Saturday, January 23, 2010

Project Runway - Season 7 - Episode 2 - "Designers in the Dell"


* Jennifer (Eolin) is a jackass
* That is all.


Last week on Project Runway:

Too many peeps,
And Seth Aaron gives me the creeps.
Emilio takes the win,
Cuz Christiane's was ugly as sin.
Ping is established as odd,
While Ben has Deiter's bod.
But thank goodness for Tim Gunn!
As without him this show I would shun.
And surprise surprise,
A model's demise.
Doing nothing wrong
Except sporting the losing sarong.
Oh Project Runway,
Sometimes you go astray.
Find your way,
Or fans will go away,
And we'll be left with "Launch My Line."
PS - I'd rather have flu made from swine.



Gutten tag, readers!  Wow, episode 2 already?  Crazy!  But what's even crazier (like my transition?) is the open to the show:  Everybody getting ready in the apartments and being like, "I can't believe people are going home!"  PISSED FISTS!  I bitch about this every season, but now it's Season 7 and these conversations are SOOOOO TRITE.  Self-edit, producers!  Let them talk about it if they naturally talk about it, but don't include it in the show.  WOW!  I know.  Look, I feel your pain.  These dialogs are to you what that security blanket was to Linus from Peanuts.  I get it, but let it go. It's stinky and it's time to grow up.  You have to maintain your audience's perspective and understand what will bore them.  And right now, I feel like Marty McFly watching that episode of The Honeymooners in 1955 with his mom.  (OMG, am I from the future???  Squeee!)

And while I'm crabbing about things (cuz I'm sooooooo good at it!!), let's just say that I KNEW WHO WAS GOING HOME due to the "I'm going home" soundbite slot being filled by the auf'd designer talking about how she doesn't want to go home.  BOOOOOOOOOO!  COME ON!  I get that you need to make that losing character present in the narrative but STOP PHONING IT IN.  STOP IT.  Bad dog!  

(Grrr......... Taking a break for chocolate, Tylenol and tea.... and chocolate...)

Okay, I'm better.  Let's get catty!  First up... a field trip... LITERALLY!

"Not on a roof, step in time,
Stuck in mud, step in time!
Ugly black boots that cross the line,
Screw this noise, step in time!"

Tim Gunn:  "So 15 models walk into a bar and the bartender says,
'I'm sorry, but we don't serve models here,'
and the models say, 'But we come with lifetime warranties.'
See?  See what I did there?  Shut up, you do better.
I'm standing in a field.  It's either jokes or Xanax, people."

Tim Gunn: "Designers, the models will now
pick what designer they want to work with on this challenge.
Yes, Designers, I know this makes no sense.  
Welcome to the producing talents of Bunim-Murray."

The challenge:  Design an outfit for an industry party out of burlap bags.
Thank you, MOOOOOOOOD?

The models' craft service cart.

Tim Gunn:  "I'm concerned.  I'm not sure what about,
but something is amuck here besides the cow slop I'm standing in."

Tim Gunn: "I'd give my best suit for a cab right about now..."

WORK ROOM - they have until Midnight to complete the challenge...

Model: "Um... Amy?  I have a boob issue..."

Anna: "Jennifer forgot me last week, 
but I won't hold it against her.  Much."


Janeane: "Hold still, I'm drawing on some fat..."

Jesse: "But why is the rum gone?"

Jesus: (singing) "Meeee me meee.  Superstar.  
Do you think you are what they say you are?"


Heidi: "Do my feet look HUGE?  They feel huge..."

Guest judge, Lauren Hutton: "Invisiline is for wussies."



The print on the dress is made by a cut potato and ink.  Creative!
The design of the dress however, not creative.  YAWN.
Also, what's with the neckline?  Why is it crooked?
And HOW CRANKY is the poor model?
Maybe its because her slim figure looks like a dump truck in this dress.


Anthony had his work cut out for him as his model is CA-RAZY.
She wanted a million things and thankfully Anthony stayed true to his design aesthetic.
LOVE LOVE LOVE the color!  It doesn't look like burlap at all.  It looks LUSH.
I wish I could wear this, but alas, AARP has rules against this...


