Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Where Did Romance Go? (Or why do all songs now have the word "Bitch" in them as a term of endearment??)

A characteristic that helps define me as a "new old biddy" is that I'm horribly late to every technological party. To illustrate this point: I just got my first iPod in 2007. (Take THAT, Mac! You don't own me!) My phone doesn't get the internet ergo it has zero "apps for that." I prefer shopping in stores versus shopping online (cuz I like to touch everything). I like actual solid books over the Kindle. But I DO enjoy using a microwave over an oven, so I guess that's something? (Don't yell, I tried...)

So my newest "discovery" was last week was Pandora Internet Radio. (However, I was proud to only be a little over a year late to this party. Only a year! That's progress, people!) And in classic "new old biddy style" I'm listening to music from another era: Frank Sinatra. Sarah Vaughan. Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong, et al. Which brings me to my second discovery... this music makes me feel ROMANTIC. (WHAT?! The "r-word"?! I know! A stunned gasp escaped my own lips as I realized it. Or it was a burp. Either way, I was taken aback as well.)

Now you may ask, "Jennifer, why are you just now coming into the idea of romance? Aren't you 30-mumble-years-old? And for Pete's sake, what were you FEELING before?"


1) I've always been a bit of a "dude" about romance until lately. I'm a late bloomer, shut up.
2) Yes, I am that old, thanks bunches for the reminder now shut up.
3) Who is Pete and why is he sticking his nose into my business? (It's a bad joke, but I need to deflect, shut up!)

Romance was never at the top of my list. My (failing) career was always very important. Shopping was important. Watching Project Runway has been a list topper for the past several years. But now... I have this burning need for romance! Where's my slow dance under the stars in Paris? Where's my candle lit dinner followed by champagne kisses? Where's my surprise picnic complete with flowers and bacon? Sweet tea bags, people, I NEVER had these wants before in my life. NEVER. If I wanted flowers, I bought myself flowers. Fancy dinner? I had my girlfriends to get dressed up with for a night on the town. And I can count on my pooch, Matilda, for nose kisses and snuggles 24/7. And now... I'm a complete sap and I totally blame Pandora for my emotional turn-about. (Can I sue??)

There are so many great songs, but I really love "La Vie En Rose" as sung by Edith Piaf. (Side note: I called her Edith Pilaf-- like the rice-- in earnest the other day. I'm an epic ass-can.) The song is simple and sweet:

Hold me close and hold me fast,
The magic spell you cast,
This is la vie en rose.

When you kiss me, heaven sighs,
And though I close my eyes,
I see la vie en rose.

When you press me to your heart,
I'm in a world apart,
A world where roses bloom.

And when you speak, angels sing from above,
Everyday words seem to turn
Into love songs.

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose.

Swoooooooon! Louis Armstrong also sings this song and it's just soooooooooo sweet. Again I say, SWOON with a dash of happy fists! Le sigh...

Maybe if I had been listening to this kind of music since infancy I would have been more into romance and maybe (just maybe) would have DEMANDED it in my life and not settled for anything less. I mean, let's look at a popular song that the kids are listening to that is shaping their little silly-puddy-like brains. It's by Pitbull who has a (horrible) song called "Hotel Room." Please check a (horrible) sampling of the (horrible) lyrics:

Forget about your boyfriend and meet me in at the hotel room.
You can bring your girlfriends and meet me at the hotel room. (x2)
We at the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn. (x4)

Aw, isn't that nice? That nice Mr. Pitbull is obviously offering some less financially fortunate women to come find warmth and a good meal in his classy Holiday Inn hotel room because he has a kind and chaste heart. (PS - The rest of the song is SO explicit that I couldn't even post it. Let's just say, it'll be a cold day in hell before I attempt to eat an egg white omelet anytime soon. Google it, I'm not explaining...)

So now I have to figure out what to do with this new need for "romance" in my life. Maybe it's just a passing phase in my life like having a successful career. (BAM, I said it.) Or maybe its here to stay. Hmmm. Yikes? Is there an app for that? Cuz I'd totally take the time to figure out how buy it... in a year from now.

(Just for fun, some songs I listened to whilst writing this blog entry: "It's Magic" by Sarah Vaughan, "More Than You Know" by Carmen Rae, "Darn That Dream" by Ella Fitzgerald, "Ring-A-Ding-Ding" by Frank Sinatra, "What'll I Do?" by Nat King Cole, "Cheek to Cheek" by Mel Torme, "The Very Thought of You" by Billie Holiday, "Trust in Me" by Etta James, "Love For Sale" by Eartha Kitt and "This Years Kisses" by Nina Simone.)


  1. Yeah, I can understand your desires. I grew up watching musicals. I never understood why people don't get married after one day and spontaneously break into song.

  2. Holy Smokes! Romance and bikini pics in the same blog post? You're awesome! ;)

  3. While I haven't caught the "romance" bug yet, I do love Pandora radio! Are you really only a year late? I've been using Pandora since 2006. For once in my life, was I ahead of the trend?!?

  4. Joanna - HAHAA! Seriously! And why can't we all dance in unison either??

    Ed - I know. Who am I????

    Angela - AHHH! Damn Wikipedia said it debuted in 2008. BOOOOO! I'm way later to the party than expected. Dammit. I'll need to make myself a Bromo Fizz in order to calm down...

  5. Well whoever you are, I think you're swell. ;)

  6. Yet another reason that youngsters need to be listening to country music. Sure, there's drinking, cheating and ass kicking. But there's also stuff like this and this.

  7. I called 1-800-Flowers, but they said they wouldn't make a bacon arrangement for you. Jerks.

    So instead I called Austin Scarlett, and he's designing you a wonderful gown made of corn husks and bacon.

    I wish you'd let some of us have a chance to be romantic. These things take willing participants, you know.

  8. the lyrics to "Begin
    the Beguine" get me EVERY TIME.



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