Sunday, June 5, 2011

Sunday Letters From Jennifer...

Dear Summer,

STOP IT.  You're quite early and frankly I am over your rude behavior of party crashing.  Let Spring have it's time here on Earth.  Is that SO hard for you to do?

I hate tank tops,
Jennifer (Eolin)

PS - I also hate sweating.
PPS - Seriously, there's not enough Shower to Shower to make you, Summer, tolerable.
PPPS - My electric bill hates you too.
PPPPS - I am cc'ing Humidity on this letter.

*****

Dear Politicians, Professional Athletes, Actors, et al,

You will get caught.  It's not the 70's anymore.  It's called Social Media for a reason.

Fail Whale,
Jennifer (Eolin)

PS - WHY do boys send pictures of their crotches?  
PPS - WHY do girls send pictures of their boobs?
PPPS - WHY do people still take self portraits in mirrors?
PPPPS - WHY don't these people have actual self-esteem and need validation by others?
PPPPPS - And why do I care so much?
PPPPPPS - And why is it NEWS?
PPPPPPPS - Grumpy fists!

******

Dear Illy Coffee,

Thank you for making a decaf coffee that doesn't taste like an ogre's dirty footbath water.

Hazelnut surprises,
Jennifer (Eolin)

PS - Could you maybe come down in price a little?
PPS - What do you mean that would compromise your flavor?
PPPS - But I'm on a fixed income!
PPPPS - Well could you go on sale more often?
PPPPPS - Yes, I understand I'm not the boss of you.
PPPPPPS - Well there's no need to call me names.  Especially that one.
PPPPPPPS - I still love you.


2 comments:

  1. Love your posts and these letters are too great!
    You ROCK!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails