This episode could have been amazing.
This episode should have been hyped from the very beginning
and left us honestly wondering, "Who walks out??" all season long.
The sound bite: "We don't have a winner for this challenge,"
should have also been teased mercilessly.
10 designers should NOT have showed at Fashion Week
because it ruined the suspense and story of the remaining season.
(OMG. I can't say this one enough...)
And finally, I should be crowned "Queen of Knowing How to Fix Everything."
We open in the apartment and we are beaten over the head with, "We miss Anthony," and "the competition is hard." And Maya is given the "going home" sound bite slot. Ugh... The predictability of this show is overwhelming.
With six left, Heidi tells them that they'll be making a look for a celebrity. OH NO.... Why do I have a feeling that the celebrity... is Heidi? Because I'm right. Tim Gunn introduces Heidi. DIDN'T THIS CHALLENGE ALREADY HAPPEN? And didn't Brown Sugar win and that dress is the cover of Marie Claire right NOW? WHAT THE HELL, BUNIM-MURRAY??? How cheap are you?? (Or "How many people will have nothing to do with the show now that you morons run it?" may be the better question...)
Heidi: "Yep, it's me again. Try not to yawn."
Tim: "I contend that I'm doing my best."
Heidi leaves and Tim gives them 30 minutes to sketch, then they will go to Mood to shop with $300. And CUE the bad directing and bad story producing from our enemies at Bunim-Murray. All of a sudden, Maya's work station is empty. NOBODY comments on this either in real time or in a sound bite. They just all happily sketch and assume that Maya must have eaten some bad Chinese food and is having an extended stay in the loo as NOBODY seems concerned to here whereabouts. We see a door close as if to cheat that Maya's just left, but they already showed a shot of the workroom, and she was already missing... I hate when continuity isn't a primary concern in a (bad) producer's mind. The audience isn't stupid. Don't screw with your timeline if you can't do it properly.
And then... to beat us about the head with the fact that Maya is missing since none of the designers have seemed to notice... the empty dress form:
Due to a horrible accident,
Maya lost both of her arms.
And her head.
After the other designers calmly discuss their plans for their outfits (Jonathan is taking the angle of, "design something really ugly and the judges will probably love it." HA!) when Tim Gunn comes back in the room with Maya and she announces that she's leaving the competition because she doesn't feel ready yet to go all the way if she made it to Bryant Park since she just got out of design school and she's still figuring out who she is as a designer. Which is too bad as she has skills for days.
Tim: "My goodness, you're short.
In stature and in confidence."
Maya seems really calm about her decision. There are no tears. Just relief. I have a feeling that she's going to sleep for about a week. I can't even imagine how battered these guys are with these quick turn-arounds. I can barely sew a button in five minutes, I can't imagine putting together a red carpet dress in 10 hours.
Emilio gives a mean sound bite about how "Quitters never win." (But cheaters do, right Emilio?? WHERE WAS YOUR ACCESSORY, MISTER!?!?) And then Seth Aaron gave a beautiful sound bite to back Maya up in her decision: "You know we work 18 to 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. You're pretty much drained all the time. So anybody sitting at home saying, 'Oh my God, I can't believe Maya quit,' you know, fuck off. You have no clue. Don't judge. You come here and try it."
"I got your back, Maya."
I'm rooting for you, Maya! Keep designing and sewing! And come back to Season 8, maybe?
So this leaves 5 designers in the work room instead of 6. But first things first (while the producers scramble to get their ducks in a row...) OFF TO MOOD!
"Can I color block this?"
Thank you Mooooooood!
Back to Parsons. And Tim has an announcement that we all knew was coming. (Well, for anybody who's watched the show before, we know who's coming back.) Chris March is back! I mean.... BROWN SUGAR! YAY ANTHONY who announces: "I have a second chance at greatness!"
"Look out, Beyonce, Brown Sugar is BACK!"
Tim gives Anthony 30 minutes to sketch, then off to Mood and he will be allowed to work later than the other designers so he has the same amount of time to create his look for Heidi. However, Tim isn't going to Mood with Anthony to which Anthony states: "But Tim, it won't be the same if you're not there to say, 'Anthony, don't pick that!'"
Sew sew sew sew sew..... Jonathan explains his frustration with only having one day to do a red carpet dress for Heidi. AMEN. LAME LAME LAME. Especially with the changes in the lineup.
Sewing and explanations...
The Tim comes back into the work room and calls Seth Aaron outside. Mila states: "And the day just keeps getting weirder and weirder." But there's no suspense in the work room. The mood seems "business as usual" which is frustrating as a viewer. BUNIM-MURRAY! Really? This is lame producing.
Seth Aaron returns and let's everyone know that his model, Valeria, decided to take the DKNY gig afterall:
"Seth Aaron, call me when you get NY after your name."
But my favorite model, Cerri, gets to come back! YAY!
"I hope Seth Aaron gets pale."
Again, we have some pretty exciting stuff happening on the show and A) we don't see any of the conversation between Tim and Seth Aaron, we just hear it after SA has processed the info, we never get to see his original reaction to the news, B) We also don't see any reaction from the models (we have to wait until 11pm which I'm not inclined to do at this point) and C) BORING EXECUTION OF DRAMA! Ugh! So angering!
Sew sew sew... And in another highlight that could have been teased from the top of the season: "Heidi visits the work room for the first time in Project Runway history!"
