Friday, August 19, 2011

Online Dating

We've all done it, it's our dirty little secret. Or public secret.  Or just maybe it's just dirty.  Either way, I'm speaking about online dating, aka  The Scurge of our Century.

Online dating seems to be the only way I can meet someone, especially in NYC.  It's weird that in a city of 2984304809484 people living on top of each other (that's what she said) I've met nobody in real life, just cyber life.  Bygones.

Anyway, I believe I will be alone a little bit longer as I received this email today.  There is SO MUCH wrong with it that I barely know where to begin.  Please brace yourself and read:

Coming across your profile i have some feelings in me, Your beautiful smile that happens to come on your face,charming face which all men wants but something special which all men dont see and that is your heart which contain so much that i will love to get to know more about ..i will be glad if you give me the moment to get to know more about you.
Your smile proves so much,you are a woman with a charming smile which shows a longer and future relationship,which a man will pray for that man who knows the worth of a family.Something is special about you and that is your high sence of are a God gift.then why dont you be my gift as will wonder how much i know this but remember that eyes is the mirrow of the heart and soul.
Yeah i am far away from you,which i think might be a problem but i think sometimes you meet people near you getting to know them and at the end of the day they break your heart but precisely i really wanted to relocate for my business expansion and for the happiness of a beautiful family which i pray for. I will love to hear from you soon,
Hope to read a reply from you soon.

#1:  No, you will neither hear nor will you read a reply from me soon.
#2:  SPELLING!  Ask God for the gift of spell check!
#3:  I am a God Gift, that is your only correct item in this email.  Well done.
#4:  We won't be having a family together.  Gross.
#5:  Did you go to public school?  If so you owe a lot of tax payers their money back.


So the search continues.  The bar is set pretty low, but unless the next guy calls me a God Gift, I'm not sure we have a future together.


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