JEAN SHORTS?!!!!!!!  Really, Deiter?!  JEAN SHORTS!??  AHHH!
I can't help you.  You're a lost cause.
And now the dress - is she pregnant?  Epic miss.
And WOW.  Why is this model always angry?  
I know she's not here to make friends (wha-wha)but seriously.  Smile.  Your skin won't crack...


So Emilio proves that immunity was not needed and that he's a designer to watch.
HOWEVER, I hope that he's capable of more and isn't a one trick applique pony.
(Remember Rami?  Drape drape drape...)
But can we talk, Holly?  What happens to you on the runway?
Are you not being styled correctly?  Or are you too intense?
Because you aren't coming off as charming as you seem on MOTR.
I'm just saying.
(AND I should state that I've not had time to watch MOTR yet this week,
so maybe you're a complete hag there.  Doubt it, but anything's possible.)


Well let's start with something positive: Janeane didn't cry this episode!  HOORAY!
I'm not sure what I think about this dress.  It seems boring and safe.
Plus holy hips.  WTH?
And I don't like the "front bun" on her head.
Looks like her hair is having a bowel movement.  Not a fan.


UM...  Does someone look like LOGAN in that hat?  HMMMM?
Jesse, you're not Logan. Savvy?

But I do have to hand it to Jesse that this is the best looking pair of pants I've seen on PR in YEARS.
THANK YOU for not destroying her crotch.  (That's what she said!)
Kudos for making pants.  But overall, ick.  Sorry.  Not my cup of tea.


Hmmmm.  Burlap lingerie?
Not bad.  Not great.  Safe is exactly right.
At least, though, the dress fits her body.  Unlike some designers...


BOOOOOOO!  This is awful!  WTH?
Just a mismatch of color and design.  Nothing goes together.
I have no idea how this is safe.  NO IDEA.


Anybody else think that Seth Aaron may have a bromance going with Poison's front man, Bret Michaels?
But let's get to what really matters...  A HOODIE!
Oh sure, the rest looks like a lampshade and she should have been styled with fishnets ("It's a major award!").  But a hoodie!  Happy fists!!!

TOP 3:


First of all, it doesn't look like burlap even though its not dyed.
LOVE the movement of this garment and the design.
LOVE all of it.  I want it.  NOW.  RIGHT NOW.
I like Amy.  I think she's one to watch.


Hmmmm.  Um... NO.  Nope.  Not on board.
First of all, the dress doesn't fit her well in this picture.
The judges loved how futuristic it looks.  Okay?
But her boobs fall out. (Oh sure, I'm not a guy so this isn't a plus for me...)
This should have been safe.  Not a top design!!


LOVE THIS!  Good win - although I'm torn between this one and Amy's.
Both are just gorgeous and artistic.  I love the color and the rosettes on the bottom.
And it fits the model SO WELL. Fabulous dress - YAY JAY!




Ping then went on to say that she didn't understand what an industry party is.
I'm sorry, but if you don't understand the lingo of the industry, you need to be let go so you can learn.

BOOOO.  No offense, Ping, but this should have been your auf'ing...


Ummmm.  Okay.  Yes - he covered up a lot of the burlap with ribbon,
and yes, he seems to love "dragon brown,"
BUT... this should not have been a bottom two.
There is MUCH worse in the safe zone!

I hope Jesus has a better week next time as I think he has talent
and has just gotten picked on.  Cheek up, Jesus!

And auf'd this week:  PAMELA

Yes.  This is not a good dress.
Yes.  This model looks HORRIBLE.
She looks... enormous.
BUT, the dye job is GORGEOUS.
Pamela made burlap look like denim.  Pamela has a talent that I'd like to see more from.
But instead, another week of Ping.

Not. Cool. Judges.
And I knew the whole episode that she was out thanks to her soundbite at the top of the show,
which made the auf'ing very non-exciting.

But in a shocking move, Ping's model is "out" this week.
(I'll have to watch MOTR for a better understanding of how this went down...)

Next week - team challenges!  HOORAY!
Less pictures to post!  ;)

Until next time, make it work!


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  1. Okay, I like Seth's designs so far, with the exception of the red zipper on the first challenge. I hope he sticks around for a while.

