The New Old Biddy Meets The Fabulous Tim Gunn!

It all started with reading a tweet from PulseJFK.

It was immediately followed by hysterical giggles while sending an email to my friend, Joanna, saying: "YOU IN?"

She responded back immediately: "YES."

This was then followed by a month of waiting and anticipation.  And figuring out what to wear.  And giggling.

And what was all this girly hub-bub for?  I will tell you.  THIS:

Books AND Tim Gunn in one place?

I may die from complete happiness overload...

As you know, I adore Tim Gunn.  (If you didn't know this, where have you been??)  He's my favorite element of Project Runway and he was oh so delightful on his TV show (and in his book), Tim Gunn's Guide To Style. (The TV show got the ax when PR jumped ship from Bravo to Lifetime.  BOOOOO!)  So when I found out that he was promoting the graphic novel he appears in, Models, Inc., I KNEW I had to go. I also knew that I couldn't wear a hoodie for fear that he might say, "Young-ish lady, why are you contributing to the slobification of America?  I dare say that you are completely unacceptable to be out in public!  Away with you!"  (This is seriously a fear of mine.  It's right up there next to spiders with inappropriately long legs and barf.)

I got to Barnes & Noble in Tribeca at around 5:30 in my early biddy fashion.  I bought my copy of Models, Inc. (and two other books on social media and HTML - what can I say, I'm a dork at heart) and sat down in the third row.  And waited.  Happily.  Eagerly.  In short, I'm sure I looked like a grinning doofus.  At least I have good teeth.

My friend Joanna joined me and the rest of the seats began to fill.  Now, I need to talk about the audience before continuing:  It was comprised of people I would NEVER peg as a Tim Gunn fan.  (Not that we have a look, mind you... And by 'we' I mean 'I need a 12-step group.') Some people were there wearing what they woke up in while others were decked out.  Others were there for the Marvel Comics aspect of it and were shocked to see such a dapper man as part of the panel.  Some were teens, some were old.  But my favorite two audience members sat in the front row and did each other's make-up.  It looked like a mother/daughter duo and their excitement was adorable and palpable.

Okay, back to the action...!

Just before 7pm, Tim Gunn walked through the room with a posse of Barnes & Noble workers doing their best Secret Service formation. (All that they were missing were ear pieces.  And is it wrong I wanted one of them to talk into the cuff of their sleeve?)  Upon his arrival an excited golf clap erupted from the audience and Tim gave us a humbled (yet confident!) look as if to say, "Oh shucks, everyone.  Carry on!  Nothing special here."  I think I speak for the entire audience when I say that we all fell in love with him right then and there.

After what seemed like ages, the panel began!

Tim Gunn, Some Guy from Marvel, PR Guy From Marvel

(I should take better notes...)

There is no way to retell how entertaining and hilarious this discussion and Q&A was.  At one point I turned to Joanna and said, "Tim Gunn should do stand-up." HE IS A RIOT.  He's so genuine and off the cuff.  He's so well spoken and completely honest with his answers and because of this, he instantly connects with his audience.  THANK GOODNESS Barnes & Noble taped the entire discussion and will post it on their site in about 2-3 weeks!  YOU MUST SEE IT WHEN IT COMES OUT.  I can not do it justice in a blog.  I'll keep an eye out for it and post when I see it.

But in the meantime here are some topic highlights without giving too much away:

* Tim Gunn's love of comic books started when he was a kid

* He has a thing for Iron Man (who doesn't??)

* They discuss capturing Tim's vocabulary for the comic.  (Although I would have liked to see, "I assert that..." "Egads!" and "Where's Andre?" in there somewhere... but that's just me.)

* He worries about the Incredible Hulk's "costume"

* Mr. Gunn likes a good cape

* Hairpulling!

* "Leggings are not pants, ever!"

* He discusses two more "Crimes Against Fashion"  

* He was a art student/sculptor before getting into fashion

* Diane VonFurstenberg got him on the path to discovering his personal style

* Season 6 of PR was horrible  (AMEN!)

* Nina needs to rethink the gladiator sandal

* He went to Parsons because he had a "call to teach" - which he talks about so passionately.  (This is a man who LOVES what he does and where his life has taken him!)

I will tell you the question I asked.  Ahem.  I dare say that it's very good.  Okay.  Here goes: "You're always so dapper, what do you wear to make toast in the kitchen?" (Riveting journalism, no?)  His answer: "Jeans and a t-shirt!  Of course!"  Squeee!  

"However, I will wear the Iron Man outfit 

before a hoodie."

After the Q&A, it was time for the book signing....

"I before E, cross the T..."

While waiting in line, a mom and a little girl came by to wait and say "hi" to Tim after the crowd thinned out.  Turns out it was Jay's child model from the "Mom"challenge!

I told her that she did a great job on the show and she blushed and whispered, "Thank you."  TOO CUTE.

Finally, it was time to meet the man of the hour.  Now.  I'm usually pretty cool about things, especially when celebrity driven.  I don't get nervous.  I remain myself.  UNTIL I was 5 feet away from Tim and I turned into a blathering dimbulb with a fourth grade vocabulary at best.

I asked that he make the signature out to my blog's namesake, The New Old Biddy.  His reaction: "Who or WHAT is a new old biddy?"  I squeaked, "It's me!  Cuz I'm young but have older sensibilities."  To which he exclaimed, "Why that's me too!"  

Then...  I had nothing to say.  Years of questions that I'd stored in spare gray matter, gone.  Blank.  Nada.  He filled in the gap by asking me my real name.  I swear to Dior, I had to think about it:  "Matilda?  No, that's my dog."  Finally, I blurted out, "Jennifer," and thank goodness I was right.  He chirped back, "Well it's nice to meet you, Jennifer."  We then chatted a bit about the blog, Blogging Project Runway, and how wonderful the people who run it are.  (Yes, Patrick, that's what we talked about!)  I told  him ("stammered at him" is more like it) that I blog about the show and as a result of that blogging have met many of my friends that way.  (You will be proud of me, I did not bring up that I think Bunim-Murray is run by plebes.  Gold star for me.)

Then, picture time!

And Tim Gunn's head grew three sizes that day...

Look - I know.  I got a tiny melon.  Only to be horribly highlighted against a fully developed skull full of goodness and knowledge.  But the fact that he's angled closer to the camera does not help my (tiny) plight.  

Joanna: "See, Jennifer.  This is what  a normal head size looks like."

After he was done signing my book he said, "I'm sure we'll meet again!"  I said, "I hope so!"  Then I shuffled off and tried to get my heartbeat back down to a regular rate.  Seriously.  I was lame!

Afterwards, Joanna took me to a place where she knew I'd fit in:

"We are neither new or old.  Just early."

Joanna and I then ate (I had a burger with Irish bacon!), drank (vodka tonics for me, black and tan for her) and talked for 3 hours. (Our chat is off limits.  I have a reputation to uphold...) All in all, it was a fabulous night!

Oh and fellow Tim Gunnians, (did I just coin a term?), he has a new book coming out in the fall! 

Until September 10th, make it work!

