New Painting!

I had the WHOLE day off today.  I'd looked for jobs, submitted a bunch of resumes the days before and had no shows tonight.  So naturally, I balanced my checkbook, cleaned, organized and read to orphans.  I kid!  I hate orphans!  (More kidding!)  I used today to paint... and man, it felt good.

When I was home last I was drawn to this photo my mom had taken in Iceland and framed:

Isn't that beautiful??  Mama Eolin has a really good eye.  (She took about 390348309438930438 photos, and that's just from last year...) It kinda already looks like a painting to me, which is maybe why I HAD to paint it.

So first step:  SKETCH.

Fascinating, right?  I use a charcoal pencil to roughly gauge where everything will go.  I know this looks like a child did it, but it took me an hour.  45 minutes was just looking at the picture and then looking at my canvas, then looking at the picture again, then back at the canvas.  (Where's my Icy/Hot??)

Second step:  Start to color block.

SQUEE!  So this process takes a few hours.  Figuring out colors and paint strokes, as well as fixing anything that doesn't look right proportionally along the way as once the next layer goes on, it's harder to fix anything I don't like.

Step three:  Landscaping! 

The grassy hills are in the style of Van Gogh, or at least my interpretation of Van Gogh.  I love his brush strokes and how he translated what he saw through paint.  I want to be just like him but without the bucket of crazy and just go around that whole bit about giving body parts to hookers and suicide.  (WHY are painters so messed up?  Thank GOODNESS I'm so rational and even keel..... right?!?!)

Now the details and voila...  It's done!!

I started painting at 1pm and finished at 9:30pm.  (A few breaks in there along the way... this biddy needs her tea, thankyouverymuch.)  I have a bunch of other photos from the same town that my mom sent me, so I'm hoping I'll be able to get to those SOON!  And hey, if I remain unemployed, yes, I will get to them sooner than later.

(NOTE:  Not sure if this is for sale yet.  If so, I'll be posting it in my future Etsy store.)

By the way, I've watched the following art movies/docs lately and all have been fascinating (and are avail on Netflix):

* The Art of the Steal

* Exit Through The Gift Shop

* Frida

* Pollock

* Beautiful Losers

I also just started reading Steve Martin's latest novel set in the art world, An Object of Beauty.  SO GOOD.

Okay, time to clean up the studio (read: "kitchen") and sit on the couch for an unauthorized amount of time and think about WHY my overhead neighbors must stomp when they walk.  Why can't they sit down too?  Sigh...

Acting: It's What's not Paying For My Dinner (...but that's okay)

"Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing."

-- Sir Ralph Richardson

Simply put: I like acting. It's the ultimate game of pretend and quick frankly, had "playing pretend" ever been an Olympic sport, you would have found my quirky visage on a box of Wheaties.

I remember the moment when I wanted to act. I was in fifth grade and had just watched The Karate Kid and was spellbound by 1) Ralph Macchio's good looks and 2) how moved I was by the acting. (And yes, now you know how much the 'mumble' stands for in thirty-mumble-years-old is, shut up.) I held my precious copy of Teen Beat magazine in my tiny hands and sobbed. I walked up to my mother as she was making up my sister's bed. I stammered at her, "I want to be an actor." Being the awesome lady that she is, my mom calmly replied back, "YOU WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!" Ha! I kid! She said, "Well you can join drama club next year when you start middle school." Tears of passion turned to tears of joy and I happily skipped back into my room to survey my wallpaper made entirely of Ralph Macchio with guest appearances by Michael J. Fox. ("The Coreys," River Phoenix, Kirk Cameron, Rick(y) Schroeder and Jason Bateman came a little later in my interior design scheme...)

