Wednesday, April 8, 2009

This would make Grandma very proud...


My grandmother was a whiz-bang at memorizing produce prices.  She'd read the newspaper and then you could quiz her about the price of any given vegetable or fruit at the different grocery stores in the area and she would answer with 99.9% accuracy.  And to compound this, if lettuce was 5 cents cheaper a head in the next town over, she'd make Grandpa drive their Cadillac over there so she could buy it there.  Even if it was the only thing she had to get there, "Broccoli is 2 cents cheaper at Wegman's!"  (We dared not tell them that they probably lost their savings in gas...  It was quieter that way.)

So while my grandmother would plan her whole day around her produce purchases, I avoided it like Fox News avoids the truth (HEY-OO!).  Not because of taste (except for cauliflower - blech!), but because I live alone and the stuff goes bad within 2 days of purchase.  And I constantly fall into the trap of, "Wow, tomatoes look great in the store!"  So I buy them.  Then the next day I'm all, "Wow, I don't feel like tomatoes today."  So they stay in the fridge instead of coming to work with me for lunch.  Then a few days later I'll say, "I could go for tomatoes---EWWWW!  GA-ROSSS!  WHY DOES IT HAVE TWO HEADS?!"  And into the trash they go.  Along with the money they cost me.  Phooey.

While I avoid buying produce, I DO buy every As Seen on TV product I can get my hands on.  So imagine my happy fists when I saw this little item beckoning me at my local CVS:


OH HAPPY DAY!  

However, I was wary and kept my happy fists to only two shakes instead of their usual fit.  After all, I'd been duped before.  I've renamed the Sham-Wow the Sham-Bullshit.  It doesn't soak up anything other than my dignity and remaining self esteem.   And $19.99.   (Stupid hooker beater dude is also a liar.  Go figure.)

But in a quest to not throw my blueberries away constantly (why does that sound dirty?!), I bought Debbie Meyer's Green Bags (and why does that sound even dirtier??).  And low and behold.... THEY WORK.  Honestly, they do.

I have tomatoes that are over a week old from Trader Joe's (you know, the kind that you buy and they are already half rotten by the time you get them home).  I have week old blueberries that haven't shriveled up like Papa Smurf's man-junk yet.  I have bell peppers and grapes that are still edible and don't look like biology experiments!  IT'S A MODERN MIRACLE!!!  These bags WORK!  

So in honor of my grandma, I'm passing along my good find in hopes that Debbie Meyer's Green bags will help keep your produce happy and non-mulchy.  But if you drive to the next town to save five cents, I'm sorry, but you're on your own as I don't know an As Seen on TV product that will help you there.  I'll just send you the five cents, how 'bout that?

13 comments:

  1. I just bought a banana at ralphs, despite a 5 cent difference from Vons across town.

    You owe me $.05

    z

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  2. I've always wondered if those things worked. Glad to know they do! Kind of surprised, but glad :-)

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  3. I was a little skeptical too when my dad gave me a couple to try out but I was pleasantly surprised when they worked. Plus you can re-use them several times before replacing them. Now that is what I call a recession-era product!

    P.S. I knew there was something creepy about that sham-wow guy!

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  4. If you like Green Bags, this will rock your world:

    http://saladsac.com/

    For real - I can keep lettuce for at least two weeks...

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  5. Oh yeah - you'll love it. You have to remember to keep the bag a little wet (it's made of terrycloth), but not dripping wet, so it's not like it makes a big mess in the fridge.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love those things! They work! For what it's worth, I've also tried the Smooth Away. Not very impressed-it's just easier to shave, no matter how tiny your shower is. :)

    A trick for getting bananas to last longer is to split them us and place them at least 5 feet apart, so put one on the fridge, one by the coffeemaker, one by the toaster, etc.

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  7. Really, the Sham-Wow doesn't work??! And I'm on Vince's side on the prostitute beating thing. He paid a thousand bucks for her and he can't get a little tongue action!? That's bs.

    I, too, am amazed when anything ASOTV works, so I'm glad to hear about the bags! New/Old Biddy advice rocks!

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  8. Sorry for the double post but I had to respond to the salad sac comment. For years, my mom used to wrap her lettuce and other veggies in terry cloth dishcloths. If she only knew that she could have marketed it!

    By the way, the Vidalia Chop Wizard(https://www.chopwizard.com/)is awesome!

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  9. Hahahaha......I'm still laughing about shriveled up blueberries "like Papa Smurf's man-junk." Eww! But funny!

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  10. I was just wondering how you felt about PR coming back in the summer?

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  11. ok, is it random that I *just* bought these the other day too...before I read this? I am a little single now in that my boyfriend is working out of town for a while, so these are a life saver!

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