Thursday, June 4, 2009

I have a bone to pick with Mott's...

Since quitting my job in order to live the dream (of unemployment and hot dogs for dinner on a nightly basis), I've been spending a lot of time in front of my talking idiot box. And I'm actually one of the rare few that LIKE commercials since a lot of them have my friends in them and the other ones tell me how I can achieve softer skin. (Friendship and soft skin are my two top priorities in life.)

However, this commercial is on ALL the time and I have no patience for it at all as A) I have no friends in it, B) it does nothing for my skin and C) I find myself yelling at the television every time it airs like the biddy that I am.

This commercial is so stupid it should be illegal. Really, Marcia Cross? The secret in apple juice is that there's 2 servings of fruit in each cup? Really? REALLY!?


Up yours, lady, that's not a secret. If Mott's Apple Juice has as much protein as a Cornish game hen, THAT'S a flipping secret. Or that it clears up your skin better than Proactive. Or that monkeys will fly out of your ass and perform your favorite song from "Cabaret." THESE ARE ALL MAGICAL SECRETS! BAH!

And let's talk about something else that's Marcia's secret but won't talk about - that Botox. Just drink your two servings of fruit and age with the rest of us. Or go back to hawking Olay products. But promise you won't start doing hot dog commercials. I really don't want to know how many servings of butt and giblets I'm eating...


  1. So glad i'm not the only one yelling at the TV! I have a confession i'm a big dork! I love the new cingular commercials cause i love finding all the "hidden bars" :-)

    enjoying your self imposed hiatis?!

  2. HA! The hidden bars - me too!

    The self-imposed hiatus is going well. It has its ups and downs, but mostly ups these days, and that's good.

    I'll have some exciting news soon! :)

  3. Ha! I hadn't seen that one yet.

    I think you need to do a blog on the Jack In The Box mini sirloin burger one. It's so terrible, but the song stays in my head forever after I've seen it.

  4. Well. Aren't YOU the bigmouth. Marcia specifically said it was a SECRET.

    And how can this be the only thing bothering you?? Do you know how long it's been since we've earned us some 'letters from Jennifer???'

    You keep us waiting, we'll keep sending over the 'meh' guy.

  5. With my dvr I rarely watch commercials anymore, but for sure I'll be yelling at Marcia Cross when I come across this one!

  6. oh my god Eileen the jack in the box scares the begezus out of me. He's almost, almost as bad as that freaking Burger King guy! i get shivers just thinking about them. Freddy, Jason, Michael they don't scare me but Jack and King do ... go fig :-)

    will keep fingers crossed for whatever big news you have coming Jennifer, PR starts back soon...gonna watch?!




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