    You are SO RIGHT about Ping! And I don't for a second buy "language barrier" as an excuse! She knew she had to at least cover her model's ass, and she didn't! She should have been gone, but they kept her because they want to see what goofy thing she does next, not for fashion's sake, but for ratings' sake! grrrr!! D:<

    This may start a war, but I like Jesse better than Logan... Sorry! Logan was like dry toast to me, very little personality (even on Twitter!), and I never really liked his designs. Right off the bat we learned something interesting about Jesse (savvy?), and he seems to be a lot more outspoken than Logan as well (he calls all the designers bitches in the model show ;)). I hope you keep the Capt. Jack Sparrow thing going, because that's just so much fun! :D

    I WANT AMY'S DRESS. That is all.

    I know you haven't watched it yet, but I think they are doing better with the model show this time around. They make it a point to let the designers know who was chosen by the judges as the best model in the last show, so at least here there can be some actual competition. Also, the designers may not have realized the full truth of it, but Elizabeta was actually the best model to be auf'd this week.

  2. WTF? Where are the 4200 comments? Did Lifetime kill PR with last season's doldrums??

    Or did Jennifer kill her blog-fans with too much bacon? Or by mailing it in last week (Oh HO, Miss Eolin, don't think we won't hold you to the fire, Missy!)

    But seriously? Where's Kat? And Zed? And Jenna? What's da haps?

    Anyways. Bunim/Murray are clearly in Haiti right now digging people from the rubble in order to make their horrible editing choices seem better to the fans.

    "It's a Major Award" wins for best reference of the week, juuusst beating out the JC Superstar ref (my fave musical, wish you could have seen my version of it, filling up that 750-seat theatre in Fresno of all places).

    Ping knew through her tears she should have been gone. HowEVah...I do want to see what crazypants has for us in the future. She's interesting in a non-Santino way (ie, I actually think she has a design esthetic).

    Emilio's dress is fabulous - while he is the most reliable out there and has a long career ahead of him working for Macy's, I think Deiter might be the one to watch for ('shyah, and monkey's might fly out of my butt!' oh. wrong mike myers character).

    I also don't see how Mila's oversized zipper front was 'futuristic and fun.' Of course, Lauren Hutton is no longer those things either.

    And I do so wish one of them would have said "THANK YOU MOOOOOOOOOO!"

    Love this're definitely BACK!

  3. I'm getting messages from people that blogspot is eating their comments! If you have a comment - please email it to me at and I'll post it for you. :)

    Off to work - will comment more later!

  4. I'm sure you know this already since you have much love for Logan, but Carol Hannah has a blog on the Project Runway site, and Logan adds little footnoted comments throughout:)

  5. Dear Jennifer,

    I was off working on another show that's sliding in quality so I didn't get to chime in at a point where this would be fresh or interesting, but whatevs it's a party, right? Here goes...

    As heinous a production decision as whatsername's death rattle interview was at the top of the show; especially paired with such insightful sound bites as "People are going to go home" and "I hope it's not me" and my personal favorite "The second challenge is next" (No poop, genius).

    Here's what really bugged me -mainly because it turned me into a hypocrite. They didn't have any "Ooh where are we going." "So we got in a van with Tim Gunn and he looked fabulous" soundbites or even a travel montage. They literally walked out of the runway area and AWKWARD CUT they're on a farm! I thought this season was in NYC. How the Hell did they get to Green Acres (Bum! Bum!)? And another thing - why did they have to go THERE for a potato sack challenge. Sacks are a surprise wherever you see them. You don't need to go to a farm and construct a BluFly accessory amish cart to sell the task. BAH. Hey BM productions, why not go to Ireland? The famine's over. They have potatoes there now.

    Okay, you covered most of what else annoyed me. I'll hang up and listen to your response. Also I have to cue episode 3 up on my DVR...BAH


  6. jayfersgirl - ooooooo! Thank you! :)

    Bennett - GOOD CALL ON THE "oops, here we are in a field" bullcrap! I hate the "Where are we going?" bites too but at least a travel montage would have been a plus. It was nice to see them in a field - but yeah, the set-up was crap.

    And you're never late to the party. Here it is Monday and my episode 3 blog has yet to be published. Oopsie.



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