I hope Barnes & Noble does another promotional event.  I'll start practicing saying my name in the meantime. Just in case...

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 10 - "The Fabric of our Lives"

I actually got to watch Project Runway last night at my sister's apartment (instead of waiting until Saturday to watch online).  So I am A) blogging from my (vague and aging) memory B) blogging furiously fast as I'm about to become an aunt (literally any minute now) and C) OMG I AM ABOUT TO BE AN AUNT.  Tim who??  (I kid!  Nothing can come between me and my Tim... Tim... give me a minute... Rifle?  Revolver?  Musket??)

Tim:  "Really?  You can't remember my name? 

I assert that I don't buy it."

The challenge this week was to design their own textile and I I LOVED that the designers got to make their own pattern for their fabric.  LOVED!  I want to use a paintbrush on a screen!  I want to create fabric patterns for hoodies!  Is there an app for that??

Vivienne Tam: "Hi.  Insert blatant HP commercial here.

Yeah, I'm not happy about it either."

Tim Pistola: "I've always wanted an awkward prom picture."

I must say that when Seth Aaron got the "phone call home" segment I almost threw up my dinner.  I proclaimed to the room (which included my very pregnant sister, her husband and 2 snoozing dogs), "IF SETH AARON GOES HOME I AM DONE WITH PROJECT RUNWAY FOREVER!"  To which they proclaimed, "Yes yes, now shut up."  (The dogs just continued to snore...)

So let's just get to the runway as my brain is making little sense of much else right now because I AM ABOUT TO BECOME AN AUNT!

"Giving birth... big whoop.  I do it in heels."

SAFE:

Me no like.  The green textile is only moderately appealing and the whole thing put together like this makes her look like she's Queen of the Attractive Lizard People.  But overall, Jay does good work, this look is well made and thought through (he was going for a militia vibe).  So safe it is.  

TOP 2:

MAYA:

I don't get it.  This looks like what Pebbles from The Flintstones would wear if she decided to become a cavewoman of ill repute.  The judges LOVED this pattern.  I think it's okay?  Yeah?  Maybe?  I dunno.  The whole look together doesn't send me.  

SETH AARON:

SQUEEE!  He didn't go home!  Well done, Producers!  A proper fake-out!

LOVE these pants.  And holy crap can this man make a good jacket.  However, I do home he changes it up as our fan fave who goes home this week goes home for presenting the "same thing week after week."  So even though it's awesome, I worry...

WINNER - Emilio:

Hmmmm.  I would pick SA's outfit over this.   But Kors went batty for the logo which is ESOSA (which the "O" is a heart in the textile) which stands for his name: Emilio Sosa.   OH - flashback - favorite part of the show is when Tim Howitzer said: "Emilio Sosa loves Seth Aaron?"  HAHAHA!  Emilio assured him that the textile wasn't proclaiming love to anybody except himself.  Tim then said he had to adjust his thinking.  HA!

The jacket on the model looks pretty big.  I will thoughtfully say that I am not a fan of the shoes with this look either.  AND, while I love the blue, I hate the print.  I don't want writing (scrawling?) all over my dress.  I want people to look at me in the dress and appreciate it, not try to read it and then wonder if it comes with Cliff Notes to expain what the hell I'm wearing.

And PS - I'm still pissed that Emilio wasn't auf'd from the Hardware Challenge.  That's still straight up bullshit and this biddy is holding a grudge.  PHOOEY!

And PS - Tim BoomBoomMaker hates it too!  Read his blog!

BOTTOM 2:

MILA:

Speaking of grudges... I'm holding a new one now since this piece of kakadoodoo wasn't sent home!  THIS IS THE UGLIEST THING I HAVE SEEN IN AGES.  The coat = hideous.  The dress is a teepee that even Rainbow Brite would find garish and to top it off BRANDISE CAN'T WALK IN IT AT ALL.  (And then in Models of the Runway Kors tells her she made the dress worse with her walk??? WTF?!  At least she didn't fall or roll down the runway!)  Brandise had to hitch up a side of the dress just to be able to move her feet.  Which tells you that this look is an all around FAILURE.  Bad design, BAD textile (which was the challenge) and bad bad bad execution.  And just fugly.  GRRR!  THIS look should be going home.  BOOO!

JONATHAN:

I love this look!  But the judges think her dress looks like a dirty table cloth.  I think it looks adorable!  And they hate the backwards jacket - I love it!  I agree that this isn't a winning look, but honestly, I think his model looks amazing with her skin tone and blond hair with this fabric.  The judges also said that Jonathan makes his model week after week look wide and short.  I do agree that he has made her look stumpy (which she isn't!!) so that's valid (and I don't think the shoe choice here works or does anything for the line of her leg).  

But Jonathan stood up for his textile and we saw on MOTR that Cerri stands up for Jonathan's look as well. I really like her... so you know what that means...  Sigh...

AUF'D... Fan favorite, Brown Sugar!

Yes.  This is not great.  Yes.  I've seen better.  But MILA SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME.  Her's was worse!  At least Anthony's concept is wearable.  And his textile design was better than hers.  GRRR!  BIDDY SMASH!

I'm sad to see Anthony go and that Mila and Emilio have been able to skate by even though they have presented STRAIGHT UP DISASTERS to the judges.  It's not fair.  If I didn't have a nephew on the way, I'd be completely wrecked.  (OOO - I hope my sister names her baby Tim Saturday Night Special.  Yes?)

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:

The models fill 20 minutes of time with taking pictures of themselves.  Seriously, what did that accomplish?

Seth Aaron's model is offered a DKNY shoot that pays a good bit of money, but it would be during the next runway show for Project Runway.  She makes the choice to pass up the gig and stay because she believes in Seth Aaron.  Awwwww!

Cerri is sent home after Jonathan proclaims that he has to change models since the judges don't think he dress her body type properly.  Sigh.  Phooey.  I liked her!  BOOO!  Phooey.

Next week - I'll be an aunt!  Oh and PR and MOTR will be on.  I think.  Meh.

*****

For more go to Lifetime, Project Runway and Blogging Project Runway!

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Save Season 8 of Project Runway!

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 9 - "Won't You Be My Neighbor?"

Blogging as I watch online... I have my cup of tea and my inner sass warm and ready to go!

Last week on Project Runway... Jonathan won because "pale understands pale."  Ben made jock-strap pants and they were super ugly.  Got it.  Moving on.

Opening credits... Love the lie Heidi says: "3 designers will show at Fashion Week."  Um, don't you mean, "10 will show at Fashion Week but we'll only air 3"?  Hmm?

In the apartments...

Brown Sugar slaps Jay awake.  My goodness, every show opens with some sort of slap fight between these two.  (Maybe Glenn Beck should interview them?)  OOO!  Amy is wearing a hoodie!  The Banger Sisters primp (as they always do, using a level to make sure their bangs are flush) and Maya reveals she's jealous she hasn't won anything yet.  Hmmm.

Moving on to Parsons...