Fast forward to middle school! I made it into the drama club and auditioned for a few comedy sketches. I was good! I made people giggle! But the GROUCH OF A BAD WORD lady who ran the club HATED my guts wouldn't cast me in anything. (I have no solid proof why she didn't like me but my guess is because she didn't believe in television and my dad ran a television station. Yeah, messed up, right?) Anyway, I was banished to the back line of the chorus for the opening act which was a rousing rendition of "There's No Business Like Show Business." (And by 'rousing' I mean, 'disjointed.') I was seen on stage for about 4.5 seconds. I wore knee socks. That's all I remember of the show.

In 7th grade I applied to be in the drama club again and was flatly rejected. This meant I couldn't audition for any shows that the school produced. Understatement: I was devastated.

In high school I was in marching band and couldn't audition/participate in the fall play due to scheduling. I never auditioned for the spring musical because, well... if you've had the misfortune of sitting with me in a car while I "sing" to the radio, you know why. (And I apologize to your ear drums and sense of good taste.)

I let my passion for acting go at the time and sunk into writing. I'd always been a good writer and now that I hadn't been able to get on stage when I was fearless, writing better suited my now shy and withdrawn personality. (No, for real, I barely spoke. Unlike now, which I'm getting to so simmer down.)

Fast forward (again) to 1999. I'm in LA and working in sitcoms, hoping to be a writer. But, my shyness is still VERY apparent and I knew I'd never make it in a writers' room which was basically a joke factory. I could barely say my own name, much less pitch a joke to a room full of people. Friends of mine were doing improv and suggested I take it just to help get over being so shy. With the tune, You're the Best Around, bouncing around my head (and lagging self-esteem), I signed up for my first class at TheatreSports LA.

In short, when I started improv, I WAS HORRIBLE. (I also would stand in the parking lot for a half hour before each class and debate whether or not to quit, throw up or both.) I could barely speak or move and was so sure that everybody was judging me harshly. I was so inside my own fear that I couldn't see anything really going on around me. Thankfully, I had amazing teachers who held my hand when they needed to and yelled when they needed to. One made me cry! And it was the best day of my life.

Let's fast forward one last time to 2011. For those of you who know me now, "shyness" isn't a word you would use to describe me; however, "she could shut up from time to time" might be a phrase you would quickly blurt out. Improv gave helped me find the confidence I had in life before being shut down in middle school. It also gave me a way to combine acting and writing.

This brings me to the fact that 13 (holy shit!) years later, I'm living as I wanted to in 6th grade: on stage. I've been doing improv professionally for over 10 years and in the past 6 have gotten into scripted acting. I LOVE IT. All of it.

So this brings me to the sales pitch part of this blog: JOIN MY CULT! No, I mean, please come see me in my first off-off-Broadway appearance in NYC! (And by the way, off-off Broadway has nothing to do with location, it has to do with theatre size and ticket sales. Otherwise this would be "off-off-2-subways-later-and-bring-a-snack Broadway.)

I'm part of the 6th Annual One Act Festival in Long Island City. (Click here for details, directions, etc.) I'm in two one acts that are both comedies and play on different nights. So if you want to see both, you have to buy 2 tickets. (I didn't make the rules!)

So here's the details on the shows:

"The True Story" is during Program 2:
1/13 Thursday- 8pm
1/15 Saturday - 8pm
1/20 Thursday - 8pm
1/22 Saturday - 3pm

"Cookie Darling" is during Program 3:
1/14 Friday - 8pm
1/16 Sunday - 8pm
1/19 Wednesday - 8pm
1/22 Saturday - 8pm

Both one acts I'm in are comedies! "The True Story" is 14 minutes and just as a teaser I will tell you that I have 2 accents, 2 dialects and an interpretive dance piece. If that doesn't entice you, then I can't help you. "Cookie Darling" is a longer piece which is probably around 20+ minutes or so. It's very funny as I have to play sexy, which for any of you who know me well, know is just inherently (and awkwardly) funny.

I hope you can make it! Based on audience VOTING, the top one acts will continue on to a finals week! So please come and vote!

Yes, acting doesn't pay the bills (and may never) but it makes me happy. I enjoy the laughter of the audience. I enjoy that we had that experience together, but moreover, I enjoy the discount at the concessions stand and keep hoping to find Ralph Macchio in the audience.  Sweep the knee!