Heidi: "That's ugly, right?"
Tim: "Yet amusing!"
Tim: "Yet amusing!"
First up, Seth Aaron. He's making a black gown with Seth Aaron signature touches. Heidi gives the advice: "There's nothing wrong with black, simple and long. But I feel like there needs to be a little more something somewhere." Awesome.
Anthony is making a dress that could double as a black & white cookie. It looks gorgeous (and tasty!). He explains the fall of the dress to Heidi and that it will "move." Tim calls it "potentially exciting"! HAHA!
Kenley... oops, I mean Emilio, is next. He explains how he needs to extend the sequined dress by sewing it on a bias. Heidi yells, "It's going to be very very difficult!" To wit Tim punctuates with, "Mm-hmm!"
Jay is next. He explains the ruffles and Heidi warns him that women don't like to look bigger than they are. Heidi then has to give him an anatomy lesson on boobs since he seems to think there's a large gap between them.
Heidi: "See, these are boobs."
Tim: "I'm going to be sick."
Mila shows her dress to Heidi and worries it's too simple. Heidi says it's not too simple, "But are the other dresses better?"
Jonathan is last and he shows his cut-away fabric he's done, complimented with a coral fabric. Heidi likes the coral, but thinks the cut-away textile looks like curtains. Yeeks. All that time Jonathan put into this effect, down the drain. 8 hours. Gone. But she loves the coral color. Tim reminds him that he has 4 hours to show his versatility after the critique. Ugh. What a stomach punch!
Jonathan explains that the dress Heidi wants would take a week to complete - thank you for saying that!! If only it were a 2 day challenge, maybe he'd have a chance.
The models come in and they calmly react to Maya leaving. UGH. Really? Is everyone on Xanax??
Jonathan starts a second dress... doesn't like it... starts a third dress.
Let's jump to the runway... the rest is just technical sewing and whatnot that is just not exciting at all, even though it should be given the Valeria/Maya exit and the Anthony/Cerri comeback!
On the runway Heidi introduces Kors, Garcia and their "celebrity" judge (WHY COULDN'T SHE BE THE CELEB THEY WERE DESIGNING FOR???) Jessica Alba:
Jessica: "They just found me shopping in Macy's about 2 minutes ago.
I had nothing else going on, so here I am."
Let's start the show!
Jay states as the dress goes down the runway: "I guess I like big butts!"
Heidi loves the corset but the volume on the bottom is too much. Kors reminds Jay that no woman wants to look like she has big hips. Nina agrees that she looks wide when she's a tiny girl. Jessica agrees. I think the whole thing is a disaster. While it's well made, it's got too much going on and not much that's flattering. Despite this, Jay's safe and continues on to next week.
OH dear. Who took this picture and thought it was okay to post. She looks like a deer in headlights.. And also, why does she look so WIDE??
Jessica likes the dress and mentions that she wears them a lot (not a compliment to Mila's design as it's BEEN DONE which is something that Maya got knocked for with her elements dress, but Mila escapes the same criticism??) but the bust is too wide. Kors agrees, and so do I. UGH. Awful. Her boobs look like they need a leash. Nina comments that it looks like something one of the Houswives of NJ would wear. (OUCH but HAAHAHAHAAA!)
Heidi calls it simple and not a show stopper. But Mila squeaks by AGAIN and continues on to next week.
First of all, anybody else think that Cerri is a combo of Kate Moss & Marilyn Monroe? Seriously, this girl is gorgeous!
Nina criticizes SA for over-thinking the design and that it may not be that flattering on Heidi. Kors gives a backwards compliment about how this dress would be on the girl handing you the trophy, but not on the winner. Okay? I love it, but I know that I would look VERY hippy in it and not in that sexy way that it would look on a curvy gal. Jessica says it's not like a dress she's ever seen on Heidi. (UM, isn't that the point?!) Heidi wants more cleavage and wow. Either way, Seth Aaron is safe! PHEW!
WINNER - EMILIO! (GRR!)
Emilio says he was inspired by the fabric because it looks like liquid gold. And yeah, this will look great with flashbulbs going off around it. I hate that Emilio made a show stopper and deserved the win. He pisses me off so much...
Kors calls it "impeccable" and compliments the styling of the model. (Who does look gorgeous in this dress, but I worry that anybody bigger than a size negative 0 might not look as good in this...) Heidi loves that it's sexy and has an amazing fit. Nina congratulates him on not making this look cheap.
AND THE SECOND WINNER - ANTHONY! (YAY!)
Heidi loves his dress to which Anthony proclaims (in the spirit of Easter), "Oh Jesus." Jessica loves the flow and movement. Kors tells Anthony that he's "finally in your zone!" Nina agrees that its definitely a red carpet dress. And the reason this also wins is because Jessica would like to wear it. GO ANTHONY! Cover of Marie Claire and a dress on the red carpet. Outstanding! Welcome back!
Too short, too sloppy and FABULOUS SHOES! Jonathan explains that this is the third dress, which explains why it looks rushed. Kors says you can see it. Nina hates the colors and tells him that it won't photograph. So Jonathan is out... I get it. Jay and Mila's were tailored better than his... Sigh...
MODELS OF THE RUNWAY: Uuuuuuuuuuuuughh. Cerri is cut again. BOOOO!
Make sure to check out Blogging Project Runway,
Join the group: Save Season 8 of Project Runway!
We need you now more than ever!