both are WELL made.  But woof to the first outfit.  Big miss in cohesion in my (non-sewing-or-design-experience) book.  I like them separately, not together.

Nina loves it!  She loves the touches and details but wishes there were more colors in the detail. Everybody really likes it and agrees that both are well made. 

Heidi asks what it was like working together.  Brown Sugar tells the judges: "Don't let that pretty face fool you.  If she doesn't like something she will surely let you know."

(SIDE NOTE:  WHERE IS ALL THE DRAMA THE PROMO PROMISED?!?!  Ugh...)  Maybe in the review of the bottom designs...

BOTTOM DESIGNS:

Jay & Mila - East Village:

  

Nina loves the nighttime look.  I do to, had I not seen it a million times from Mila already.  (She and Seth Aaron both have definite signatures that rock, but I think they need to make sure they don't get repetitive...)  But Nina calls out the top on the day look as looking like a leotard.  And thank goodness Heidi called out the day looks lack of structure for the boobs.  Yeeps.  It's a free for all up in there ya'll!

CK guy loves the pants and shirt together.  Molly can't get past the bad tank top.

When Heidi asked how it was working together Jay said they worked together "professionally."  It's true.  There was no yelling.  NO word from Mila?  

Jonathan & Amy - Upper East Side:

  

Sigh... I want to like these.  I really do.  But the leggings really make that top look ridiculous and the dress reminds me too much of the Gwyneth Paltrow disaster she wore to the Oscars years ago.

Awwww - they talk about how much love and respect they have for each other as designers.  How lovely!  They really did work well together, just victims of time.

Nina calls the daywear look out as looking unpolished.  Molly hates the color of the shirt and CK guy suggests making the shirt white with a straight leg pant to get more of an UES look to it.  Heidi calls it an eyesore.  

They all like Jonathan's nighttime outfit better, but Nina calls out the paneling as making the dress look heavy and cheap.

DECISION:

The winner of this challenge is EMILIO.... AND SETH AARON!  Seth Aaron says in a soundbite that this is a PR first in that there's a double winner.  

Seth Aaron: "But remember we don't get immunity."
Emilio: "Who cares?  I'm still here after my washer-bikini.

Luck is on my side!  Or the blackmail is working..."

And auf'd this week...  Amy.  Booo.  But I get it.  I think she's a designer who needs more time and the one-day challenges are just not her friend.  Bye, Amy!  At least you get to show at Fashion Week!

OH!  Jonathan is crying that she's leaving - OOOH!  Sad!

PS - Anybody notice that make-up was never mentioned in this MAKE-UP even though it was part of the challenge?  Sigh...  AND THERE WAS NO DRAMA ANYWHERE!  BOOO!

Next week on Project Runway - More crap!

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:

Brittany is chosen over Holly.  (Holly wore Jonathan's evening look.)  Auf she goes...

Next week on MOTR - More crap!

******

For more Project Runway blogs, info and inside scoop, check out Blogging Project Runway.

Also check out Lifetime for episodes and here for the auctions!

You can get more of me on Twitter & Facebook.

ALSO - Join the page that is trying to Save Season 8 of Project Runway!

Together we can make a difference!
(Or just stop watching...)