NEW CafePress Items - UPDATED!

"SQUEEE!"

-- Jennifer Eolin

My holiday store at CafePress was such a success that I've been inspired to do more!  (Insert collective applause here, followed by sighs of relief and the dull roar of thousands of happy fists bapping gently together.)  

I've put up postcards and blank note cards (perfect for thank-you notes!) as well as mugs and tote bags.  The process this time was really satisfying.  

A sneaky way to make sure dining out is the only option:
Cover the dining room table with crafty stuff.
(PS - The sushi dinner was delicious.)

I've accrued A LOT more supplies since my holiday batch, as you can see above.  (I personally am keeping Michaels Art Store open on the upper west side these days.)  I did all the designs myself using stamps and hand coloring in the ink.  Then my super-cute-and-talented Manfriend helped get the quality just right using his super fancy computer thingy.  (He understands computers.  I understand blogging.  Big difference.)

What is posted in the shop today is just the start!  (And more than is posted here in the blog.)  There are still more designs in the hopper that will come out very soon.  Enjoy!

Bouquet of Red Roses note card

Bouquet of Blue Mums note card

Tree park inspired by Central Park

Bouquet of Chyrsanthemums

UPDATED: More designs!
(All designs offered on a variety of products, 
these are just samples.)

Wildflowers magnet

"Thank you" Owl note card

 Thank you note card with sunflower

"Thank You" Polar Bear note card

Cherry Blossoms in Central Park in Springtime!

Check out my CafePress store for more designs and options!!  Squeeee!

Does Not Compute

As a blogger, I like to see what keywords are bringing people to my page.  (Thankfully, "complete idiot" and "weirdo" are NOT keywords used to find me.  Yet.)  And I as I read the list I thought, "Holy candy canes, what the hell did I blog about that led people here with THAT combination of words?"  Here are some examples of noggin scratchers:

* "Burlap lingerie" 

* "Craig The Freak live" 

* "Sugar Brown get tall" 

And my favorite:  

* "Smiley face fuck you"

I can only someday hope that I read the article about the Craig The Freak: LIVE show in which Sugar Brown wears burlap lingerie in the highest heels possible and sings his new song, "Smiley Face Fuck You."  Ah, to dream....

Overheard in New York: The New Old Biddy Edition

One of my favorite websites right now is Overheard in New York.  Click the link and laugh your ass off, you'll thank me later. (Seriously, I'll expect a thank you note penned in fanciful calligraphy, complete with statements complimenting my persona and visage.  Shut up, I have needs.)  And since I've been living in NYC for almost a year now (GASP), I wanted to share my OWN "overheard in New York" conversations.  

I know: SQUEE!

I can see my house from here!
Photo credit: Sam O'Hare.
Please visit his photo site HERE.

So here they are - please enjoy!  And make sure to open up your own ears in your neck of the woods and share YOUR own "Overheard in _____" stories!

Overheard on the street... A group of kids walking down the street at night, having a loud conversation:  One of the guys says to another:  "You is damn lucky its yo birthday or I'dda pushed you in the sandwich shop." Yes.  Lucky indeed.

Overheard on the subway... A very drunk 30-something-guy drinking vodka right out of the (plastic flask) bottle listening to his iPod and LOUDLY singing and crying in German, "The world!  THE WORLD!"  (And PS, "world" was pronounced "vorld.")  To top off this picture, he was sitting next to a granola-woman dressed in all natural fibers wearing a pin that said: "I heart mountains." It. Was. Awesome.

Observed on the street...  A black Rolls Royce Phantom patrolling the streets of the Upper West Side with the license plate that reads: "A MASTER."   Master "what," I wonder.... (Insert easy joke here.)

Overheard on the street....  A 20-something girl and guy are walking down the street.  The girl is obviously midstory and is yelling: "So they all hated me! All of them! They all hated me all the time!" The look on the guy's face she was with confirmed that her statement was mistakenly spoken in the past tense.

