Letters From Jennifer...

Dear Disneyland,

Sweet rodents without pants! What do you put in your churros to make them so heavenly sweet? Is it wrong that I dream about your sugary delish? Is it wrong that want to set the box I bought at the grocery store on fire because they taste like disappointment on a Tuesday afternoon? Is it wrong that I'm just THIS dorky? (Don't answer that. It's rhetorical and I know the answer.)

Please, Disneyland, find a way to market your churros outside of the Most Expensive Place on Earth. Please find a way to make this sweet biddy happy. It's the only sugar she gets.

Small worlds, big appetites,

Jennifer (Eolin)

****

Dear Retail Store,

Twas the morn before Labor Day, when all through the store,

people were shopping for bargains galore!

The sale signs were hung on their racks with care,

in hopes that suckers would soon buy their wares.

And my friend with her purse, and I in one of my hoodies,

had just set out hunting for end of summer goodies.

When over in Lawn Care there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from Women's Wear to see what was the matter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but a big ol’ sleigh and… eight plastic reindeer...?

I quickly looked over and said to my friend,

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it, like, Labor Day Weekend?"

And then in a twinkling I heard over a speaker,
the electronic stylings of Manheim Steamroller.

My eyes, how they reddened. My knuckles, stiffly cracking!

My temper like a flare gun, and my tact severely lacking.

I tracked down a manager, “Why so early?!”

To which he chirped, “To make a profit, surely!”

Then I jumped in my car, and revved the engine a spell.

My holiday spirit had gone straight to hell.

And they heard me exclaim as I drove out of sight:

"Early Christmas decorations are a blight!"

Buy a calendar!


Jennifer Eolin

****

Dear Project Runway Readers,

Ooopsie. I was out until about 3am last night and haven't even STARTED to watchProject Runway / Models of the Runway yet.

I know some of you are worried about me, "Jennifer (Eolin), when did you get so busy? Aren't you usually home nursing a bucket of pudding and crying into your soup?" (Shut up, I'm hungry.) And it's true! Yes, usually I am. However, this fall has been quite hopping and I have many projects up in the air and truth be told, if this biddy is going to be able to afford to stay in LA, the other projects need attention!

So hopefully, you can wait until Sunday/Monday for the blog. I'm off to watch now. I hope it doesn't make me angry. However, I'm sure it will.

Make it work!
Jennifer

PS - Buy more pudding.

PPS - Buy diet pudding.

PPPS - Buy a side order of dignity.