Monday, April 5, 2010

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 11 - "A Sew Sew Episode"

This episode could have been amazing.

This episode should have been hyped from the very beginning 
and left us honestly wondering, "Who walks out??" all season long.

The sound bite: "We don't have a winner for this challenge," 
should have also been teased mercilessly.

10 designers should NOT have showed at Fashion Week 
because it ruined the suspense and story of the remaining season.
(OMG.  I can't say this one enough...)

And finally, I should be crowned "Queen of Knowing How to Fix Everything."  


We open in the apartment and we are beaten over the head with, "We miss Anthony," and "the competition is hard."  And Maya is given the "going home" sound bite slot.  Ugh...  The predictability of this show is overwhelming. 

With six left, Heidi tells them that they'll be making a look for a celebrity.  OH NO.... Why do I have a feeling that the celebrity... is Heidi?  Because I'm right.  Tim Gunn introduces Heidi.  DIDN'T THIS CHALLENGE ALREADY HAPPEN?  And didn't Brown Sugar win and that dress is the cover of Marie Claire right NOW?  WHAT THE HELL, BUNIM-MURRAY???  How cheap are you??  (Or "How many people will have nothing to do with the show now that you morons run it?" may be the better question...)

Heidi: "Yep, it's me again.  Try not to yawn."
Tim: "I contend that I'm doing my best."

Heidi leaves and Tim gives them 30 minutes to sketch, then they will go to Mood to shop with $300.  And CUE the bad directing and bad story producing from our enemies at Bunim-Murray.  All of a sudden, Maya's work station is empty.  NOBODY comments on this either in real time or in a sound bite.  They just all happily sketch and assume that Maya must have eaten some bad Chinese food and is having an extended stay in the loo as NOBODY seems concerned to here whereabouts.   We see a door close as if to cheat that Maya's just left, but they already showed a shot of the workroom, and she was already missing... I hate when continuity isn't a primary concern in a (bad) producer's mind.  The audience isn't stupid.  Don't screw with your timeline if you can't do it properly.

And then... to beat us about the head with the fact that Maya is missing since none of the designers have seemed to notice... the empty dress form:

Due to a horrible accident, 
Maya lost both of her arms.
And her head.

After the other designers calmly discuss their plans for their outfits (Jonathan is taking the angle of, "design something really ugly and the judges will probably love it."  HA!) when Tim Gunn comes back in the room with Maya and she announces that she's leaving the competition because she doesn't feel ready yet to go all the way if she made it to Bryant Park since she just got out of design school and she's still figuring out who she is as a designer.  Which is too bad as she has skills for days.  

Tim: "My goodness, you're short.
In stature and in confidence."

Maya seems really calm about her decision.  There are no tears.  Just relief.  I have a feeling that she's going to sleep for about a week.  I can't even imagine how battered these guys are with these quick turn-arounds.  I can barely sew a button in five minutes, I can't imagine putting together a red carpet dress in 10 hours.

Emilio gives a mean sound bite about how "Quitters never win."  (But cheaters do, right Emilio??  WHERE WAS YOUR ACCESSORY, MISTER!?!?)  And then Seth Aaron gave a beautiful sound bite to back Maya up in her decision: "You know we work 18 to 20 hours a day, 7 days a week.  You're pretty much drained all the time.  So anybody sitting at home saying, 'Oh my God, I can't believe Maya quit,' you know, fuck off.  You have no clue.  Don't judge.  You come here and try it."

"I got your back, Maya."

I'm rooting for you, Maya!  Keep designing and sewing!  And come back to Season 8, maybe?  

So this leaves 5 designers in the work room instead of 6.  But first things first (while the producers scramble to get their ducks in a row...)  OFF TO MOOD!

"Can I color block this?"

Thank you Mooooooood!

Back to Parsons.  And Tim has an announcement that we all knew was coming.  (Well, for anybody who's watched the show before, we know who's coming back.)  Chris March is back!  I mean.... BROWN SUGAR!  YAY ANTHONY who announces: "I have a second chance at greatness!"

"Look out, Beyonce, Brown Sugar is BACK!"

Tim gives Anthony 30 minutes to sketch, then off to Mood and he will be allowed to work later than the other designers so he has the same amount of time to create his look for Heidi.  However, Tim isn't going to Mood with Anthony to which Anthony states: "But Tim, it won't be the same if you're not there to say, 'Anthony, don't pick that!'"

Sew sew sew sew sew.....  Jonathan explains his frustration with only having one day to do a red carpet dress for Heidi.  AMEN.  LAME LAME LAME.  Especially with the changes in the lineup. 

Sewing and explanations... 

The Tim comes back into the work room and calls Seth Aaron outside.  Mila states: "And the day just keeps getting weirder and weirder."  But there's no suspense in the work room.  The mood seems "business as usual" which is frustrating as a viewer.  BUNIM-MURRAY!  Really?  This is lame producing.

Seth Aaron returns and let's everyone know that his model, Valeria, decided to take the DKNY gig afterall:

"Seth Aaron, call me when you get NY after your name."

