Project Runway Round-Up - Episode 14 - Finally, The Finale is OVER!

GUIDELINES TO READING JENNIFER (EOLIN'S) PROJECT RUNWAY BLOG:

* Jennifer was severely bored by Season 6 of Project Runway.

* Jennifer knows she CAN NOT do any better than the Season 6 designers.

* And Jennifer REALLY knows she can't be a model.  Boy howdy.

* HOWEVER!!

* Jennifer DOES believe she can do better producing.

* There.

* I said it.

* Neener neener.

*****

Last week on Project Runway:

Papa Gunn makes bisquits in a sexy apron with Carol Hannah.

Then he meets Princess.  And her dog, Princess.

Then he single-handedly brings the word "Egads!" back into current vernacular.

Carol Hannah is sick, but not trendy enough to get Swine Flu.

The designers are not at all surprised by having to construct a 13th look.

LOGAN RETURNS!

And nothing else matters.

SWOON.

*****

YAWN.  Is it finally over?  Is it?? Or am I just in a badly inspired Dallas dream and when I wake up, we will only be on the scintillating "make something in blue" challenge?

"I'm an old reference, but solid.

Because it's morning."

TEE HEE!

I have to say, Season 6 of Project Runway really made it hard to blog this year.  Between the trite bites and tired storylines that went NOWHERE, I had very little fodder. Honestly, I have to say, THANK GOD FOR LOGAN. 

Yes.  I'm single.

Yes.  I'm too old for him.

Yes.  That's how bored I was.  So shut up!

I feel as though I was forced to take up "cougar-ism" as a blog-hobby to dull the pain, which I understand is completely embarrassing... for Logan.

Althea:  "I'm sorry, Logan, about Jennifer (Eolin)."

Logan:  "Thanks, dude."

Althea: "But you two would be cute together 

since you wear your hair the same knot in the back!"

Logan: "Okay, talking time is over now..."

So, as stated earlier, this was the MOST boring finale ever.  Seriously.  YAP YAP YAP about nothing.  Sewing and mild bickering.  Big whoop.  But the big "story beat" of the episode is that Irina and Althea are similar.  Why is this news to everybody (read: "the producers") in the finale?  And son-of-a-b, WHO CARES?!  Neither of Althea or Irina created the wheel with "a smudged eye" as their make-up direction.  Can we all just calm the crap down and realize that we're not curing cancer here?  Nobody has a kidney in the cooler, k?  Oversized sweaters and smudged eye accusations are NOT worth the tears Althea was brought to.  I feel like that whole interlude was brought on by bad and desperate producing.  (Meaning Tim Gunn was pressed to be an instigator by a producer who said, "WE HAVE NOTHING.  Make something happen!  I know!  My college education in something other than story construction is telling me to go with eye shadow.  Make it work, Tim!")  I mean his statement was just as stupid as saying, "You're making a dress?  That sounds suspiciously like what Carol Hannah is doing."  He'd never say that.  So shut up (producers!) about the smudged eye.

BAH!  Biddy bitching over.

So that's the work-room drama basically.  So let's just get to the runway and judging.  Because I believe that's all any of us care about anyway.  Other than Logan.  Good grief, I'm even annoying myself now...

BACKSTAGE @ FASHION WEEK:

Tim Gunn has to keep the girls on task...

Tim Gunn: "I'm vexed.  Isn't the sliding 'digit' trick usually done with your thumb?"

Althea: "This is what Irina will look like after I smudge her eyes."
Tim Gunn: "I have to admit, I like it."

Tim Gunn: "EGADS, who let Kim Kardashian in here?"

Irina: "Tim, it's me."

Tim Gunn: "Honestly, I said firmly, 'NO KARDASHIANS.'"

Irina: "Tim, it's me, Irina."

Tim Gunn: "OH.  Hmm.  Well you're not a much better option, to be blunt."

Irina: "Yeah, I hear that a lot."

Tim Gunn: "I bet you do."

Tim Gunn: "Why can't I stop looking at your boobs?"

Carol Hannah: "I was just going to ask that!"

Tim Gunn: "Because you clearly don't have any to even really look at."

Carol Hannah: "Annnnd I'm going to go be sick now.  Thanks."

Kaylin: "Are you looking at my boobs?"
Tim Gunn: "Well, not NOW."

Tim Gunn: "WHO IN BLAZES LET ALTHEA WEAR THESE BOOTS?  

What in the hell, people? Do I have to do EVERYTHING?!  

I am Tim Gunn, not GOD, dag nabbit!!"

Tim Gunn: "It was you, wasn't it?  YOU let her leave in those boots."