On the (useless) Runway to (not) get their challenge from (chock full of baby) Heidi!  She starts off by wowing the audience with basic math: "HALF of you are gone."  No kidding.  Heidi tells them something about their challenge getting them in the "New York state of mind."  She then literally saunters off the runway and Brown Sugar gets the honors of giving us the "what does that clue mean?"  soundbite to cover the transition from the designers from the runway to the lounge to meet Tim.  Bleh.  Trite.  Formulaic.  

In the lounge...

Tim Gunn has Mr. Clean with him (Collier Strong, make-up artist for Loreal Paris - you'll remember him from the gripping episode that started off in the parking lot at the movie studio from last season).  OKAY.  I HAVE AN ISSUE.  Tim Gunn tells the designers IN THE LOUNGE that they will be using NYC as their point of departure for their designs.  HOLD UP, PROJECT RUNWAY.  Last week for the "elements challenge" you were on the roof and literally said, "Ignore all that NYC in the background."  And now for a NYC challenge, they are in a dim room.  THAT IS THE WORST BIT OF PRODUCING I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME, PROJECT RUNWAY.  That is sad.  Are the interns running the show?  No.  I take that back as interns would actually do a MUCH better job than you "paid professionals" are doing.  OMG.  I am so angry.  This is why I left the industry.  Because its run by morons like you guys.  (Holy crap, I need a hug... and a bottle of wine... and a rasher of bacon... and a new hoodie... I could go on.)

Tim goes on to tell the designers they'll be going to 4 very distinct neighborhoods and they've been chosen based on their history and impact on fashion.  The neighborhoods are: Chinatown, The East Village, The Upper East Side and Harlem.  (And I'd like to point out that the b-roll that accompanied these towns did NOT show anything historic or fashion related.  GRRR... Basic producing, people...)

OOO!  Emilio has the losing soundbite slot about how he HAS to win because he's from NYC!  YAY!  I can't stand Emilio ever since his washer-bikini was allowed to stay on the runway.  (Of course, that's not his fault, it's soundly the fault of the the judges and PRODUCERS.)  He says if he doesn't win it'll be really disappointing for him and his "people."  (I think they'll get over it.  Just a hunch.)

Tim CONTINUES (holy talk fest) saying that he has exciting news and they'll be working in teams.  AND OF COURSE they have to do 2 looks.  A look for day and a look for night and their budget is $300.  

Here's how the parings/neighborhoods break down:

Anthony & Maya = Chinatown

Amy & Jonathan = Upper East Side

Emilio & Seth Aaron = Harlem

Jay & Mila = East Village

Jay: "I'm stuck with Mila."  He's horrified.  Is this where the drama will come in that the Liftime promo PROMISED in this episode?  I wonder...

Ugh... now Collier talks about how he's going to help expand their design with product placement.  Isn't this a given every week?  Can we just be happy with the montage of product instead of yapping about it?  As a viewer, this is DULL and wastes my time.  Move it along!  (And this is a lot of talking for such a bland location.  I wish this had been outside!)  

They get 30 minutes to explore their neighborhood (yeah, cuz that's how easy it is to tour NYC, folks!) and sketch then they'll meet at Mood.   Tim tells them to "Run off to your neighborhoods!"  Um, Harlem isn't a run.  It's a solid subway ride.  ...Sigh...

Emilio & Seth Aaron arrive in Harlem and Emilio is so happy to be back in his neighborhood.  He missed the smell.  Okay?  Then Emilio says that Harlem is about churches and of course, the b-roll is of something that is not a church.  GOOD JOB PRODUCERS.   But they get b-roll of liquor stores and the fried chicken spots he speaks of!  2 out of 3 ain't bad.  HAHHAA!  As they walk down the street they compliment some lady on her shoes.  FINALLY!  Something candid!  Emilio explains that 99% of the population in Harlem wears denim.  They find a great mosaic art piece on a wall and decide that will be their inspiration.  PHEW.  Cuz at one point, the way this was going, I thought they were going to use a piece of fried chicken as inspiration....

Brown Sugar & Maya in Chinatown!  They decide that Chinatown reminds them of structure.  Yes!  Maya then reveals in a soundbite that Anthony is keeping her silly and that she needs a dose of that.  Awww!  That's sweet!  

Amy & Jonathan embrace their inner Gossip Girl and head up to the upper east side.  Jonathan explains the upper east side as luxurious and high end.  They notice that the UES has very few people/movement and the architecture is stark.  Jonathan then ponders who that will mix with Amy's sense of fashion (remember her "clown" pants?).  They are inspired by the wrought iron and want to use that with Jonathan's cutaway technique.  

Jay & Mila hit the East Village.  Jay just really wants to acknowledge that part of his challenge is accepting Mila.  They walk aronud and marvel at the rock-n-roll/grittiness of the village. Mila finds Jay scattered.  (Is it because he never said, "I want to color block?")

MOOD!  Shopping for 2 looks... $300.... Basic sum-up of events here: Nobody likes the textile the other chooses.  Thank you Moooooooooooooooooooooooood!

Back at Parsons...

HOLD THE FREAKIN' PHONE.  ANOTHER ONE DAY CHALLENGE???  FOR TWO LOOKS?  Especially when time was wasted with travel and shopping in the morning?  OMG.  F you, producers.  This is unacceptable.  Tim also says that the team leader will most likely go home for any messes.  UM... unless this is a mislead, this really gives the second team partner a pass on being at all helpful this week.  Sigh...

The groups get to work.  Maya's control issues come up... drama?  

First Commercial break...   That was a long Act 1... as in "boring."

Back in the workroom...

Design... design... design...  explanations of work...

Maya insults Jay be insinuating that she's an artist and he's not.  Emilio has to keep an eye on Seth Aaron because he's so fast with his sewing and who knows what he'll come back with if Emilio doesn't keep him in check.  Maya and Jay pretend they are married and do not talk.  (I kid!)  Jonathan & Amy are getting lost in their details and Jonathan worries they won't get done in time.

OH goodies... Mr. Clean gives lame make-up consultations...  BORING.  Thank GOD they are in teams so this at least goes by faster than if they were individuals.

Tim Gunn comes in and starts with Emilio and Seth Aaron.  (Do the designers even have anything to really show Tim at this point??) They have a bit of a jacket and a sketch of their "Cotton Club" dress.  Tim likes it and moves on.  (OH DEAR LORD, even the Tim Gunn portion of the show is deadly boring... THIS IS UNFAIR TO POOR TIM GUNN!)  

Next Tim talks to Anthony & Maya.  All they have a is a small texture detail and a sketch to show Tim.   Tim likes a striped fabric (that Maya earlier poo-poo'd) and says that could be a jacket.  Maya says: "It could."  AND THERE is no follow up soundbite from Jay explaining her two-facedness.  PRODUCERS!  HELLO!!

Jay & Mila are next.  Jay explains the pant he's making and where it will be "full" and Tim reminds him, "Will either Nina or Heidi say, 'What woman wants to look full there?'"  Jay assures him it won't come to that.  Then they show more sketches since they have nothing.  Tim asks about the neckline on a garment and they admit they are still "talking" about it.  Tim quips, "SOMEONE is going home."  Jay says, "Don't look at me!"  Hmmm...

Amy & Jonathan are last on Tim Gunn's tour.  They have more to show and explain than the other groups and Tim cautions them: "Are you at risk of over designing?"  Amy laughs and they silently agree.  Tim reminds them to focus on the look of the garment and not focus on over detailing.

Sew... sew... sew...... snooze snooze snooze....  Models come in and really the designers are nowhere near ready to fit them.  BECAUSE ITS A ONE DAY CHALLENGE for 2 looks!  (BAH!)

WAIT... is Jay making The Jock Strap Pants Part 2??  OMG... fugly.

(PS - I NEED Seth Aaron to make me a jacket. NEED.)

Models leave... sew sew sew.  It's 10:30pm!  Good lord, the designers are scrambling...  Emilio laughs at Mila & Jay.  Since he got to choose his partner before Jay did, he knew someone else would get Mila and it's "working as planned."  

Nobody is doing well on time.  NOBODY.

Jonathan: "We're f***ed."

Commercial break #2...

Runway day!

All the designers are stressing out about time - I feel so badly for them!  They should have more time!

Tim enters and even he's so bored by his 7-year-old speech that he says: "You know the drill with the Bluefly wall."  HA! 

Sew sew panic sew models boring comment sew sew hair make-up and everyone is screwed.

Uh... what's with the "plane swooping overhead" sound effect going on here when Mila's talking about how she's going to throw Jay under the bus on the runway?  Hmm?  I honestly thought, "Wow, did sound not pick up that a plane was going by overhead?"  But then heard it used a few times.  My opinion - lame effect.  Has NOTHING to do with a design work room!

Jonathan and Amy are literally sewing their models into their outfits...

Commercial break #3...

RUNWAY:

Sitting in for Michael Kors, Francisco Kosta from Calvin Klein.

"Up yours, Kors.  You're auf'd."

Guest judge: Molly Sims!

Molly:  "Dammit, Nina and I wore the same hair.

How embarrassing."

Let's start the show!

HIGHEST SCORES:

Emilio & Seth Aaron - Harlem:

  

Heidi is in love with both pieces.  I have to agree.  For one day MY LORD.  What the hell would happen if you gave Seth Aaron two days??  OMG!  The possibilities are staggering.  Although, I need to say that while I LOVE all his jackets, they are all starting to look a little similar and I'd love to see him design the hell out of a structured shirt instead of a jacket, just for a change of pace (and to avoid the "one trick pony" pigeon hole).  I haven't seen anybody be this inventive with denim since the Levi's challenge that Christian won way back when Project Runway was run by professional producers.  (Can you tell I have issues?)

Calvin Klein guy says he wishes the dress had been a bit shorter but then Heidi points out that to be sexier you just lift that zipper a little higher.  (NOW we know why she has so many kids...)  Nina thinks that SA overfussed the details of the jacket and had he left a few out, the denim look would have been classier.  Molly Sims loved it all.  

Okay... I hate Emilio but now I kinda like him.  It looks like he was a good team leader in that he DID bring color into SA's usually very drab/dark color choice and it is definitely the color in the daytime look that makes the outfit pop.  They really meshed as a team and I feel like they really worked well and efficiently together.  Good job, guys!

Anthony & Maya:

  

Okay... gotta say it.  HATE the day look.  WELL MADE but those two items do NOT go together at all in my world.  (Granted, my world is jeans, wifebeaters and hoodies, so there you go.)  I see the Chinatown influences in both and both are WELL made.  But woof to the first outfit.  Big miss in cohesion in my (non-sewing-or-design-experience) book.  I like them separately, not together.

Nina loves it!  She loves the touches and details but wishes there were more colors in the detail. Everybody really likes it and agrees that both are well made. 

Heidi asks what it was like working together.  Brown Sugar tells the judges: "Don't let that pretty face fool you.  If she doesn't like something she will surely let you know."

(SIDE NOTE:  WHERE IS ALL THE DRAMA THE PROMO PROMISED?!?!  Ugh...)  Maybe in the review of the bottom designs...

BOTTOM DESIGNS:

Jay & Mila - East Village:

  

Nina loves the nighttime look.  I do to, had I not seen it a million times from Mila already.  (She and Seth Aaron both have definite signatures that rock, but I think they need to make sure they don't get repetitive...)  But Nina calls out the top on the day look as looking like a leotard.  And thank goodness Heidi called out the day looks lack of structure for the boobs.  Yeeps.  It's a free for all up in there ya'll!

CK guy loves the pants and shirt together.  Molly can't get past the bad tank top.

When Heidi asked how it was working together Jay said they worked together "professionally."  It's true.  There was no yelling.  NO word from Mila?  

Jonathan & Amy - Upper East Side:

  

Sigh... I want to like these.  I really do.  But the leggings really make that top look ridiculous and the dress reminds me too much of the Gwyneth Paltrow disaster she wore to the Oscars years ago.

Awwww - they talk about how much love and respect they have for each other as designers.  How lovely!  They really did work well together, just victims of time.

Nina calls the daywear look out as looking unpolished.  Molly hates the color of the shirt and CK guy suggests making the shirt white with a straight leg pant to get more of an UES look to it.  Heidi calls it an eyesore.  

They all like Jonathan's nighttime outfit better, but Nina calls out the paneling as making the dress look heavy and cheap.

DECISION:

The winner of this challenge is EMILIO.... AND SETH AARON!  Seth Aaron says in a soundbite that this is a PR first in that there's a double winner.  

Seth Aaron: "But remember we don't get immunity."
Emilio: "Who cares?  I'm still here after my washer-bikini.

Luck is on my side!  Or the blackmail is working..."

And auf'd this week...  Amy.  Booo.  But I get it.  I think she's a designer who needs more time and the one-day challenges are just not her friend.  Bye, Amy!  At least you get to show at Fashion Week!

OH!  Jonathan is crying that she's leaving - OOOH!  Sad!

PS - Anybody notice that make-up was never mentioned in this MAKE-UP even though it was part of the challenge?  Sigh...  AND THERE WAS NO DRAMA ANYWHERE!  BOOO!

Next week on Project Runway - More crap!

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:

Brittany is chosen over Holly.  (Holly wore Jonathan's evening look.)  Auf she goes...

Next week on MOTR - More crap!

******

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A new side to this biddy...

OH my, kids.  I now have a second blog.  WHAT?  I know.  What the hell?

My second blog is titled: "The Social Media Biddy."  It's about my budding porno career.  HAHAHA!  No.  Seriously.  It's about getting the interwebs back from all this social media blather going on out there.  And yes, I'm using a social media tool to do it!

Go over and read what I have to say.  Let me know what you think.  Let's keep the GOOD conversations going, and not the jibber-jabber that is useless social media.  Word.

A letter for my grandpa...

Last year on April 2nd, my grandmother died.  So it came as no surprise when her husband, my grandfather, died within the year.  They were a unit, a couple, lost without the other.

My grandparents had great lives.  My grandmother was almost 90 and my grandfather was 98!  Long lives filled with lots of love.  However (and obviously) it's never easy to lose someone, especially when you've grown so accustomed to them being around!  How seriously lucky was I to have my grandparents well into my 30's?  What a gift!  Especially when they were as awesome and Evelyn & Bill Eolin.