Overheard on the street.... Two gregarious girls sauntering down the street with a bag of booze.  The one girl is singing: "3 bottle of wine in the bag! 3 bottles of wine! Take them down and pass them around and then we're going to die!"  Not exactly Darwin's theory, but okay....

Overheard on the street.... Two guys  in suits walking briskly down the street and one says to the other: "...I mean if relationship stuff comes up, that's great, but I will only date strippers." Um... At least he's open to a relationship...?

Spoken to me on the street...  While walking my dog, a homeless guy says: "Hey beautiful lady, I'll walk your dog if you walk me."   No, thanks.  You're not my type.

Overheard in a restaurant....  A middle-aged man and woman sitting at a table, chatting over coffee about their lives.  She asks him about a job interview to which he responds: "Am I going to the job interview in Princeton? Of course not! It'll take DAYS to drive there. I mean Phili is 2 hours away."  I didn't realize there were 2 hours in a day.  Learn something new every day, or every 2 hours, depending on how you quantify it.

Overheard on the subway...  2 students sitting together: "Your sophomore year is about the time you realize you're not a freshman anymore." *facepalm*

Overheard on the street.... A very agitated man YELLING into his cell phone: "So you don't know if the movie is on Demand or not?!" Guy has his priorities apparently...

Encountered on the street...  I was walking home from work when a guy got in my face and yelled his greeting at me: "HEY BLACK MAN!" I was tempted to yell back: "HEY WHITE GIRL!" but you know... that would be wrong.

Overheard in a restaurant... A man and woman eating dinner, the man is talking about his new cell phone: "I got Google Maps but I don't know how to use Google Maps. I need a 12-year-old to teach me how to use the Google Maps."  He should carpool with the guy who thinks it takes a day to get to Princeton.

And finally..... I overheard this one this summer with my friend, Julia.  NOTE: It's not nice.  It's not PC.  It's not clean.  BUT it's so hilarious.  We doubled over laughing for about 10 minutes.  We just couldn't contain ourselves.  So please read with caution and remember, like a 2-year-old, I'm just repeating what I heard an adult say....

Overheard on the street....  A large African-American guy is standing in front of a movie theatre, nonchalantly going over the listings to his friend on the other end of his cell phone, "The Blindside: you know the one where the Sandra Bullock plays the benevolent white cunt who saves the retard."

You.  Are.  Welcome.

I Should Open My Own Mall...

And here's another store!

Zazzle has ornaments and postage to compliment the items available on my holiday store on Cafe Press!  

So let's review:

Homemade Original Holiday Cards can be ordered/viewed HERE.

Cafe Press Holiday Store is HERE.

Zazzle Holiday Store is HERE.

THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!

Happy Holidays!

"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them by Christmas."

-- Johnny Carson

For those of you who have been reading my blog for years, you know a few things about me:

*  I like tea, hoodies, dogs and Project Runway (the Bravo years)

*  I used to be a reality show writer/producer but then had what can best be described as a "complete mental breakdown brought on by a fit of good taste" and left the industry all together.

*  I really like to paint and create things that delight me and make me say, "Squeeee!"

*  I tend to overuse the word, "Squeeee!"

In the past few years I've tackled painting as aggressively as one can who still needs a day job to pay rent.  (STUPID RENT!)  My latest venture is creating art through the medium of stamping.  (Not postage stamps.  Stampy stamps.)  I admit, I really like it!

If you've been living under a rock, you missed that I am making HANDMADE stamped holiday cards!  You can see the blog here with the descriptions and an order form located at the bottom of the entry.  My LATEST venture was to turn my favorite holiday stamp prints into items available on my CafePress Store!

Perfect for coal!

There are mugs, ornaments, coasters, magnets, stockings (as in Christmas, not as in No Nonsense), baby bibs, baby hoodies, baby hats, aprons and postcards.  Lots of different prints too!