Carol Hannah: "I'm sick, I have no judgement sense."
Tim Gunn: "I hope you know there's no way you can win now.  

I'm going to have to inform the judges to your fashion lapse."

Carol Hannah: "That seems unfair."

Tim Gunn: "Well the producers are looking for any reason 

to validate that you'll be in third place.

Carol Hannah: "WHAT?!  But the runway show hasn't even started yet!"

Tim Gunn: "Welcome to reality television, honey."

Carol Hannah: "Son of a bitch."

RUNWAY SHOW:

Michael Kors: "Which camera should we be looking at?"

Heidi: "Don't ask me.  I can't see because I'm SO MAD 

that I'm dressed in liquid Barbie."

Nina Garcia: "Who knew that I'd be the best dressed on here?"

Michael Kors: "Everybody needs a victory once in a while, Nina."

Nina Garcia : "True, but not Carol Hannah.  

I heard she wasn't even savvy enough to get Swine Flu."

Heidi: "Lame.  I will take out all my outfit anger out on her."

Nina Garcia: "That sounds very rational."

Tim Gunn: "Hello, audience!  I would like to take a moment 

to apologize for the lamest season of Project Runway ever!"

Heidi: "And I'd like to apologize for every outfit I wore."

Tim Gunn: "Please watch us next season."

Heidi: "Yeah, I'm having another kid, 

and I need the money since Seal is a 'stay at home dad.'"

Tim Gunn: "'Kiss from a Rose' isn't paying the rent, is it, Heidi?"
Heidi: "Shut it."

NOW...

The only pics of the runway fashions I could find are on other blogs.

So please visit my friends at Blogging Project Runway to see

Althea's, Carol Hannah's and Irina's collections.

UPDATE:  Okay, for some UNKNOWN reason MySpace won't let the links work.  So let's do this the old fashioned way, shall we?  (Copy & Paste.  How 2003.)

Althea's:  http://allprojectrunway.blogspot.com/2009/02/season-6-finale-collection-1.html

Carol Hannah's: http://allprojectrunway.blogspot.com/2009/02/season-6-finale-collection-2.html

Irina: http://allprojectrunway.blogspot.com/2009/02/season-6-finale-collection-3.html

Okay... back to your regularly scheduled blog...

Now, if you can believe it, I don't have a lot to say about these lines.

COLLECTIVE GASP!

But it's true!

I didn't like Althea's that much only because I'd look like a cow in those pants,

but enjoyed and would wear a lot of Carol Hannah's items.

And as soon as I saw Irina's Apocalyptic Horseman theme (thanks, Ella!) I knew she'd win because it was a cohesive line in the world of fashion.

Just because of those damn horse hats.

I really don't understand why Carol Hannah was omitted third.

THAT FLOORED ME.

How could two smudged eye/oversized sweater collections

be neck and neck in the finals??

Sigh.  Bored.

UNTIL I get the full effect of the guest judge's hair:

Nina: "Can't.  Stop.  Staring."

Michael Kors: "Stop it.  I'm going to laugh any second..."

Everybody on the internet as already made the "Something About Mary" reference.

So I'll make my own (out-dated) reference:

Ed Grimley: "Her hair, I must say, is making me mental."

TITTER!

Back to the runway...

Kaylin: "I so want to ride an angry horse right now."

Tanisha: "My boobs are out of control, like always."

Lisa: "WHY do I look wide in these dresses?  WHY?!"

Carol Hannah is auf'd first.  Even though Althea put on proper boots.

So now it's Althea and Irina.

Then the inevitable, Irina is upgraded from Princess to Queen.

Irina: "I'm so honored and humbled."
Althea: "Bitch, I'm gonna backhand you if you don't knock crap that off."

Irina: "I knew I'd win."
Heidi: "This is as much enthusiasm as I can muster."

Irina: "I know, nobody likes me."
Heidi: "Boy howdy."

Heidi: "YOU I'll hug!"

Kaylin: "Don't hug me too hard, 

my double stick tape will come off!"

And as you know, there's been scuttle-butt over Irina's use of an article's 100 Reasons to Love NYC on one of her shirts.  TLo @ Project Rungay has a great interview with Irina regarding her win and the legal issues.

UPDATE:  Again, MySpace is a big pooh-head and won't let the link work.

Copy & Paste and enjoy!

http://projectrungay.blogspot.com/2009/11/t-lo-interviews-irina.html

Again, back to your regularly scheduled blog...

And, that, ladies and gentlemen, is Season 6 of Project Runway.

May it rest in peace and never be spoken of again.

****

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See you for Season 7!

Until then... make it work!