My sister and I didn't make the service which was held yesterday afternoon.  We are in NYC working and on "baby-watch" as Sara is due to give birth sometime very soon.  (Squeee!  I'm gonna be an auntie!)  And I have to say, the one thing that has helped my whole family get through the loss of my grandparents is the new life that's come into our worlds in the past year.  My cousin Vincent has an 8-month-old son (WHO IS WEARING 18-MONTH-OLD CLOTHES - guess who's gonna be a football player??) and my sister got married to a WONDERFUL man, Sam, and now they have little Nathaniel on the way.  Ebb and flow, right?

I'm glad that I knew my grandparents as long as I did.  They were wonderful role models in how to spoil and love the younger generation of Eolins.  And thanks to them, I feel quite equipped to be an auntie.  I hope I can make them proud.

The letter below is what I wrote to be read at Grandpa's service yesterday.  My mom read it to the group, as she did for my grandmother's service.  Please enjoy and hug the ones you love!

*****

Dear Grandpa,


I wrote Grandma a letter for her service so I wanted to write one for yours.


I am so grateful for all the time I got to spend with you, Grandpa. You were always there with a a big “Grandpa love” which was a bone crushing hug followed by the scent of Old Spice. THOSE WERE THE BEST HUGS I've ever received in my life. I'm sad now to think I'll have to stalk random older men to have this experience with now. (I KID! HAHAHAHA! Gross.)


I am so glad that I had you around while I grew up. I remember you and Grandma stopping by all the time when we lived in Binghamton. You would just show up and it was always like it was a holiday when you two were by. I loved when Mom and Dad would travel since that meant unlimited Grandma & Grandpa time. There was always so much laughing and happiness! And fried haddock.


I never got to tell you how much I admired your path in life. The fact that you got to the level you did at Corning without going to college is astounding. You have two patents! I had no idea what that meant as a kid since I thought “patent” was a word used to describe a shiny pair of shoes. You accomplished so much. You knew more about tubing than anybody legally should. You were a genius and I wish I had been able to let you know how much respect I have for your accomplishments.


I'm sad that I won't see the sparkle in your blue eyes in person again. I'm sad that I'll never hear Grandma yell, “OH BILL!” which was always followed by your laughter and saying, “Oh Eve.” I'm sad that we'll never play cards again. Or that you could tell me about tubing and I might have a shot of understanding now that I'm older. I'm sad that there won't be anymore holiday cards or pictures or get togethers. However, I have 30+ years of memories to keep me company. My life with you and Grandma was like an exotic vacation. I got to spend an amazing time with you, and I can't go back, but the photographs and memories will always be crisp and clear, as if they happened yesterday.


You and Grandma played a major part in my life. I'm the person I am today because of the love, care and compassion you both showed me. The way I can thank you is to treat others around me as you would treat them. That means that first, I will make up stories about my neighbors. Second, I will make someone who is having a bad day laugh. I will always make sure my friends have a meal to eat. There will always be a full cookie jar. There will always be a deck of cards. There will always be a listening ear. There will always be compassion.


Be well on your next journey. I am glad that you are at peace. I hope you and Grandma can start a card game in heaven. Just don't let Grandma call anybody a “big goop.”  I'm guessing it's frowned upon.


Much love always,
Jennifer

****

(FYI into "Eolin Speal":  "Big goop" is what Granny would call people who she found stupid - it has no racial slurs or anything like that - she was just too classy to say "what a dipshit.")

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 8 - "Out of Their Element"

So... I caught most of this week's episode live.  I say "most" because I missed the first 14 minutes or so.  And guess what, because I didn't see the blatant foreshadowing of Act 1, I was pleasantly surprised that I actually liked the episode. (Did you fall over out of shock??) But I quickly realized after reading comments online the next day that the ONLY reason I enjoyed the show is because I didn't watch part of it.  Um... that's not what the producers are aiming for, is it?

For this blog,I'm going to watch up until where I joined, then jump to the runway.  K?

By the way... Still pissed that Emilio is still here... so should have gone home...  GRRR!  And the show opens with him smugly lisping about how someone had to go home and he's glad it wasn't him.  Dude.  I have no idea which judge you have a picture of rutting with a goat, because that's the only reason I can see you still being her.  You must have blackmail on SOMEONE.  You MUST.

Bangs Sr. (Mila) and Bangs Jr. (Maya) sit in the window and talk about the humanity of the group that's left.  Bangs Sr. thinks that Bangs Jr. is an old soul and that the more they share (about their bangs) the more they become friends.  Although that could change on the runway.  Awwww, Bangs Sr., thanks for keepin' it real.

WTH!  Jay is comparing the guys' friendship to a Victoria's Secret Wonderbra with a straight face.  HAHAHAHHAHAHAA!  (Note to self:  Compare my friendship with my girlfriends to Spanx.  "You keep my fat in so nicely.")  Ben then talks about how consistent he's been in being safe.  OH.  See, since I missed this on Thursday night, I didn't know going into the runway that he had the "loser" spot (which is also like only his second sound bite this season).  Sigh. 

Anthony has lost his viscera.  Maybe its in Jay's support bra...  TEE HEE!

Runway w/ Heidi... 9 left, Jay has immunity.  Heidi tells them to bring their best to the runway.  UM... really?  Do we need to tell them that?  Isn't that the point of the show?  It's not the "Half Ass Project Runway" is it?  (Well, to the producers it is...) She also lets us know that there will be no more immunity for winners.  (Scurvy for everybody!)  

Hold the phone.  Did all the designers just go to Parsons only to be sent back to the roof of their apartment building?  What a waste of your talents' time and energy!  And oh good, bad "speculation" sound bites.  (Didn't miss those...)

There they are on the roof.  AGAIN!  (Producers, do you get it for free, perhaps?)  Tim tells them to ignore all the man-made elements around them and just concentrate on "Earth, fire, wind, air" as their elements.  (Producers, why the roof if it didn't match the challenge?  I hear NYC has beautiful Botanical Gardens and there seems to be a giant park called CENTRAL PARK that has water, air, earth and bbqs.  I give up on you people. It's like you're not even trying anymore...)  

We never got around to hiring "water."

And also part of this challenge is the big "Garnier Product Placement" element.  Gross.  There are ways to make this way more organic to the show than calling it out.  ESPECIALLY since it never comes into play with the judging.  NEVER.  (Until celebrity hair stylist, Phillip Carreon, is auf'd on the runway, this part of the challenge is moot!)

Here's how the elements break down:

Jay = Air

Maya = Water

Jonathan = Air

Ben = Water

Mila = Earth

Anthony = Fire

Amy = Fire

Emilio = Earth

Seth Aaron = Air

Seth Aaron has no idea what to do with Air since it's happy.  HA!  

They go back to Parsons (Seriously - this traveling back and forth for no good reason is a waste of time and production money!) and sketch, then get $150 to go to Mood.

