Sunday Letters From Jennifer...

Dear Summer,

STOP IT.  You're quite early and frankly I am over your rude behavior of party crashing.  Let Spring have it's time here on Earth.  Is that SO hard for you to do?

I hate tank tops,

Jennifer (Eolin)

PS - I also hate sweating.

PPS - Seriously, there's not enough Shower to Shower to make you, Summer, tolerable.

PPPS - My electric bill hates you too.

PPPPS - I am cc'ing Humidity on this letter.

*****

Dear Politicians, Professional Athletes, Actors, et al,

You will get caught.  It's not the 70's anymore.  It's called Social Media for a reason.

Fail Whale,

Jennifer (Eolin)

PS - WHY do boys send pictures of their crotches?  

PPS - WHY do girls send pictures of their boobs?

PPPS - WHY do people still take self portraits in mirrors?

PPPPS - WHY don't these people have actual self-esteem and need validation by others?

PPPPPS - And why do I care so much?

PPPPPPS - And why is it NEWS?

PPPPPPPS - Grumpy fists!

******

Dear Illy Coffee,

Thank you for making a decaf coffee that doesn't taste like an ogre's dirty footbath water.

Hazelnut surprises,

Jennifer (Eolin)

PS - Could you maybe come down in price a little?

PPS - What do you mean that would compromise your flavor?

PPPS - But I'm on a fixed income!

PPPPS - Well could you go on sale more often?

PPPPPS - Yes, I understand I'm not the boss of you.

PPPPPPS - Well there's no need to call me names.  Especially that one.

PPPPPPPS - I still love you.