The yellow ones don't stop.
Not even for tea.

Penguins!

A winter wonderland ornament!

A much better option than a fully bunny outfit,
ala Christmas Story.

Baby hat!  One size fits all!
(I bet it would even fit my tiny melon...)

This is just a small sampling - lots of products with different designs!  Please enjoy my Cafe Press Store this Cyber Monday and help keep this artistic biddy artistic.  If I have to go back to reality television, I will blame you.  (I'm not petty....)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

UPDATED: Holiday Cards!

I love making many things.  Like making jokes, making cereal, and making noise.  (Not necessarily in that order, however.)  But my favorite thing to make is art, in whatever form it happens to appear in my life.  Mostly, it's been in the form of paintings, but today, it's HOLIDAY CARDS!

Take THAT, Hallmark!

I've been collecting "holiday" stamps along the way this season and have made these holiday card prototypes.  That's right, these babies are for sale!  And in plenty of time for the holidays.  ALL are handmade by me, so each will be unique.  Also all will be dated with the year and signed by me on the back.  

PLEASE NOTE: As these are prototypes, (meaning I made them on my floor just now), they are not perfect.  All purchased cards will not have smudges.  Scout's honor.  (PS - I was kicked out of Girl Scouts.  Just saying...)

UPDATE 11/15/10 - NEW CARD - Seasons Greetings Penguins!

I like penguins.  And so do my readers!
Lots of requests for a penguin card.

The inside is "Seasons Greetings" in red ink.


And here's what a bundled pack of 10 cards looks like - all ready to ship!

I FINALLY have an excuse to buy ribbon.  FINALLY.

And here are the 5 originally posted cards in detail:

NEW YORK CITY - Holiday Card:

EXACTLY what NYC is like during the holidays.
Except the cabs aren't so orderly.

Inside NYC card

EVERGREENS - Holiday card:

I love Evergreens!  Even when it's summer these
trees still say "holidays" to me.

Inside Evergreens holiday card

CHRISTMAS TREE - Christmas card:

Only one present.  It is a recession, you know...

Inside Christmas Tree card

PEACEFUL WOODS - Holiday Card:

The Peace Dove is flying south for the winter.

Inside Peaceful Woods card

REINDEER - Christmas / Holiday Card:

When I was a kid, I got reindeer and moose mixed up.
I'm happy to report that I'm better now.

Inside Reindeer card

Cards are 10 for $20 (plus shipping).  YOU CAN ORDER ANY COMBINATION OF THESE CARDS THAT YOU WANT!  All of just one card?  Sure!  3 of 1, 3 of another and 4 of another?  Yeppers.  

If you buy 10 for $20, your second batch is 10 for $15 

and your third and subsequent orders are 10 for $10!

ALL orders can be placed through this order form (WHICH IS NOW CLOSED).  

(All email address will remain private - no spam here!)

Payments will be made through PayPal.  I will start production on your order only after I receive the money via PayPal.  

I will also entertain special orders - if you'd like to swap "insides" of cards out for another one you see, totes fine.  Just let me know.

THANK YOU in advance for ordering!  If you don't order any, then whatevers.  We're still cool, but you WILL get a holiday lump of coal in your email stocking from a grumpy biddy...

Sometimes I have to brag...

If you've been reading my blog for a long time you know that my family is very dear to me.  Well sometimes I just have to brag about them because they are just SO amazing not only as people, but as TALENTED people.  My brother-in-law, Sam O'Hare, is the creator of two amazing short films that utilize the "tilt shift" technique.  Please take a few minutes to watch his latest short film, Coachelletta, his view of Coachella from this past spring.

Coachelletta from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

And if you like that (which you surely did), please watch his first film, The Sandpit, which has gone on to win awards and will be screened at AFI in LA next month:

The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

You can read more about Sam's process on The Sandpit and Coachelletta on his director rep's blog.

Enjoy!

There Goes My Free Time...