Since quitting my job in order to live the dream (of unemployment and hot dogs for dinner on a nightly basis), I've been spending a lot of time in front of my talking idiot box. And I'm actually one of the rare few that LIKE commercials since a lot of them have my friends in them and the other ones tell me how I can achieve softer skin. (Friendship and soft skin are my two top priorities in life.)
However, this commercial is on ALL the time and I have no patience for it at all as A) I have no friends in it, B) it does nothing for my skin and C) I find myself yelling at the television every time it airs like the biddy that I am.
This commercial is so stupid it should be illegal. Really, Marcia Cross? The secret in apple juice is that there's 2 servings of fruit in each cup? Really? REALLY!?
THERE ARE TWO SERVINGS OF FRUIT IN APPLE JUICE?! Wha--??
Up yours, lady, that's not a secret. If Mott's Apple Juice has as much protein as a Cornish game hen, THAT'S a flipping secret. Or that it clears up your skin better than Proactive. Or that monkeys will fly out of your ass and perform your favorite song from "Cabaret." THESE ARE ALL MAGICAL SECRETS! BAH!
And let's talk about something else that's Marcia's secret but won't talk about - that Botox. Just drink your two servings of fruit and age with the rest of us. Or go back to hawking Olay products. But promise you won't start doing hot dog commercials. I really don't want to know how many servings of butt and giblets I'm eating...