But my favorite model, Cerri, gets to come back!  YAY!

"I hope Seth Aaron gets pale."

Again, we have some pretty exciting stuff happening on the show and A) we don't see any of the conversation between Tim and Seth Aaron, we just hear it after SA has processed the info, we never get to see his original reaction to the news,  B) We also don't see any reaction from the models (we have to wait until 11pm which I'm not inclined to do at this point) and C) BORING EXECUTION OF DRAMA!  Ugh!  So angering!

Sew sew sew... And in another highlight that could have been teased from the top of the season: "Heidi visits the work room for the first time in Project Runway history!"  

Heidi: "That's ugly, right?"
Tim: "Yet amusing!"

First up, Seth Aaron.  He's making a black gown with Seth Aaron signature touches.  Heidi gives the advice: "There's nothing wrong with black, simple and long.  But I feel like there needs to be a little more something somewhere."  Awesome.  

Anthony is making a dress that could double as a black & white cookie.  It looks gorgeous (and tasty!).  He explains the fall of the dress to Heidi and that it will "move."  Tim calls it "potentially exciting"!  HAHA!

Kenley... oops, I mean Emilio, is next.  He explains how he needs to extend the sequined dress by sewing it on a bias.  Heidi yells, "It's going to be very very difficult!" To wit Tim punctuates with, "Mm-hmm!"

Jay is next.  He explains the ruffles and Heidi warns him that women don't like to look bigger than they are.  Heidi then has to give him an anatomy lesson on boobs since he seems to think there's a large gap between them. 

Heidi: "See, these are boobs."
Tim: "I'm going to be sick."

Mila shows her dress to Heidi and worries it's too simple.  Heidi says it's not too simple, "But are the other dresses better?"  

Jonathan is last and he shows his cut-away fabric he's done, complimented with a coral fabric.  Heidi likes the coral, but thinks the cut-away textile looks like curtains.  Yeeks.  All that time Jonathan put into this effect, down the drain.  8 hours.  Gone.  But she loves the coral color.  Tim reminds him that he has 4 hours to show his versatility after the critique.  Ugh.  What a stomach punch!

Jonathan explains that the dress Heidi wants would take a week to complete - thank you for saying that!!  If only it were a 2 day challenge, maybe he'd have a chance.

The models come in and they calmly react to Maya leaving.  UGH.  Really?  Is everyone on Xanax??

Jonathan starts a second dress... doesn't like it... starts a third dress.  

Let's jump to the runway... the rest is just technical sewing and whatnot that is just not exciting at all, even though it should be given the Valeria/Maya exit and the Anthony/Cerri comeback!


On the runway Heidi introduces Kors, Garcia and their "celebrity" judge (WHY COULDN'T SHE BE THE CELEB THEY WERE DESIGNING FOR???) Jessica Alba:

Jessica: "They just found me shopping in Macy's about 2  minutes ago.
I had nothing else going on, so here I am."

Let's start the show!


Jay states as the dress goes down the runway: "I guess I like big butts!"

Heidi loves the corset but the volume on the bottom is too much.  Kors reminds Jay that no woman wants to look like she has big hips.  Nina agrees that she looks wide when she's a tiny girl.  Jessica agrees.  I think the whole thing is a disaster.  While it's well made, it's got too much going on and not much that's flattering.   Despite this, Jay's safe and continues on to next week.


OH dear.  Who took this picture and thought it was okay to post.  She looks like a deer in headlights..  And also, why does she look so WIDE??

Jessica likes the dress and mentions that she wears them a lot (not a compliment to Mila's design as it's BEEN DONE which is something that Maya got knocked for with her elements dress, but Mila escapes the same criticism??) but the bust is too wide.  Kors agrees, and so do I.  UGH.  Awful.  Her boobs look like they need a leash.  Nina comments that it looks like something one of the Houswives of NJ would wear.  (OUCH but HAAHAHAHAAA!)

Heidi calls it simple and not a show stopper.  But Mila squeaks by AGAIN and continues on to next week.


First of all, anybody else think that Cerri is a combo of Kate Moss & Marilyn Monroe?  Seriously, this girl is gorgeous!

Nina criticizes SA for over-thinking the design and that it may not be that flattering on Heidi.  Kors gives a backwards compliment about how this dress would be on the girl handing you the trophy, but not on the winner.  Okay?  I love it, but I know that I would look VERY hippy in it and not in that sexy way that it would look on a curvy gal.  Jessica says it's not like a dress she's ever seen on Heidi. (UM, isn't that the point?!)   Heidi wants more cleavage and wow.  Either way, Seth Aaron is safe!   PHEW!


Emilio says he was inspired by the fabric because it looks like liquid gold.  And yeah, this will look great with flashbulbs going off around it.  I hate that Emilio made a show stopper and deserved the win.  He pisses me off so much...

Kors calls it "impeccable" and compliments the styling of the model.  (Who does look gorgeous in this dress, but I worry that anybody bigger than a size negative 0 might not look as good in this...)  Heidi loves that it's sexy and has an amazing fit.  Nina congratulates him on not making this look cheap.  