Oh look at all the time Ben is getting.  Yeah... had I seen this, I'd so know he was going home.  Jeebus.

Designers, I must tell you, I'm so bored 

I might set something on fire just for funsies.

Off to Mood... shop shop shop... Anthony says he doesn't see "red" when he sees fire, he sees the gray remains.  Um, sure.  Okay.  (PS - awkward yet interesting story about the pastor he knew who burnt down his house on purpose!)

Thank you Mooooooooooooood!

Back at Parsons... everybody talks about their element...  

But nobody talks about The Fifth Element...

Tim then tells them that they have 1-day to do this challenge.  (OF COURSE!  Producers, did you shoot this entire season over the span of a week?  Seriously!!  This is ridiculous!) 

Commercial break... and we're back!  Blah blah blah... Tim enters with Phillip Carreon (carry on!) and this is where I came into the show live on Thursday.

Boy I really get why this show sucks now.  Act 1 is SO BORING.  And so predictable!  Completely predictable.  It puts me (as well as other viewers) off for the rest of the show! BOOO!

So let's skip over this bullshit and get to the runway:

Judges - Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and French designer dude, Roland Mouret.

Michael Kors: "I'm looking for the element of surprise."

SAFE:

ANTHONY:

Well... I see ruins, but not fire.  Nothing about this says "fire."  It's not smoldering, it's not hot, it's not anything other than a pretty dress with a fierce slit up the side.  Oh well.  It's safe... onwards.

EMILIO:

Yep, looks like earth in that it looks like moss.  I guess we know which way true north is when one wears this dress...

JAY:

The "hat" is a little too Goth Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick for me.  I like the dress, the leggings are interesting and yes, I get "air" looking at this.  I also get the urge to order an unhappy hotdog. 

TOP 2:

MAYA:

OH PHOTOGRAPHER.  This was your best shot?  When she looks like she has broken marionette hands?  Yeah.  Shame.  Shame.

Mila had water and describes how the ruffles are ripples of water and that it's old Hollywood.  Nina Garcia launches into her saying this has already been done by Nina Ricci.  (I scoured her site and yes, Nina likes a good ruffle, but I didn't see anything that would make me scream, "You stole that look."  This is no Kenley-Canary-Bird dress rip-off.)  Nina goes on to say that Mila is ALWAYS referential in her styles. HUH?  It's episode 8 and this is the first I can remember hearing of this.  UM... confused.  And its in the top... so is the inspiration a bad thing?  SO CONFUSED.

SETH AARON:

Seth Aaron had air as his element and he described his garment as the night air.  Okay.  Yes, I can see that.  I can also see that Seth Aaron is definitely the designer of this outfit.  MAN - this is amazing for just one day's work!  OMG! I could barely get a button sewn in 15 minutes, much less make all THAT.

Love from the judges...  French dude tells him that top designers would be jealous of his look.  

WINNER - JONATHAN!

LOVE this look - HATE the shoes.  HATE.  Loathe.  YICK.

Jonathan explains that this is laughter.  He created his own textile and played off his model's skin tone.  IT'S AMAZING.  All the judges agree - and that her hair and make-up are best in show.  HOORAY!  A well deserved win!  

"Pale understands pale!"  Best quote of the night!

BOTTOM 2:

MILA:

OMG.  This is horrible.  Brandise is a pretty model and yet, she looks completely homely here.  (I personally would auf Phillip Carreon for this look!)  To me, this looks like an outfit Spock's mother would wear to a Vulcan mixer.  Ri-ugly-diculous.

Mila waxes about being inspired by minerals and whatnot.  Kors tells her that her design is nothing like her past designs (why is this bad??) and that it's too normal.  (Kors likes Vulcans?)  He then calls her a one-trick pony which makes me say, 'Huh?'  Nobody likes it overall.  French guy tells Mila that she missed the boat because she didn't make a show piece and "that's what the catwalk is all about."  YES.  Nailed it.  Thank you, French dude!  

AMY:

OH dear.  Amy explains that she wanted the hair to be part of the fire element and the bowl is "contained chaos."  I'll say it again: Oh dear.

Heidi tells her it looks like a cat in a sling.  Kors says she's a barmaid who is serving her hair.  Nina calls it "weird."  (Again, shouldn't Phillip Carreon get auf'd for this mess????)  Heidi asks to get rid of the hair extensions and the outfit really isn't that bad without it.  You can actually see the construction of the top and the "bowl" looks like an avant garde piece.  But I still don't see "fire."

Kors likes it better without the hair but Nina still doesn't like it at all.  (Is it me or is Ms. Garcia just crabby pants through the judging - which I enjoy because she has a personality this week - meow!)  Kors tells Amy that she got caught up in the challenge and lost herself.  Yeah.  Agree.

AUF'D - BEN:

Ben made a shark inspired suit - The Great White.  There are ugly ass shark teeth on the cuffs.  YEEKS.

The jockstrap pants are terrible as is the rest of the outfit.  Heidi nails it: "If you don't know how to make a suit, don't make a suit."  Amen.  Ben admits he bit of more than he could chew.  

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY:

Alison, Ben's model is sent home.  Not a surprise.  The girls will miss her positive energy.  I will miss wondering how she can see straight due to her eyes being a mile apart.

***

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The Robots - Episode 3 - "Sick"

FINALLY!  The long awaited Episode 3 of The Robots, titled "Sick."  Enjoy!

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 7 - "Hard Wear & Tear"

GUIDELINES FOR READING JENNIFER (EOLIN'S) PROJECT RUNWAY BLOG:

* I am writing this blog while wearing black shorts, a purple wifebeater and a big robe

* I am NOT fashion forward

* In short... I am a dork.

***

2 weeks ago on Project Runway....

...There was an episode 2 weeks ago?

Oh right - kids!

Seth Aaron won with a hoodie.

Janeane lost with her cheap mall outfit.

***

Okay... I'm eating a brownie while I watch to (hopefully) maximize pleasure and minimize my fuss.  HAHAHAHAA!  Oh who are we kidding?  Unless I have chocolate in the form of an IV, I will continue to fuss and be bothered by everything around me.  I am a delight that way.

(PS - Just to give you an idea of my elements right now, the school next door to me has a patio and there are girls "practicing" to be cheerleaders.  I just heard the words "Ooooooh snap" wearily chanted to unenthusiastic clapping and stomping about 290483930 times in the last minute.  So obviously the brownie will be a failed yet delicious effort on my part to stay sane...)

Okay... watching!

Yada yada yada... opening credits... OH Pamela, you're already auf'd... always find it so sad to hear such confidence from people who are cut so early on.  Oh well...  

Here's Emilio in a soundbite that lets me know he either wins or loses this challenge.  And he's talking about how he's half-way to Bryant Park.  Producers, we already know that you had just about the entire cast show at Bryant Park, so all references to them wanting to make it there here on in are moot and stupid, because they ALL showed.  (See, my brownie is NOT working...)

A billion soundbites about "I'm in the top 10!"  It's episode 7.  Whoopeee.  Make it to top 5 then start squawking about it.  This is just filling time right now with emptiness.  I learned nothing about anybody.  Except that everybody wakes up in the morning.  Woo.

