Friday, June 12, 2009

Living on a Budget (or: OMG! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!)

"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?"
-- John Barrymore

It's been a month and a half since I've joined the world of the unemployed. Because I left my job, I don't get unemployment benefits. (Maybe if I have 8 babies, the government will feel obliged to kick in for something?) I have to say zero income is pretty sobering. (Literally, who can afford to go out to drink when you have no money? ZING!)

As I was writing the above paragraph, I got a call from an agent in NYC who was doing me a favor (meaning, I wasn't signed with him cuz I hadn't gotten any work yet) to see if I could get my humor column syndicated or write for other magazines. "It hasn't been a good response, Jennifer," he said. "So we're going to have to close the book on this." I mustered a quiet, "Thank you for calling to let me know," and then hung up. I wanted to throw up, but I'm against throwing up, so thankfully that (disgustingly messy and stinky) activity was averted. (Plus I can't afford a new keyboard right now. Bonus! I just inadvertently saved money! Which is good since I just paid $609 to COBRA for health insurance. Paging Michael Moore!!)

And in what I'm calling "the best bad news ever" the pilot that I did for Oxygen will BE ON THE AIR! Happy fists! But I don't get paid for it! Pissy fists! The exposure will be great though since it will be national. And my family and friends who aren't in LA will get a chance to see me in action. And mayhaps more people will find my blog through it! I'll keep you posted on when it will air and if there are any future episodes... If I haven't died from starvation by that point. (HA! I kid! I can afford cereal and toast. Mostly. Is tap water a food group?)

I'm still working on my book.... slowly. Naps always seem just a bit more interesting and fruitful. As does rearranging my sock drawer, scrubbing the kitchen counter and cracking my knuckles and then commenting on the timbre of each crack to Matilda. (Who doesn't seem to care, but gives me nose kisses anyways out of pure pity.)

I'm working on my stand-up too... but scanning LOLDogs often seems like a better (and more hilarious) option.

F, kids. This new old biddy is a bit depressed.

The good thing is that I know it will pass. Everything does. That's the benefit of being a 30+1-mumble-something-year-old. Wisdom to know not sweat the small stuff (as best you can). Also, I have good friends and an awesome dog, which are what matter at the end of the day. Writing will get easier, I'll shake off the "disappointments" and find new things to be excited about. Life will go on!

"The only thing money gives you is the freedom to not worry about money."
--Johnny Carson

So until I find a paycheck (or a sugar daddy - takers??), I shall try to find my mojo so I can start writing again. I know that I have the talent to do it. I just need the positive energy. Maybe I'll find it after I take a nap...


  1. I can't be your sugar daddy, but I'll be happy to invite you to our first party and look the other way while you stuff your purse with hot wings.

    Seriously, if can make it out to Shoaks during the day, let's have lunch. I support the arts (and artists).

  2. That is excellent news, will check the cable at home to make sure I get Oxygen and if not call the cable company to make it happen. Focus on the happy news and not the rumbling in your stomache. Books are hard work...people say write a it is the easiest thing in the world. Stay focused you can do it!


  3. Seriously happy fists with the Oxygen news!! And in regards to the other crap....hang in there. I know that statement is so much easier said than done, but that is what I keep saying to myself (as I am organizing room, and doing everything BUT the work I should be doing!).

    "Laughter rises out of tragedy and rewards you for your courage."

  4. Congrats on the Oxygen pilot! Kind of messed up that you're not getting paid for it, but like you said- the exposure is key :o) Congrats again- AWESOME news!

  5. Yeah, I just graduated college with a degree in graphic design. I am now a completely broke and unemployed college graduate. So I need to try that keeping positive thing. (Which is tough)

    And what are your thoughts on this new show on Bravo, The Fashion Show? It's pretty much Project Runway without Tim Gunn. Which is just upsetting. And I don't think Kelly Rolands can stack up to Heidi Klum, and what about Michael Kors?

  6. I don't like The Fashion Show. I think that the talent is marginal, the show just is a bit flat for me. I just read the blogs about it, don't even bother with the episode. :)

  7. Who's the badass that is coming to my tv, via Oxygen? Holy shit, Jennifer that is so awesome and I can't wait to see it! I'm assuming full alert of all pertinent info will be posted accordingly.

    Glad to hear you know you are awesome enough that this shall pass for you. :)

  8. Don't give up! I know you won't, but don't. I hate my job and want to quit. Hate it, but I don't have the conjones to leave it so I can write more and get my stuff out to agents. The Oxygen pilot sounds awesome. I wonder why they won't pay you? That sucks big time.



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