Heidi loves his dress to which Anthony proclaims (in the spirit of Easter), "Oh Jesus."  Jessica loves the flow and movement.  Kors tells Anthony that he's "finally in your zone!"  Nina agrees that its definitely a red carpet dress.  And the reason this also wins is because Jessica would like to wear it.  GO ANTHONY!  Cover of Marie Claire and a dress on the red carpet.  Outstanding!  Welcome back!  


Too short, too sloppy and FABULOUS SHOES!  Jonathan explains that this is the third dress, which explains why it looks rushed.  Kors says you can see it.  Nina hates the colors and tells him that it won't photograph.  So Jonathan is out... I get it.  Jay and Mila's were tailored better than his...  Sigh...

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:  Uuuuuuuuuuuuughh.  Cerri is cut again.  BOOOO!


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  1. I LOVED Anthony's dress. I agreed that it was his time last week, but this was a stunning dress, proving that simplicity, when made well, is very elegant. (I'm up and down on Emilio's work as a whole, but that dress was flawlessly made, and no one else really did a good look.) So glad that Alba wants to wear it on the red carpet and promote his work!

  2. I love that Anthony is taking the "Chris March" path to PR greatness! His dress was very beautiful indeed.

  3. Yeah, what was up with Heidi being the 'celebrity' again?? And really, they had to waste time, why couldn't they just reveal that fact in one place?? Stupid.

    Jonathan-why does he always pick boring colors?? I was glad he lost-I dislike him almost as much as Emilio...and all he does is cutaways! and no one points this out? but my god, this dress was horrible...I understand that he only had a few hours, but maybe he shouldn't have altered his original design so drastically...

    Sooo glad Anthony came back! I might keep watching now...loved his dress.

    I liked Jay's, I didn't think it was as bad as the judges said...the flare on the bottom half was intentional, and it was obvious that it was...a lot of dresses that celebrities wear are like I really didn't understand the criticism the judges had-there's a difference if the dress is poorly made with the wrong fabric and fits the person wrong, but I didn't think his dress did...

    LOVED Seth Aaron's...of course...but I didn't understand the whole comment about wanting more cleavage, after just going off on Mila with showing too much??

    And I may be the only one who didn't like Emilio' was made well, sure, and the color looked fine...but it's been done before. We've seen a million of these dresses and there's no originality to it...if you substituted another color in, you would have an extremely BORING dress on your hands...the only thing that did save it was the color...

    Mila's dress just sucked.

    Too bad Maya let the pressure get to her, she has a lot of potential....and who does Emilio think he is, just insulting her like that...what a douche....but does anyone know what their schedules are like?? cause SA said they work 7 days a week, so is it just one challenge after another?? No breaks in between them??

  4. I doubt they get any breaks. I don't know for sure, but production schedules are really tight and it seems like with all these one day challenges, they are just rushing the season through. Boo!

  5. I agree completely that this episode could have been much more dramatic and exciting. I was in shock that this was the first time that we heard about a designer and model that dropped out of the show and Heidi saying "There are no winners in this challenge."

    I am still surprised that the geniuses (insert sarcastic air quotes here) of The Real World haven't given the designers more booze. It might make for some interesting designs and workroom chats. Isn't that their "key" to creating drama?

  6. Ugh PissyBoo Blah. Everything you said was correct but not incendiary enough (ie I want to burn down Bunim/Murray/Beelzebub studios - ie, their garage).

    Cerri got cut because she has a penis in SA's dress (scroll up, you'll see).

    Mila's model's boobs have been all over the place the last two weeks...wth with that?!?

    Horribly produced show, just the worst, and the obvious dressing room without Maya?? I hope the Weinstein Bros are hearing these boos through their stromboli chewing fits, cuz they chose the WRONG reality folks to make their show.

    Who does Gene Simmons Family Jewels? That's who everyone should get...they spend money, they produce heavily while still making it look real, and the show's theme of love always shines through.

    And thanks to you, Miss Biddy, I now can't look at any photo of Tim Gunn without realizing just how large his melon is - look at him next to Heidi! You have nothing to be ashamed of, Jennifer...your head is normally sized, but Tim needs extra room for all that vocabulary.

  7. Re: Jay's dress. Did it remind anyone else of that designer who only brought petals to the table a couple of seasons back? She one I believe? Ick.

  8. So, SO upset that Maya left. Poor girl. She has SO much potential & I pegged her as a winner (after Seth Aaron) from the beginning. She was, for sure, going to Bryant Park.

  9. I about peed my pants after your pic of Maya's form- hahahaha. I have to say I had really liked Cerri, but dude she and Brandise were totally uncool to the younger two models and I had not been a fan of the younger too. I do not think Emilio should have won because it there was no innovation. This is not a show about good tailoring.

  10. YOU ARE RIGHT! This is not "Project Tailoring"! It's about having that wow moment on the RUNWAY. (By the way, whenever someone says "wow" now I have to tell myself, "They aren't talking about World of Warcraft.")

    Next time read my blog with a diaper! ;)



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