Mila talks about how she (doesn't) feel bad that so many women have gone home.  I really wonder if she is this conceited or if she's edited.  I really can't get a handle on her because she seems to smart to be this stupid.  Hmmm.

RUNWAY...  OH!  Heidi is just chock full of baby, isn't she?  (Stole that phrase from my bro-in-law as that's how we describe my sister right now, "That Sara, she's chock full of baby!"  She usually frowns at us while we immaturely giggle...)   Heidi reminds Seth Aaron that he has immunity to which he says "cool" as though she told him that he just contracted airborne herpes.  Did he not have his coffee?  Where's the enthusiasm for being in the top 10, Seth Aaron??  Did you not drink the "producers' brew" Kool-Aid?

(OMG... "Oh snap..." I don't know how much more of this cheerleader practice I can take...)

Useless use of Heidi... Useless soundbite from Jesse reiterating EVERYTHING that was just said without adding any opinion or story.  REALLY PRODUCERS?  Really.  

Designers are sent to see Tim Gunn and designer-to-be-named... And it's Michael Kors.  Of course.  Because they can't seem to get anybody on the show who isn't already tied to it.  GRR!  

MK tells them that they'll be shopping at a hardware store for their challenge.  SOMEBODY tell me how it's relevant for the designers to get this challenge A) from Michael Kors, B) in his SoHo store and C) why couldn't Heidi tell them this on the runway and save the show production time and costs?  HMMMM?  (Time for my third brownie... I'm not kidding and OH SNAP I AM GONNA KICK THE WALL CLAP CLAP STOMP STOMP!)

Amy is excited and Emilio is scared.  Okay - that's two soundbites from Emilio.  In or auf'd for sure.. we'll see.  Tim adds that they have to make an accessory.  SQUEE!  I love accessories!  (Still want the Campbell's clutch....)

Budget - $150 each.  35 minutes to shop.

Tim Gunn: "Raise your hands if you've been 
in a hardware store before.  Online doesn't count."

Hey look!  It's Ben in the picture above!  I forgot he was alive since we never see/hear from him. And I'm guessing since SA has immunity, he will get zero TV time this week.

Thank you NOT Mooooooooooood!


Back in the workroom, Tim let's them know this is a 1-day challenge (of course).

Tim Gunn:  "Listen, take it up with your union. 
 I just get paid to talk 
and wear the shit out of this suit."

Build build build...

Jay is using trashbags.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Cheap way out of a challenge, dude.  Already I say "BOOOOO!"

Seth Aaron's airtime so far is him beating the crap outta some foil over his dress form:

Anybody else think that the word "collapsible" is in an 
unfortunate spot on this dress form?  Hmm?

COMMERCIAL BREAK... and time for another brownie... (Thank goodness they are Trader Joe's Guiltless Brownies that I made with Greek yogurt... not totally bad for you and YUMMY!  Oh and the "snap/clap" next door has finally stopped.  FINALLY.)

Build build build....

Emilio gives the most insightful soundbite about how hardware materials aren't for making clothes.  WHAT?!  REALLY!  I know what he's saying, but the way its placed in the show, Emilio sounds like he's brand new to Earth and learning about Earth life as he goes.  

HOLY MUD PIES!  IT'S A SOUNDBITE FROM BEN!  I had no idea that he even had a voice!  I thought he was perhaps a mute or a mime!  WOW!  There you are, Ben!  Welcome to the show.  

Oh look, Mila is color blocking in black and white.  Oh well, as long as she makes it work!

Bang bang pound build pound bang...

Why are we hearing Jay's story?  Is he out?  Or does he win?  Hmmmmmmm.....

Tim Gunn enters!

First Mila.  She tells Tim her look is mod (it's her thing) and that it's made primarily made out of paint tray liners and gaffer's tape.  She is making a wide cuff as her accessory.

Jesse!  (Who I swear said, "Jim!" instead of "Tim!" when he saw Sir Gunn standing next to him...)  Tim tells Jesse that his "Elizabethan mini" is looking like a school project.  Yeeks.  Jesse is doing a cap or hair piece for his accessory (which is cool cuz he rocked the flower in the little girl's hair a few weeks back.)

(The "snap/clap" girls are back next door.  [WOW, that doesn't sound good.]  They are now the "let's scream and giggle as loud as we can girls."  I don't have enough brownies for this....)

Emilio is next and he looks like he's making a Barbarella bathing suit.  He tells Tim though that it's a mini skirt. Maybe Emilio has taken the word "collapsible" on the dress form to heart and thinks that's the way things really work "down there" on the ladies??)  I dunno.  Personally, Emilio seems screwed.  Errr, "washered."  

Anthony hates what he has and Tim is impressed that Anthony is editing himself as his outfit looks "tortured."   

Next stop, Jay.  Tim is shocked: "We went to a hardware store to shop?  How did you make a pair of leather pants?"  Jay's witty and smug reaction: "Right?"  Tim loves the pants though despite the garbage bag as the fabric.  Then Tim asks a question about pants I don't think he's ever gone near: "How does she get in and out?"  (AHHAHAHAHHAHAAA!  OH man.  Sorry.  Sugar high from the brownies.  I can be a jerk.)  Jay tells Tim he'll have to sew them on her as they keep shrinking as he builds them.  (UM, YIKES!  A girl's worst fear!)  He's going to make a belt as an accessory as "she's gonna need it."  

Maya and her bangs are making an outfit out of cords.  But most importantly, she's created a beautiful necklace out of keys and screens.  (My neck aches just looking at it - I wonder how much it weighs??) She's then making a shift dress out of screen.  Tim is excited about this (he says in a monotone voice).  

Tim leaves them and sends in their models - Make it work!

Jay's model can not even get her FOOT in his pants.  (OMG, these models are so tiny to start with, did the pants even have an opening to begin with?!?)  Emilio is going to make a bathing suit because he is washered on time (HAHA - I delight me) and Jonathan is really thinking he won't finish.  PRODUCERS - WHY IS THIS A ONE DAY CHALLENGE??  The designers are scrambling (especially since they have to make an accessory as well) with their new textiles.  Producers, you are MEAN people.  You would have had better garments and story had you given them MORE TIME. 

Emilio worries that he doesn't have enough hardware to cover his 800 foot tall model, Holly.  Poor girl!

Commercial break...

Runway day - Everybody getting ready.  Maya and Mila drone in their monotone way about how excited they are to get back to fabric.  OH SHUT UP.  1 challenge w/out fabric.  It's not like you had to put a prom dress together out of thumbtacks last week.  SHUT UP.

Emilio makes me LAUGH - " It's a Project Runway first, you're all in the bottom 10."  HAHAHA!  Well done, Emilio.  Unlike your garment. (Ouch, I know...)

Oh look, there's AMY in the apartment!  Where's she been this whole episode?  Ohhh, she must be safe.  With Seth Aaron and Ben.  (My guesses before hitting the runway due to zero air time...)

Build, pound and bitch...

The models show up.  (I hope Holly has waxed!)

Hair & Makeup montage...

Emilio can't get the bikini to stay up and HELLO.  OMG.  Holly.  Lady, I am so sorry for you.  You are a brave woman and I salute you.  And I also want to take back the brownies I ate....

Soundbite from Jesse saying he'll defend his outfit all the way to the grave.  OHHHH NOOOOO.....

Commercial break.... RUNWAY!

OMG - there's no pic to post but swear to Brother Sewing Machines that Ben's wearing pink culottes.  I am not kidding.  WOW.

Judges - MK, NG, Isabel Toledo (who made a dress for Michelle Obama) and Stephen Webster, a jewelry designer.  Let's start the show! (And no, Lifetime has NOT supplied pics of the judges.  BOOO.)

(UM...watching the runway show and WHAT is with the cymbal crash between looks?  Did the editor get a new sound effect?  Yeesh!)

SAFE:

BEN:

WHAT?!  SAFE? This is so hideous and trite and WHO CARES.  If this were made out of fabric he would get called out as being dull and safe.  I see no innovation or thinking outside of the box here.  OMG.  Safe.  Really.  I give up...

(And please no offense to the model, but WHY do her eyes look like they are in separate time zones???  This is not a good look for her!)

JONATHAN:

I like this.  It's a little busy for my taste and somehow, this photograph makes his model's legs look super stumpy (HOW?! Is it the cut of the dress?  The angle?)  Although had this been in the top 3, I would not have minded a bit.  Good job, Jonathan! (Although where is the little clutch she had on the runway?  Her hands look empty, yes?)

AMY:

WHAT??? SAFE??!?  LOOK AT THE DESIGN!  The bodice is so intricate and I LOVE how she used the washers.  I love this and I love that its made out of sandpaper.  However... where's the accessory here?  Is it the flower type thing on the bodice?  The reason I don't know is because Amy had like zero airtime this week.  (PRODUCERS!  BAD!  BAD!)

SETH AARON:

Dude.  YOU ARE LUCKY YOU HAD IMMUNITY.  Because this is awful.  STRAIGHT UP AWFUL.  It looks cheap and "project" like.  And is your your accessory your initial on her neck?  WOW.  I applaud the effort (and also having seen your final runway show, I know you are super freakin' talented) but this is a miss. Maybe if it were a hoodie I'd have an easier job liking it.  Until then, I hope your model is able to repel bullets with her cuff.

TOP 2:

MILA:

I LOVE THIS.  I kinda can't stand Mila, but I love this.  Paint tray liners FTW.  Although the collar seems to be a little tight around Brandise or they just use unfortunate shots on the runway (where she looks to be in pain, but according to her Tweets, she assures us all that she's not).

I wish there were two cuffs though, not just the one as I think it's a cool feature to the dress design.  Would have LOVED to see some spats too!  

The guest judge (guy) loved that she gave something so stiff so much flow.  TEE HEE!  But true... she really did.

MAYA:

YES.  GORGEOUS.  Love the fit, love the jacket and LOVE THE ACCESSORY.  Plus the model is working this outfit.  She looks so comfortable and confident.  LOVE!

Kors loves the look head to toe.  He loves that she looked at normal pieces of hardware and saw them in an abnormal way. (I swear MK is the only person who can say "abnormal" in a compliment and get away with it...)  Heidi nails the real achievement of this look:  It doesn't look like it came out of a hardware store.  SO TRUE.   Maya really embraced the challenge and rocked it out - love it, lady!

WINNER!

JAY:

Hmmmmm.  Okay.  Love it but it's trash bags which lay flat like fabric.  I think this is GORGEOUS and should be in the top 2, but not the winner.  Maya and Mila actually used HARDWARE.  I do love the design of the belt though.  I mean, don't get me wrong, this is amazing.  But it could have been made with fabric just as easily.  I really think The Banger Sisters got ... say it with me... washered.  

Heidi loves it which makes sense because this outfit SCREAMS Heidi.  Kors talks admits that he never thought these were trashbags.  And then that's it.  Gushing over.  Wow.  That's it for the winner?  Hmmmmph.

BOTTOM 2:

EMILIO:

WOW.  Holly.  Lady, good job.  Way to own wearing nothing at all.

And HEY there, Emilio!  Look at you going to the Johnny from Season Six bag of tricks.  I like how you say you set out to do a bathing suit because everybody else would do a dress.  WOW!  Look at you lie so easily.  Did the steamer ruin your skirt?  That would have been a better excuse.  AND WHY NOT tell the truth?  "The washers cost more than I thought, I didn't have enough so I improvised."  Hmmm?

MK calls her out on looking cheesy.  YES.  She does.  (Plus one dip in a pool in that outfit and she's gonna need a tetanus shot.)  Heidi doesn't like how haphazardly the outfit looks put together since there is no pattern/design.  

AND WOW - what is with the attitude from Kors' eye roll when Isabel talks.  OOOOO - what happened behind the scenes that we didn't get to see?  PRODUCERS!  THAT IS WHAT MAKES COMPELLING TELEVISION!!!  

And um... accessory?   Hello?

ANTHONY:

BROWN SUGAR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?  This is awful.  Kors nails it by calling it a bad prom dress.  Yes.  Yes it is.  Nina calls it boring.  So agree.  The guy guest judge tells Anthony: "I think you went to the software store, not the hardware store." HA!

Um... and can we please know what the purple is made out of?   Where do you find THAT in a hardware store??

And what's the accessory?  Her belt?  Booooooooo.

AUF'D!

JESSE:

NO.  SORRY.  Ben's dress is way worse, as is Anthony's.  Granted, this is not anything I would wear, but it's at least a LOOK that A) COVERS HIS MODEL'S BODY, B) HAS AN ACCESSORY and C) shows some creativity on his part!  OMG!  REALLY!??!?!?  THIS LOOK IS AUF'D???  

Nina says it looks a little Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz.  Guy judge (really, I can't be bothered to remember his name anymore) likes the look with her hair.  (YES, she's styled fab for the dress, great shoes too!)  Kors loves her hair and the headpiece but calls the dress a Hershey's Kiss/costume.  BUT he then says that the a-symmetry in the back and stitching are amazing.  SO WHY IS THIS LOOK OUT AND ANTHONY AND EMILIO LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER CHALLENGE?  WHY?  

Biddy angry.  Oooooh snap, Biddy smash!  

Bullshit.  All of it!

Next time on Project Runway:  Everybody is stressed out.  Seriously, that's it for the promo?  WTF?  I have zero idea what the challenge is.  BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  SMASH OH SNAP BROWNIE CLAP!

MODELS OF THE RUNWAY.... 

WHOA.  Emilio doesn't pick Holly????  He should be auf'd just for that.  SHE is the reason he wasn't auf'd because she OWNED that runway.  That's it, Emilio, you are officially an idiot.

YES!!  AMY TAKES HOLLY!  And Jesse's weird model (aka "Not Cameron Diaz") goes home.  Justice is served.  Phew.  Obviously... time for another brownie...

Next time on MOTR:  Another model goes home.  WOW!

*****

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(This crap will not be tolerated for another season, here us, Producers?)